A teacher forwarded this 列表 of 评论 from test papers, essays, etc., 提交 to science and health teachers 由 elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As she noted, It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.
The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the 心 and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u.
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When 你 smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is 杜松子酒 and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.
Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super saturated solution is one that holds 更多 than it can hold.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a 花 is its only protections agenst insects.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the 更多 extinct it is.
Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Liter: A nest of young puppies.
Magnet: Something 你 find crawling all over a dead cat.
Momentum: What 你 give a person when they are going away.
Planet: A body of Earth surrounded 由 sky.
Rhubarb: A kind of 芹菜 gone bloodshot.
Vacuum: A large, empty 太空 where the pope lives.
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative 或者 negative.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the 心 stops.
For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
To keep 牛奶 from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.
For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. 或者 put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
To prevent contraception, use a condominium.
And Now, Even 更多 Weirdness!
These are supposedly actual 答案 给 on High School Science Tests:
Many dead 动物 of the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
All 动物 were here before mankind. The 动物 lived peacefully until mankind came along and made roads, houses, hotels and condoms.
Men are mammals and women are femammals.
Proteins are composed of a mean old acid.
The largest mammals are to be found in the sea because there is nowhere else to put them.
Involuntary muscles are not as willing as voluntary ones.
Methane, a greenhouse gas, comes from the burning of trees and cows.
The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the 最佳, 返回页首 and 你 sit on the bottom.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Some people say we condescended from the apes.
The leopard has black spots which look like round soars on its body. Those who catch soars get leprosy.
The three cavities of the body are the head cavity, the tooth cavity and the abominable cavity.
Most 图书 say the sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into the sun in the daytime.
Cadavers are dead bodies that have donated themselves to science. This procedure is called gross anatomy.
A liter is a nest of young baby animals.
The earth makes a resolution every 24 hours.
Parallel lines never meet unless 你 bend one 或者 both of them.
Algebra was the wife of Euclid.
A 圈, 圈子 is a figure with 0 corners and only one side.
A right angle is 90 degrees Farenhight.
Genetics explains why 你 look like your father and if 你 don't, why 你 should.
A supersaturated solution is one that holds 更多 than it can hold.
The pistol of a 花 is its only protection against insects.
An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a 公牛 that gave a great deal of 牛奶 with a 公牛 with good meat.
If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.
When oxygen is combined with anything, heat is 给 off. This is known as constipation.
As the rain forests in the 亚马逊 are shrinking, so are the Indians.
你 can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close 你 came to getting hit. If 你 don't hear it, 你 got hit so never mind.
The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the 心 and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u.
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When 你 smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is 杜松子酒 and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.
Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super saturated solution is one that holds 更多 than it can hold.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a 花 is its only protections agenst insects.
The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the 更多 extinct it is.
Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Liter: A nest of young puppies.
Magnet: Something 你 find crawling all over a dead cat.
Momentum: What 你 give a person when they are going away.
Planet: A body of Earth surrounded 由 sky.
Rhubarb: A kind of 芹菜 gone bloodshot.
Vacuum: A large, empty 太空 where the pope lives.
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative 或者 negative.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the 心 stops.
For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
To keep 牛奶 from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.
For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. 或者 put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
To prevent contraception, use a condominium.
And Now, Even 更多 Weirdness!
These are supposedly actual 答案 给 on High School Science Tests:
Many dead 动物 of the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
All 动物 were here before mankind. The 动物 lived peacefully until mankind came along and made roads, houses, hotels and condoms.
Men are mammals and women are femammals.
Proteins are composed of a mean old acid.
The largest mammals are to be found in the sea because there is nowhere else to put them.
Involuntary muscles are not as willing as voluntary ones.
Methane, a greenhouse gas, comes from the burning of trees and cows.
The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the 最佳, 返回页首 and 你 sit on the bottom.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Some people say we condescended from the apes.
The leopard has black spots which look like round soars on its body. Those who catch soars get leprosy.
The three cavities of the body are the head cavity, the tooth cavity and the abominable cavity.
Most 图书 say the sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into the sun in the daytime.
Cadavers are dead bodies that have donated themselves to science. This procedure is called gross anatomy.
A liter is a nest of young baby animals.
The earth makes a resolution every 24 hours.
Parallel lines never meet unless 你 bend one 或者 both of them.
Algebra was the wife of Euclid.
A 圈, 圈子 is a figure with 0 corners and only one side.
A right angle is 90 degrees Farenhight.
Genetics explains why 你 look like your father and if 你 don't, why 你 should.
A supersaturated solution is one that holds 更多 than it can hold.
The pistol of a 花 is its only protection against insects.
An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a 公牛 that gave a great deal of 牛奶 with a 公牛 with good meat.
If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.
When oxygen is combined with anything, heat is 给 off. This is known as constipation.
As the rain forests in the 亚马逊 are shrinking, so are the Indians.
你 can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close 你 came to getting hit. If 你 don't hear it, 你 got hit so never mind.
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