Found this on www.funny.com. That site has so much funny stuff...lol
Women's English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious 由 now.
Do what 你 want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want 你 to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, 你 moron!
You're so manly = 你 need a shave and 你 sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all 你 ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This 厨房 is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed 你 were almost asleep.
Do 你 爱情 me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do 你 爱情 me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a 分钟 = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
你 have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are 你 listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don't 你 get out of 床, 床上 and walk him until he falls asleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is 表演 up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.
********** Men's English:
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired" = I'm tired.
"Do 你 want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take 你 out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call 你 sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give 你 a massage." = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are 你 going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do 你 want to have sex?
"I 爱情 you." = Let's have sex now.
"I 爱情 you, too." = Okay, I 说 it... we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way 你 cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way 你 cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress 你 由 展示 你 that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will 你 marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for 你 to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
"I don't think that 衬衫 and that 短裙, 裙子 go well together." = I am gay.
Women's English:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious 由 now.
Do what 你 want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want 你 to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, 你 moron!
You're so manly = 你 need a shave and 你 sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all 你 ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This 厨房 is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed 你 were almost asleep.
Do 你 爱情 me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do 你 爱情 me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a 分钟 = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
你 have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are 你 listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don't 你 get out of 床, 床上 and walk him until he falls asleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is 表演 up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.
********** Men's English:
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired" = I'm tired.
"Do 你 want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take 你 out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call 你 sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give 你 a massage." = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are 你 going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
"I'm bored." = Do 你 want to have sex?
"I 爱情 you." = Let's have sex now.
"I 爱情 you, too." = Okay, I 说 it... we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way 你 cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
"Yes, I like the way 你 cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress 你 由 展示 你 that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will 你 marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for 你 to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
"I don't think that 衬衫 and that 短裙, 裙子 go well together." = I am gay.
i think
that 羊 are the best animal in the world
and
香蕉 are the best 水果
and
all vegetables are crap
and
clouds are better than smoke
and
fireworks are............um..........good?
and
a 羊 should eat a 香蕉 what then says
"VEGETABLES ARE CRAP!"
and then say
"i 爱情 clouds but SMOKE IS CRAP!"
i think
Justin Bieber is the worst thing that ever
i mean ever
happened to the 音乐 business
and
lady gaga is the best thing what ever happened
to the 音乐 business
and
羊 should be able to eat people so that it can over populate the earth
SO WRITE A 评论 AND BECOME A 粉丝 OF ME
MY ARTICLE
AND WRITE A 评论
YA GET ME???!!!
:)
that 羊 are the best animal in the world
and
香蕉 are the best 水果
and
all vegetables are crap
and
clouds are better than smoke
and
fireworks are............um..........good?
and
a 羊 should eat a 香蕉 what then says
"VEGETABLES ARE CRAP!"
and then say
"i 爱情 clouds but SMOKE IS CRAP!"
i think
Justin Bieber is the worst thing that ever
i mean ever
happened to the 音乐 business
and
lady gaga is the best thing what ever happened
to the 音乐 business
and
羊 should be able to eat people so that it can over populate the earth
SO WRITE A 评论 AND BECOME A 粉丝 OF ME
MY ARTICLE
AND WRITE A 评论
YA GET ME???!!!
:)