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随意 问题

poem i wrote:)

it sucks but oh well..ill take constructive criticism. plzz rate it between 1-10

here it goes:

shooting star( the title)

i look up at the sky at night
even when its dark its bright
and if i where to crinqe in fright
i know 你 would hold me, tonight
your kinda like my shooting star
your not near but your not far
i wait for 你 日 and night
i want 你 to say its allright
你 are there
你 arent far
你 are my
shooting star

mm. i hope thats how it went. well..im not really into 诗歌 and thts my first poem ever!

 heavenly13 posted 一年多以前
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随意 答案

peterslover said:
Well done! Very artistic, clever, poetic.


One thing though, this does NOT belong in the question. This is an article. 粉丝 will see that 你 发布 an article, that shows up in the 更新 just like questions, picks, etc!
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Well done! Very artistic, clever, poetic. One thing though, this does NOT belong in the question. This is an article. 粉丝 will see that 你 发布 an article, that shows up in the 更新 just like questions, picks, etc!
posted 一年多以前 
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oh..okay. i didnt know if anyone really answered artivles. lol. ill remember that
heavenly13 posted 一年多以前
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And 你 can post 图片 there too!
peterslover posted 一年多以前
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Keep up with your poetry! Well done!
peterslover posted 一年多以前
volleyblue13 said:
I 爱情 it! so cute :)
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posted 一年多以前 
mikeguy said:
i think is awesome and better than mine
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posted 一年多以前 
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nah! i like yours better! we should write one together one day. jk..im not really into 诗歌
heavenly13 posted 一年多以前
demon_wolf said:
I think its really good. Its sweet. I like it. =D. I would give it 5 stars if it was 发布 in an article. ^^
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posted 一年多以前 
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oh...ooops. i didnt know we could post those at the time.lol
heavenly13 posted 一年多以前
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Its alright. =). All thats matters is that people like the poem. ^^
demon_wolf posted 一年多以前
clevercaoimhe said:
it sweet 你 should do 更多 poetry=)
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posted 一年多以前 
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i may
heavenly13 posted 一年多以前
archiejake1991 said:
I 爱情 it.....awesome.i'll give 10/10.:)
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posted 一年多以前 
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thanks!
heavenly13 posted 一年多以前
amethyst44 said:
so cute!! I 爱情 it!! Keep writing---it seems like 你 have a career ahead of you!!! :D
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posted 一年多以前 
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lol..i wanna be a wrter but notwh poetry!
heavenly13 posted 一年多以前
rkrahu said:
I like that Your first attempt then it's very well
U just attaching someone who is special like special shooting star.
Shooting 星, 星级 gives u expectation 或者 wishes
and in poet someone like shooting star.
1-2 word I can't recognized but whole is superb
keep it up
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posted 一年多以前 
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