What are some things that 你 shouldn't say at a funeral?

"So wheres the cake?"

"Geesh. Its so gloomy here. Who died?"

"Pst. When is this going to be over? Im bored."

"AFTER PARTY AT MY HOUSE!"

"The weak will rot for being weak while the strong with stand, watch, and laugh *evil snickering*"

"Hm. About time the brat died."

"You know, he looks prettier dead than alive."

"Question. Do we have wifi access here? If so whats the password?"
"You know. After all he did, he probably went to Hell."

"Damn. He/She [the person who died] is hot."

"Pst. Now that hes dead, I can tell 你 this secret of his."

"I know where he stored his gold."

"*evil latin chanting in the background*"

"Hello (insert dead person's name) watching your own funeral is hard isnt it? *looking over into dead 太空 to the side* Well dont worry. Its something 你 get used to."

"The guy deserved it."

"I bet he suffered when he died."

"What did the dead man say the his lover? He didnt say anything because he cant speak! ..... ....."

"D is for deceased corpses that die right in front of us. E is for ending liveeesss. A is for the apples Ryuk eats! D is for something eeellllssseee."

"Pst. Someone pass the weeeed"

"This must be the best party Ive ever gone to!"

Walk up to someone, look them straight in the eye and say, "you're next" ...

O_O

"Thanks for inviting me, I had fun."

Saying loudly "This is an awesome party!!"
Mom: "Honey, shush, this is a funeral, not a party!"
You: "Oh, it isn't?"
Mom: "No, now be quiet!!"

1 分钟 later...
You: "Best funeral EVER!!! Where's the cake? Who wants to party?"

"this b!tch still owe me 20 dollars"

"Wait... Whose funeral is this again? I forgot."

"Geez, it's so downcast here. It's almost as if someone died. C'mon, turn up the music, let's PAAAAARTAAAAAY!"

"Pssst, where's the sweets?"

"My speech? Oh, uh, um, okay. Er... This person really... uh... Yeah, this guy had so low of an impact on my life I didn't even bother to prepare a speech."

"You know, I heard this dude was an ass. He's definitely going to hell. Guess I'll seem him there!"

"Why are fences built around graveyards? Because everyone is DYING to get in! Hahahaha, get it? Hey- why are 你 walking away? Hey! WAIT! WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID?"

"I would much rather watch a documentary on how paper was created than be here, pretending as if I actually care about this dude."

"I cried 更多 over Mufasa's death than I did here. Says a few things, doesn't it?"

"As the Lion King taught us, it is the CIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIFE! IT MOOOOVES US AAAAAALL! ..What? It is! Now quit crying, honestly. You'll die at some point, too, 你 know! In fact, 你 may even be the 下一个 person to die! Good thing I don't like you. I won't be invited to another snoozefest."

"Where's the bouquet? Don't we have to throw that to find out who'll be next?"