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Anxiety issues? Depression? What's going on with me?

I don't know. I don't know what's going on.
Sometimes, not often but sometimes I get so overwhelmed with loneliness that I cry.
Sometimes, I just sit and stare for mins.
Sometimes, I think I'm worthless.
Sometimes, I dwell on all my past sin and think God is so far away.
Sometimes, I feel so alone and like I always will be.

When someone comes and shows even a little understanding I cling to them because I feel like I have to. I'm scared to lose that.
I have trust issues with boys because one once told me "all I wanted from 你 was sex"

My cousin passed away in Aug so I'm still dealing with that and wondering if the sorrow of that has anything to do.
My mother abandoned me when I was a baby and I know I have abandonment issues. She left my brother though too and he seems to be fine.

I'm needy, I'm clingy, I'm emotional.
I over-think things. I overreact.
I'm 20 so I can't wait to have my own apartment but when I imagine what it will be like, I literally picture myself just sitting on the 长椅, 沙发 wrapped up in a blanket and staring at nothing.

I don't know if I have something wrong with me. Like a condition, but I don't want to think that I do. What if I'm just like this?

Also. . .I don't know if this effects how I am but my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me but not my brother. I don't think it was hard drugs but I don't know what it was.

评论 anything but please be nice.
 SarahCorine posted 一年多以前
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随意 答案

MineTurtle5 said:
Wow. I've been there before, but not with those circumstances. I don't know exactly what 你 feel, but 耶稣 does. Turn to Him. He's waiting for 你 to tell Him how 你 feel, and He's waiting to 显示 你 how much He loves you.
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posted 一年多以前 
_Laugh_ said:
*sigh* Depression. We all have been depressed. Cuz, everybody has a private world where they can be alone. Believe me, I know how it feels like. I'm bullied at school, my mother hates me, and I 迷失 my best friend. It hurts. But when I was drowning, and nobody saw me struggle, 音乐 was my only friend. So my 建议 is to listen to 音乐 and ignore the world.
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posted 一年多以前 
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Thank 你 very much. I know everyone gets sad from time to time. It's normal, but I was starting to feel anxious all the time. And thank 你 for the song. I like Eminem.
SarahCorine posted 一年多以前
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Yay. Don't worry sweetie, it'll all be okay in the end. If its not okay, it's not the end
_Laugh_ posted 一年多以前
SeeUV3 said:
What your feeling...I understand it I have depression I feel lonely I feel worthless my father abandoned me and I have terrible trust issues with guys . Trust me im clingy has well and really emotional and I over reacted to a point people think im insane . And I to feel like I will always be alone due to anxiety and I think 你 may have depression cause that's what I have
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posted 一年多以前 
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Sound like 你 might just be my twin. Everything 你 said, I could have 说 as well except for the father. It was my mother. First, I'm sorry that 你 have depression. It hurts. Second, thank 你 for sharing this with me. It makes me feel like I'm not alone. And third, what do 你 do for it? Did 你 have it checked 由 a doctor 或者 take pills for it?
SarahCorine posted 一年多以前
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i have to go to threapy its getting worse
SeeUV3 posted 一年多以前
Sir_Kiwi said:
You're not the only person that deals with depression, don't worry. I don't think there's anything wrong with you. Everyone gets depressed at least once in their life.

你 can maybe just sit it out and wait it through. 或者 if 你 feel really depressed, smile. Smiling actually makes 你 feel better.

If 你 live through everything and your life actually gets better, everything will seem like a much 更多 happier place than before.
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posted 一年多以前 
mizorewannabe said:
I don't know, either. I think there's depression within me.

Everything 你 described is what happened to me, too. Except for everything mom and dudes.

My grandmother passed away 4/4/13.

This year. This 年 was supposed to be special. But she died of liver cancer. The doctors 说 that was the most painful cancer to go through, but in my opinion, all cancers are supposed to be painful. How did your cousin die?

To escape the pain, I try to be fun, ya know. Watch funny videos, say corny jokes; those kind of things.

Look! A funny video from mah 最喜爱的 anime!
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posted 一年多以前 
springely said:
Go big 或者 go home, we're all gonna make it one day.
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posted 一年多以前 
Otaku_Girl4890 said:
It's probably your past just now hitting you. I feel alone too, like no matter who I'm with, I'm still alone in the mind and body. I've learned to live with my feelings, excepting that I'll always feel alone. I have very high self confidence despite that though. 你 might be suffering from depression.
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posted 一年多以前 
Zeppie said:
I'm sorry about what has happened to 你 :(

What you're dealing with is most definitely depression. Please, do get help. Keeping it all to yourself will do no good at all. Talk to a professional about it, book an appointment. As a last resort they can give 你 medication to help.

To help distract 你 from it, focus on your hobbies. Got any hobbies like drawing 或者 something like that? Focus on that and improve to keep your mind busy.

I can relate. My depression stemmed from my social anxiety which is still quite bad. I used to cry every 日 because I couldn't reach out and just plain communicate with people. I had no social life and I would just come 首页 from school each 日 and lock myself in my room and cry... then come out for dinner, then go straight back to my room and cry myself to sleep every night. I got help and no it didn't 'cure' it, but it helped me gain perspective. What I need to focus on is dealing with my social anxiety, because that is really taking over my life :(

Just remember that no matter how alone 你 feel, 你 are still worth while. Life is going to kick 你 down all the time and you're gonna think that no one cares and 你 are alone. You're not. Just embrace and acknowledge that the way you're living right now is not mentally healthy, so talk to someone before it gets worse.

I know what you're going through, coming from an 18 年 old girl with social anxiety trying to survive university... it's difficult, but we'll get there :)
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posted 一年多以前 
Book-Freak said:
你 should go and talk to your doctor. My mum is going through this right now and she says 你 should go and talk to your doctor. They will be able to prescribe ou with some anti-depressants and organise counciling for 你 to deal with your depression and anxiety. It's okay, you're not alone, but 你 need to deal with this. People can and will help 你 and if 你 ever need someone to talk to my 收件箱 is alway open.
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posted 一年多以前 
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