Anxiety issues? Depression? What's going on with me?
I don't know. I don't know what's going on.
Sometimes, not often but sometimes I get so overwhelmed with loneliness that I cry.
Sometimes, I just sit and stare for mins.
Sometimes, I think I'm worthless.
Sometimes, I dwell on all my past sin and think God is so far away.
Sometimes, I feel so alone and like I always will be.
When someone comes and shows even a little understanding I cling to them because I feel like I have to. I'm scared to lose that.
I have trust issues with boys because one once told me "all I wanted from 你 was sex"
My cousin passed away in Aug so I'm still dealing with that and wondering if the sorrow of that has anything to do.
My mother abandoned me when I was a baby and I know I have abandonment issues. She left my brother though too and he seems to be fine.
I'm needy, I'm clingy, I'm emotional.
I over-think things. I overreact.
I'm 20 so I can't wait to have my own apartment but when I imagine what it will be like, I literally picture myself just sitting on the 长椅, 沙发 wrapped up in a blanket and staring at nothing.
I don't know if I have something wrong with me. Like a condition, but I don't want to think that I do. What if I'm just like this?
Also. . .I don't know if this effects how I am but my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me but not my brother. I don't think it was hard drugs but I don't know what it was.
评论 anything but please be nice.