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随意 问题

Can i get someone's opinion PLEASE

Okay I've written a story but can someone tell em if they like the story line.
A girl is 给 a 项链 由 a gypsy while travelling with her family, and they find a stray dog. While driving her family has a car crash. She and the dog survive. She is taken to the hospital and while there she dicovers she can read minds and travel to a differnt world in her sleep. She figures out the 项链 is helping her with this....jeez that was a long explanation. If 你 want a better idea, some of it is 发布 on here under the name Alyria. Okay I'm going to stop talking now =)
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IF 你 want to read it just type in Alyria in the 搜索 box and it should come up
Free_Spirit posted 一年多以前
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It's not something I'm particularly interested in, however, 你 have a good story on your hands. Work on your grammar, and 你 may have 更多 potential than 你 could imagine. Add some 更多 detail, it's very vaguely described in your intro, and the story's a bit hard to grasp the concept without rereading.
j1edwardcullen7 posted 一年多以前
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cool thanks for the critism, alot of people don't give critism afraid of hurting people. And we might run into a few grammar problems =)
Free_Spirit posted 一年多以前
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oh and I'll also desrcibe it 更多 for people. Thanks
Free_Spirit posted 一年多以前
 Free_Spirit posted 一年多以前
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随意 答案

lilred96 said:
yeah sure i would 爱情 too read 更多 but can 你 send me a link to the first chap?
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posted 一年多以前 
sweet_n_silly said:
i think it sounds pretty good
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posted 一年多以前 
Aisuanime said:
Sounds good, and unique.
Post the 问题 on the 写作 club and a lot of people would view and answer X)
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posted 一年多以前 
j1edwardcullen7 said:
My answer's a 评论 ^.
Mine's similar. It's about a girl who died twice and is now like the grim reaper, where she claims lives in her sleep, 由 becoming the person - and doesn't know how to control it. :D
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posted 一年多以前 
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cool can i have a link to your story?
lilred96 posted 一年多以前
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