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随意 问题

你 like my story!??!?!?!??!

This is how I ship my-self with Mello so if that much turns 你 off then don't read it XD

It was like when he was joining the Mafia we'd been there for about a 月 and one day, I told the guys to clean up (since I'm a girl and don't like mess). And there were like "What did 你 say?" So i told them i was tired of cleaning up after them all the time. So the leader was all like "I'd like to hear 你 say that again," and kept coming closer to me till I was backed up on a wall. Then I was just standing there too scared to say anything, so he put his hand under my chin to force me to look at him and was like "What's wrong? Cat gotcher tongue." and he dragged me into the 下一个 room and pushed me on the 床, 床上 and tried to rape me. So Mello heard me fighting and heard bumping sounds (which was me kicking and him falling off of me) so he ran into the room and fought them off for me and told them "leave her alone if 你 want some so bad go out and buy it 或者 he'd kill all of them" so he grabbed me 由 my wrist and pulled me to his room and threw me at the 墙 grabbed my shoulders and was like "What's wrong with you?! How could 你 let that happen?!" and I started to cry I was so scared. I 更多 afraid of him being mad at me than being raped. So I 说 "I'm sorry, I was trying to fight them off but there were too many." and I looked up, and his eyes got softer. We were just staring at each other for a while then he kissed the tears away from my face one at a time. Then I put my hands on the back of his neck and kissed him and we both slid down to the floor.And after we realized what we were doing we stopped and just stood there for a while looking at each other then he got up and went to the bathroom surprised at what he did. I waited for him to come out but he didn't so I went to his 床, 床上 and fell asleep.

All done.
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*myself *. *We'd *they *I *I *against a 墙 *, *got your tongue that's some. XD
wantadog posted 一年多以前
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Thank you. XD
amzel posted 一年多以前
 amzel posted 一年多以前
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随意 答案

trainofdoom82 said:
This is fucking terrible

Just saying.

Self inserts are bad enough, but I'm not judging the 写作 based on the pairing, the style, tone, dialogue, grammar is just terrible.

No. Just no.


你 need to try harder.
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posted 一年多以前 
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Agreed
dragonchick posted 一年多以前
xFluttershyx said:
:)
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 :)
posted 一年多以前 
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Did 你 read it?
amzel posted 一年多以前
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No.
xFluttershyx posted 一年多以前
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Omg XD
amzel posted 一年多以前
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XD
xFluttershyx posted 一年多以前
mmmpienomnomnom said:
too many words, aru! DX
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posted 一年多以前 
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Noooooooooooooooo please it's good! People who read it 说 so!
amzel posted 一年多以前
Panda-Hero said:
I already told you, it'rs pretty sweet.
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posted 一年多以前 
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and I mean sweet as in awww
Panda-Hero posted 一年多以前
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See 你 like it! They refuse to read it! I typed it all up and no one wants to read it!
amzel posted 一年多以前
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Well,you can't FORCE them to read it.Anyway,I think it's alright.Just improve the grammar a bit.:)
90sfan posted 一年多以前
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^She wasn't forcing, she was asking. Forcing would be 'READ THIS 或者 I KILL MY SISTER'
Panda-Hero posted 一年多以前
emimc said:
Awwwwwww, so sweet. Luv da story!
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posted 一年多以前 
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Yay. Thank 你 :D
amzel posted 一年多以前
wantadog said:
That's kinda cool. I'm not much of a DN 粉丝 though...
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posted 一年多以前 
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Thank 你 And what no grammar naziism(s) XD
amzel posted 一年多以前
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哈哈 if 你 want XD
wantadog posted 一年多以前
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Take it away! I know one thing though, almoth all those sentences started with "and".
amzel posted 一年多以前
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哈哈 I usually discount that one
wantadog posted 一年多以前
TotalDramaDoll6 said:
u should do a part 2! exept no rape. i personaly think it would be better without rape. but its sweet how he rescued u :D
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posted 一年多以前 
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XD No rape! 你 make it sould funny. And thanks.!
amzel posted 一年多以前
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thx :)
TotalDramaDoll6 posted 一年多以前
XxKeithHarkinxX said:
TL;DR

._.
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posted 一年多以前 
egyptprincess7 said:
*Blinks* It's okay.
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posted 一年多以前 
hgfan5602 said:
Rape's not for me.
Besides, 你 should post your stuff on True Writers.
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posted 一年多以前 
BlindBandit92 said:
Um yeah I am not gonna read a story based on 你 shipping yourself with Mello. Yeah no.
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posted 一年多以前 
ScaryCatfish said:
Eh.. Try a bit harder, mate. I'm assuming 你 like Death Note too. l is my 最喜爱的 character.
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posted 一年多以前 
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