Prof. Horrible's Sing along Story
Please keep in mind this is partially AU. Also, Private doesn't exist, and Skipper has a separate habitat from Kowalski and Rico. Marlene doesn't see them often, except at Inspection Day, when the Zoo Keepers take them out of their habitats for a thorough cleaning of their homes.
Act I - Scene II
Marlene stood just inside the zoo walls. She has a small stack of papers in her hands, with some drawings on them of the Kids Petting Zoo and some baby animals, and then a parking lot and sad baby animals. She holds one paper in her hand, trying to hand out papers to Zoo 动物 passing by.
"Would 你 lend a caring hand, to Shelter those who need it?" She sang
"Only have to sign your name, don't even have to read it.
Would 你 help? No? How about you?"
Meanwhile, Kowalski was walking just outside the zoo walls, a handbag in his flipper. Some distance away, a 面包车, 范 stopped in front of a bank-type building across from the zoo. Kowalski picked a small device out of the bag, and threw it at the car. It flew, latching itself onto the car and hooking itself up with the main electrical system of the van. Kowalski pulled an iTouch out of the bag (said iTouch had a tiny crack in the screen), and turned it on. The 面包车, 范 started up, and Kowalski grinned. He stood up, tossing the bag over to behind one of the Zoo Gate Walls.
Marlene noticed Kowalski just outside, and dared to venture out. "Would 你 lend a Caring Hand…?" Kowalski, startled 由 this sudden intrusion, jumped a good two feet in the air.
"Aaaah! Ah! Ah! Ah ah! Ah! Wha?" He asked, hiding the iTouch from her view while still maintaining his flipper on it. Marlene looked down at the papers, and then back up.
"Well, I, I was just … Hey, I know you!" She 说 happily.
"Hello. 你 know me? Cool. I mean, yeah, 你 do. Do you?"
"From Inspection 日 at the Zoo?" Marlene suggested
"Wednesdays and Saturdays, except twice last 月 你 skipped the weekend. Or, if that was you. It could have been somebody else. I mean, I've seen you. Kowalski is my name." Man, he was screwing this up so badly! Kowalski thought First time I have a conversation with her and I'm so messed up!
Marlene either pretended not to notice, 或者 was just very good at not reacting to babble. "My name's Marlene." She said, holding out her paw. She reluctantly took it back to her papers when she saw that he wouldn't take his flipper off his iPod. "What are 你 doing?" She asked.
"Um, texting. It's very important 或者 I would stop. What are 你 doing?" He replied, not missing a beat.
"I'm volunteering for the Caring Paws Treeless Shelter. Can 你 spare a moment 或者 two?"
Kowalski looked back to the van, making sure it wouldn't go anywhere. Rapidly making a decision, he furrowed his brow. "Um… Okay, go."
"Ok, we're hoping to open a new location soon, and expand our efforts. There's this
great building nearby that the city is just going to demolish and turn into a parking lot,
but if we get enough signatures..."
"Signatures? *pfft*" 说 Kowalski condenscendingly
"Yeah…" Marlene replied, a slight confusion in her voice. Noticing her confusion at his interruption, Kowalski quickly apologized.
"I'm sorry, go on." He smiled.
"I was saying, um, maybe we could get the city to donate the building to our cause. We
would be able to provide 250 new beds, get people off the streets and into job training so they could... buy rocket packs and go to the moon and become... florists... You're not really interested in the homeless, are you?" Her rant turned to rubbish as he was distracted once again 由 the van. Why can't he pay attention, what is so important that it can't be bothered for two minutes? She thought
"No, I am. But they're a symptom. You're treating a symptom and the disease rages on,
consumes the human race. The 鱼 rots from the head as they say. So my thinking is why
not cut off the head?"
"Of the New York Animals?" Marlene was apalled
"It's not a... perfect... metaphor. But I'm talking about an overhaul of the system. Putting
the power in... DIFFERENT... hands."
"I'm all for that... this petition is about the building..." She smiled, bringing the topic back around to the right subject. Kowalski smiled back. "I'd 爱情 to sign."
"Thank you." 说 Marlene graciously
"Sorry I... I come on strong." Kowalski apologized
"But 你 signed. That's all that Matters."
"Wouldn't want to turn my back on a fellow - laundry person..."
"Well if WE can't stick together I don't... I'll probably see 你 there." She started, 由 the end it had turned into muttering, as Billy was, once again, distracted. Still nothing interesting going on, what was so important?
Kowalski noticed she had 说 something, and tried to reply. -"No, I will, I'll..." – only to find that she has left in 搜索 of 更多 signatures. He sighed in frustration.
"She talked to me. Why did she talk to me now? Maybe I should..." He pondered if he should go talk to her – he had never felt so at ease with her before, and it probably wouldn't happen like this again. Then on the other hand, there was the Wonderflonium to take care of . He needed to get into ELE – he needed that Wonderflonium!
#5 – A Man's Gotta Do Dr. Horrible, Penny, Captain Hammer
He closed his eyes, and gave up going after her. Finally making a decision, he broke into song. As he did, he walked behind the Zoo's Outer Walls and changed into his Professor Horrible outfit.
"A man's got to do what a man's got to do,
Don't plan the plan if 你 can't follow through
All that matters is taking matters into your own hands
Soon I'll control everything
My wish is your command…"
Suddenly his song was cut short as his archnemesis, Col. Skipper, jumped down onto the van.
"Stand back everyone,
Nothin' here to see
Just imminent danger,
And in the middle of it – me!
Yes, Col. Skipper's here,
Hair blowing in the breeze,
The 日 needs my saving expertise!" The shorter 企鹅 hit Horrible'sdevice, sparks sent flying.
A man's got to do what a man's got to do,
Seems my destiny ends with me saving you
The only doom that's looming is 你 loving me to death,
So I'll give 你 a sec to catch your breath."
As Col. Skipper was singing, the 面包车, 范 was headed straight for Marlene! Skipper threw her out of the way, right into a large pile of Garbage. The 面包车, 范 stopped just inches from Skipper's outstretched flippers, the result of Professor Horrible pressing violently down on the brake on his remote.
"You idiot!" Prof. Horrible exclaimed, coming out of his hiding place.
"Dr. Horrible. I should have known 你 were behind this." Colonel smirked
"You almost killed her!"
"I remember it differently." Colonel replied, denying any claims of near-death.
"If she... *ugh*" Col. Skipper grasped Horrible 由 the throat, cutting off his voice box.
"It's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains."
"Whuh?" The Colonels a little nutty in the head, apparently. Marlene crawled out of the garbage, 唱歌 her own little tune of gratitude.
"Thank 你 Skipper Man,
I don't think I can
Explain how important it was
That 你 stopped the van
I would be splattered,
I'd be crushed into Debris,
Thank 你 sir for saving me"
"Don't worry about it." 说 Col. Skipper, banging Horrible's Head against the van's bumper.
(AN: Each piece on the same line is sung at the same time. I'm sorry if this confuses anybody)
Col. Skipper/Marlene/Prof. Horrible
A man's gotta do what a
Man's gotta do/You came from above/Are 你 kidding?
Seems destiny ends/ /what heist were 你
With me saving you/I wonder what you're/watching? Stop looking
When you're the best,/Captain of/at her like that
你 can't rest,/ /Did 你 notice that he
What's the use?/My 心 is beating like/Threw 你 in the
There's 屁股 needs kicking/A drum/Garbage?
Bomb to defuse/Must be in shock/I stopped the van. The
The only doom/ /remote control was in
That's looming is you/Assuming I'm not/My Hand
Loving me to death/loving 你 to death/ Whaaateeeverrr
So, please give me a sec/So please, give me a sec
To catch my breath/To catch my breath
While the Colonel and Marlene were busy falling for each other, Professor Horrible snuck into the back of the 面包车, 范 and made off with the Wonderflonium. "Balls!" He muttered as he crept off to his lair unnoticed.
END ACT I
ACT II COMING SOON