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posted by Seanthehedgehog
At the C.I.E headquarters in Canterlot.

Con: Hello P, what do 你 need me to do?
P: That depends, what do 你 know about a 小马 named Hattan Scaramanga.
Con: I know that she has a really powerful gun, and can kill anypony with just one shot. Why?
P: She has plans to kill you.
Con: Well that can't be good.
P: 你 need to go to Hong Kong, and kill her, before the opposite happens.
Con: Kill her? I don't know if I wanna kill her.
P: She is a threat, and must die.
Con: Fine. *leaves room*
Moneybit: Hello Con.
Con: Hi Miss Moneybit, where is Hong Kong?
Moneybit: In China.
Con: And where is China?
Moneybit: Very far from Equestria, on the opposite side of the pacific ocean to be exact.
Con: Oh great.
P: Ach, I almost forgot. This bullet has 0007 engraved in it, and I want 你 to bring it to S.
Con: What is he going to do with it?
P: Examine it.
Con: Oh thank celestia, I thought he was going to put it in a gem sandwich, and eat it.
P: NIEN! Why would he do that?
Con: I don't know, I'll ask him.

In S's lab

Con: Where's S?
lab expert: Over there.
S: Con? What's up?
Con: P wanted me to bring this to you.
S: A bullet? What for?
Con: She wants 你 to examine it, see what gauge it is.
S: Hmm. *examines bullet*
lab expert: *working on grenade launcher*
Con: Woah that's cool!
lab expert: *accidentally launches grenade* Damnit, Con, stop playing around!
S: I'm back
Con: What gauge is it?
S: 你 might not believe this, but it's a 4.1 millimeter gauge.
Con: I wonder who makes that.
S: You'll have to check the gun shops.

So that's what Con did, in the 下一个 part.
added by TimberHumphrey
"Can't picture 你 as a bat" damn 你 and your teasing, Hasbro!
video
added by TimberHumphrey
added by TimberHumphrey
added by TimberHumphrey
added by ChevalNoir
added by fffvvt
Source: pika so good
added by pesikie
Twilight: I don't know what happened that led 你 to make your village without cutie marks, and I'm sorry my 老友记 and I had to take it away.

Starlight: (angrily) 你 want to know what happened to me?! I'll 显示 you!

SOON AFTER:

Starlight: Because of his cutie mark! He got his, and I didn't! He moved on, and I didn't! I stayed here and never made another friend because I was too afraid another cutie mark would take them away, too!

Twilight: That's ridiculous. A cutie mark can't take your 老友记 away.

Starlight: Not everybody's lucky enough to get her cutie mark at the same time as her friends!...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
As the group of 超能英雄 made it upstairs, Sean had a plan.

Sean: Charmy, 你 go with Knuckles, and find two boats for us.
Charmy: 你 got it.
Knuckles: We'll go find them for you. *Flies off the 船, 小船 with Charmy*
Sean: Dash, take these. *Gives her time bombs* Put these around the hall. Vector, and Mighty, 你 go with her.
Vector: Roger.
Sean: The rest of 你 on me. *Walks towards Sonic*

Rainbow Dash was planting one bomb on a wall, when Twilight appeared.

Twilight: Well well well, look who we have here.
Rainbow Dash: Twilight Sparkle. You're still working for Eggman?
Twilight: Fuck yeah man,...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
At a station marked Zweibrucken, Labiche was driving 45 miles an hour.

Schmidt: *Sees the station they are passing, and marks their current location on a map* We are 首页 at last. We are in Germaneigh.

But they were really in Vitry Le Francois

Ponies: *Removing the station signs*

Next morning in Rive-Reine, Maurice was watching two ponies in a locomotive half a mile away from him.

Railroad 小马 92: *Blows the whistle as he drives forward*
Maurice: *Watching the train go faster, and faster*

It was going too fast, and once it got on the mainline, it derailed. The tracks were blocked.

Maurice:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
At the 比萨, 比萨饼 parlor.

Waiter: Jim, 你 got a call.
Jim: Okay. *Walks to phone, and picks it up* Hello?
Sam: It's Sam. Those Mexicans are dead. They crashed, and kill their selves.
Jim: Dammit. 下一个 time we get attacked 由 these illegal immigrants, try to find out who their leader is.
Sam: Yes sir. *Hangs up, then goes to Case Cracker* Okay, Jim 说 下一个 time we get attacked 由 those immigrants, we need to find out who their leader is. Let's go see how Gordon's doing.
Case Cracker: Okay. He should be at the hospital 由 now. *Drives to the hospital*
Sam: *Thinking* I have a hunch that I might know...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con returned to Canterlot for the breifing of his new assignment.

Con: *Waiting 由 P's office*
Miss Moneybit: He'll see 你 now.
Con: He won't be seeing me soon. Pinkie Pie might return and take P's spot.
Miss Moneybit: I wouldn't mind that.
Con: *Goes into P's office*
P: Good to see you're still alive 0007. What do 你 know about alicorns?
Con: They are either 独角兽 with wings, of pegasi with horns. Unfortunately, most ponies do not like their kind, because they believe that they're overpowered.
P: That is precisely what you're up against. An alicorn 由 the name of Ice Cube has created her...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Case Cracker's car
Case Cracker's car
Blazin' Blue, Saten Twist, Ryan, Night Frizz, and NocturnalMirage got away from Master Sword, and Sean. Just as soon as they got out of Baltimare, they saw a car towing an open trailer with gascans, and ponies standing 由 them. The car towing this trailer was driven 由 Case Cracker.

Ryan: What kind of a car is that?
Mirage: I don't know mate. It looks Italian though, that's all I can tell you.
Saten Twist: *Looks inside car* Son of a bitch, he has a walkie talkie.
Case Cracker: Yo, what's up guys?
Blazin' Blue: Not much. How are you?
Case Cracker: Good. Where 你 headin?
Ryan: Fillydelphia.
Case...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, deviantart, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, joyreactor