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posted by KishuandIchigo
Is He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named back?
On the 16 of August, at midnight, Harry Potter saw visions of You-Know-Who coming back, alive. We couldn't believe it, and we went straight to the sorce to do an interview.

Bob (Interviewer): So Harry, what was your vision like?
Harry: Well, I saw Voldemort, I mean he was making... a potion
Bob: Of what?
Harry: I don't know.
Bob: Why aren't 你 at Hogwarts?
Harry: That's kinda off topic...
This has been a Quibbler interview.

˙ɥ puɐ s + sǝlʞɔıs 01 ˙ʞɹoʍ ʎllɐnʇɔɐ suoıʇod ¡uıʍ oʇ uɐɔ noʎ sɐ ʇsɐɟ sɐ sʇuɐıpǝɹƃuı ǝɥʇ ɟo llɐ uı xıɯ ¡ǝɯɐƃ pɹɐoq uoɹplnoɔ ¡ʍǝu

ɥ puɐ s + sǝlʞɔıs 001 ¡ǝƃunoʇǝlsɹɐd ʞɐǝds oʇ uɹɐǝl puɐ 'ƃuıʎɐs ǝɹɐ sǝʞɐus ʇɐɥʍ ɹɐǝɥ ¡ɹǝʇɐlsuɐɹʇ ǝʞɐus ¡ʍǝu
posted by KishuandIchigo
The Quibbler

The History of 牛奶 and Other Potions
Milk, as 你 know, was found 由 wizards. It all started when a wizard named Jonas Milk, who made a bone strengthening potion. He was finishing the potion, when he had to attend a wedding. His butler took the potion, tasted it, and sold it. Luckily, 牛奶 left out the final ingrediant, if he finished it, the wizarding world would be in peril.

˙ʞɔɐq ǝɯɐɔ ʇɹoɯǝpןoʌ ʍɐs ǝɥs ɟı 'op pןnoʍ ǝɥs ʇɐɥʍ ʇnoqɐ uoıʇɔıɟ ǝpɐɯuɐɟ ɐ ǝq ןןıʍ ǝɹǝɥʇ 'uoıʇıpǝ ʇxǝu ɹno uı
¡uoıʇɔıɟ uɐɟ

¡suoǝןןɐb 03 ʎןuo ¡sɹoןoɔ puɐ sǝzıs ןןɐ ¡ǝןɐs ɹoɟ sǝɯoub uǝpɹɐb
¡ǝɯoub ɐ ʎnq
Harry: Hey, Ron!
Ron: What's up?
Harry: The sky.
Ron: Well, of course, Harry! What ELSE is up?
Harry: Hmm... There are clouds, planets, different universes, stars, dementors that can fly really high, birds...
Ron: O.o
**Harmione walks in**
Harmione: 嘿 guys. I have some amazing news for you!
Ron: What is it? Is there another evil wizard for us to spend years trying to destroy, while all the time his soul was 分裂, 拆分 into multiple horcruxes that we have to destroy before killing him?
Harmione: Umm.. No. But I found out this new spell that lets 你 brainwash whoever 或者 whatever 你 want!
Harry: Get out...
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posted by luv_warriorcatz
KEY HAS BEEN STOLEN

The black key that has been left in askaban and claimed 由 the ministry has been stolen. It was in a glass case and the whole glass case was gone not just shattered. The glass case was located at the where the special objects has been stored. We highly suspect dina morana although it is impossible how she could have broken inside the ministry and stolen it without us detecting her. So we suspect the wizard lord voldemort the 秒 greatest wizard of our time. We have set extra security forces so he will not some back to us. So far we have no idea what use it is though it...
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9 years old

Mom was telling cathy and dina of her adventures when she had the false nickname "Rachel Laverne". Some of them were really intersting. Some of them were really far-fatched. Like the bit about when she killed a basilsk with just a leaf. They asked why she had a false name. She 说 to make it 更多 intersting. She told of a place where immortality would be foun along with some 图片 that were never seen before. Cathy didnt belive a word of it. Dina however was hooked. "How do we get to that place?" Mom told us to wait for a moment. She hurried upstairs and returned with a black key....
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DINAS CHARACTER WILL BE BASED ON A CHARACTER I MADE UP FOR A BOOK I WILL 发布 SO IF 你 SEE A CHARACTER ON A BEST-SELLING BOOK AND SHE SOUNDS FAMILIAR, THAT BOOK WAS WRITTEN 由 ME SO DONT THINK THE 作者 偷了 IT OFF OF 潮流粉丝俱乐部 CAUSE THAT 作者 IS GONNA BE ME

7 years old

Cathy was playing with a bunch of cards. Dina was playing with fireworks in the backyard. "isnt 火, 消防 pretty dangerous?" asked cathy shufflin them. "They're really fun, look!" A 淋浴 of sparks and part od the ground set on fire. "MOM!"

"Now Dina, 你 know if 你 set the ground on fire, my 花 will die." Mom was scolding...
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posted by luv_warriorcatz
There has been a massive explosion at britain, cumbia at a park. Many people were burned and died and some people clamed to hav saw a shadowy figure pointing a "stick" at them. This proves to be a work of a wizard/witch. The motive for this act is unknown. Perhaps he/she wanted to kill someone at the park. But if they wanted to do that, then they would have done it personally instead of blowing up the whole place. Maybe she/he wanted to terminate the place for whatever reason. Whatever the motive is, this person will sure be coming to askaban. How to catch this person I have no idea for this...
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posted by KishuandIchigo
Willy Wonka Discovered Wizard
Willy Wonka, 浓情巧克力 maker, is actually a wizard. He has been hiding it for years, and left no evidence, but one day, at an interview, an oompa loompa learned english and squealed to us that he uses magic. Willy Wonka makes 浓情巧克力 and cany that has been bewitched, and amuses muggles, like 糖果 that never dissappears, gum that lets 你 blow giant bubbles. And after the muggles found out, the Wizarding world is in peril, and there have also been sightings, and killings, of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Is Harry Potter Mental?
A picture was taken of Harry Potter, cursing...
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posted by luv_warriorcatz
BREAKOUT FROM ASKABAN

There has been a breakout from askaban. 12 年 old Dina Morana, who has been accused of setting fires on building and trying to blow up the gringotts bank, has been missing from her cell with a large hole gapin out. We dont know how she manadged to escape from a great height. We have searched throught he morana family an found no sight of her. "It seems basicaly impossible that a 12 年 old could have escaped from the cell herself. Someone must have helped her," 说 fudge. The only hint of the escape was a black key left behind. It seems rusted with age. We have interoggated...
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