DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A MILEY FAN! I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A FUN SONG TO PARODY, ESPECIALLY SINCE WE BOTH DON'T LIKE MILEY, AND WE WANTED A SONG WE THOUGHT MOST PEOPLE WOULD HAVE HEARD

A Pardoy Of "Can't Be Tamed", from the point of view of Bellatrix. I always thought she had a "Can't be Tamed" Attitude, XD
Big thank 你 to PaulInDaHood, for helping me write this.

For those who don't know me, I am insa-ane
Crucio-ing muggles every day
'Cause it's fun doing that
Everyone everywhere screams whenever I come by
'cause they know they're gonna die,
'Cause I kill like that

I crucio people 'till they're dead...

**Summary: Set during New Moon, Alice has a vision of Bella jumping off the cliff, but instead of going to Italy, Edward tried to kill himself in various Muggle ways. Humor**

CHAPTER ONE

Edward Cullen sat on the 长椅, 沙发 moping. The Cullens had moved to New York after leaving Forks, but Edward didn't care. He hadn't gone out once, and sat on the 长椅, 沙发 depressed and moping all the time.
He sighed as he sat on the 长椅, 沙发 wondering if Bella even remembered what he looked like anymore. 或者 how he sparkled.
CRASH! He turned, temporarily snapped out of his self-pity and depression.
Alice had just dropped...

Credit: link. I didn't write it myself.

"I like taking pointless 脸谱 surveys as much as the 下一个 person. But, since they’re mostly about kissing, I started to wonder how someone completely incapable of feeling 爱情 might handle such things. So I just had to tag my good pal Lord Voldemort in my most 最近的 survey. Here's what he had to say:

Was your last 吻乐队（Kiss） standing up, sitting down, 或者 lying down?
The only 吻乐队（Kiss） I believe in is the Dementor's kiss, and as I have very little soul remaining in my withered husk of a body, one would have little effect on me.

Whose 床, 床上 were 你 on last?
Nagini's,...