DAVID LYNCH: LIFE COACH 

The director tells Laura Brown that living well is as easy as pie.

Apart from David Lynch\'s mind, there are few things greater than David Lynch\'s voice. "Hallaww?" he says over the phone from Los Angeles, where he is plotting the new series of 

 to debut on Showtime next year. "See you again in 25 years," Laura Palmer said back in 1991, and damnit if they won\'t do exactly that.

"Many things happen that we don\'t know the significance of until a little bit later," Lynch explains. "So it happened that there was a scene where Laura said to Special Agent Dale Cooper, \'I\'ll see you again in 25 years.\' And, lo and behold, it\'s coming pretty close to being true." Is it kismet? "No, no, no," he says enigmatically. "It\'s part of the big show." "David, I want you to know that when I was in high school, people used to call me Laura Palmer," I add helpfully. "Everyone would yell at me, \'Wrapped in plaaaastic.\' " "Huh," Lynch says. "It kind of made your life more interesting." Lynch makes everything more interesting. While I\'m thrilled about 

 it\'s how to live a Lynchian life that most intrigues me. How Lynch reconciles his famed orderliness—the same lunch every day for years, for example—with his deep dive into the sea of Transcendental Meditation.

"That\'s the whole thing," he says. "You have a foundation you can leap off and go to any place you want. If your life is really scattered, there\'s not a lot of time to sit and let the mind go freely. But if you can meditate and expand that consciousness each time you transcend, you catch ideas at a deeper level, you have more energy, more intuition, more comprehension." He warms up. "And it\'s amazing because you get more and more creative—you find ways to solve problems. That creativity within is an ocean of solutions to our problems. Things start getting better and better."

Like an orderly, delicious lunch: "Okay. I did a salad for months, but now it\'s a cooked lunch; rice and daland cooked vegetables. Because I\'ve heard that the midday meal should be our biggest meal. And I\'m trying to eat dinner earlier, just a little chunk of dinner." Wine? "Bordeaux red wine." Dessert? "I do like cherry pie. I really love cherry pie." "You are so on brand," I say, suggesting that he start the first day of shooting 

 with a slice. "Hmm, maybe so," he ponders. "I haven\'t had a piece for ages." Lynch famously compares ideas to catching fish. "We don\'t have an idea until it pops into the conscious mind. Then it makes itself known to you, and you say, \'Oh, my goodness!\' " He also doesn\'t mind eating them, though (fish, not ideas). "I like Dover sole meunière, and I like salmon." Now there\'s a fighting fish. "I\'ve seen salmon swimming upstream," he says, "and, man, are they torn up. They are such champions. They\'re ragged, and they\'re just fighting up this white rapids and stones and rushing water. It\'s really heroic what they go through."

Speaking of heroes, back to me. I mean, I live in New York City. So what should I do to calm down? "Well, first, I hate the word \'calm,\' " Lynch says. "It makes me puke! It\'s in the neighborhood of worthless!" Oh. "What you should do as a young girl going about New York is learn Transcendental Meditation as taught by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Get this technique and use it to dive within, and transcend, and experience that unbounded ocean of consciousness. Then you\'re going to get all you need for a beautiful life."

Lynch notoriously never explains the meaning of his films (much to the chagrin of anyone who\'s seen 

), but how about the meaning of life? "To get infinitely happy," he says swiftly. "To get infinitely blissful." Okay, David Lynch, I\'m going to try this transcendental thing, because it\'s clearly worked for you. "Can you sit on the phone and talk to me for the rest of my life?" I ask.

"Sure, Laura," he replies. "Let\'s talk to AT&T about setting that up."

This article originally appeared in the February issue of Harper\'s BAZAAR. 

Getty Images; iStock; Laura Brown photo by Jennifer Livingston

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