My fear is that my cousin in the military is going to get hurt. I love him so much, and it's so hard. I just got a call from him, and it was great, but...it re-awakened the fear that he's going to get hurt. I couldn't handle it. I can barely handle it now. He's not really even my cousin, more like my brother. When I would go to Louisiana where my aunt lives, he would wait on the porch for me to drive up. The first day I'd be there, we would spend the whole day together, just the two of us. He taught me how to ride horses, how to fish, and how to hunt. He taught me not to be afraid of the outdoors. He taught me to be strong when others would tease me or hurt me. He taught me how to stand up for what I know to be right. Whenever I would need him, he would be there. I could call him at 4 a.m., and he would answer. He'd never get angry. He's the one I went to when my ex tried to rape me. He's the one I went to when I started to cut. He's the one I went to when everyone found out, and started calling me the "cutter slut". I cannot bear the thought of him getting hurt, or dying. It scares me to no end. Please, I just need someone to help. I'm so scared, and sad. I love him so much. I can't put into words how I feel about him. He's everything to me. Everything. How do I deal with this over-whelming fear?