I'm afraid to get close to God.

I agree with what tiagih said.

A relationship with God is a happy, peaceful, and loving relationship. 你 were caught in a hard time, and I think what 你 may be feeling is a bit of guilt. Forgive me if I'm wrong. 你 might be feeling guilty for cutting yourself. Of course, it's not a particular "sin," but God doesn't approve of cutting because He wants 你 to come to Him in your times of trouble and grief.

Go to church, listen to Christian music, talk to a pastor, and keep yourself regulated. Thank God for the things He's blessed 你 with. He's not a hard-core, menacing God wielding a whip and shouting bloody murder everytime someone disobeys Him.

He's a fatherly figure. He wants what's best for you. He is your Protector, your Strong, Right Hand, your Salvation, and your Savior. He's never going to push 你 away, even though 你 may do so sometimes. He will always 爱情 you. No matter what 你 may do, He is always ready to forgive 你 if 你 提交 to Him and ask Him to get rid of the sin conflicting with your soul.

There will be times when 你 feel isolated from God. It's called spiritual warfare. That's when Satan tries to grab a hold of your weakness and drag 你 down into disbelief.

Don't let that happen. Ask God for strength, and 你 can accomplish anything. Let Him be your dad.

Before I 评论 I want 你 to try and read the bible on what it takes about when God "part" of your 或者 when 你 "feel" him. I can't say what 你 feeling is 或者 isn't of God but I can tell 你 from my experience it is nothing but true happiness being in his presence. Its so peaceful and 你 feel warm and 安全 for that moment.
What 你 may be feeling is God getting rid of your demons that could posses 你 to sin. When demons posses our lives and God comes to get rid of them, it doesn't always feel comfortable. Imagine trying to 泵 your stomach of alcohol that is what it is when God is purging us of our demons, and that is what I think is happening to you.

It will feel weird at first since it is the process of purging, but once its over and your a new and "born again" person, I can assure 你 that 你 will feel 100% better. Just keep the faith and fulfill all righteousness because I think God is trying to "clean" your soul so he can us 你 for something for his good will and pleasure.

If 你 don't understand what I am saying let me know

Idk but I am afraid to get close to him because will all my fears come true 或者 no if I’m still afraid 或者 will he just fake it away