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Severing relationship with my father even though he has financial authority over me?

I am 21 years old and just graduated from college. Long story short, my dad, while he loves me, is extremely controlling, condescending and emotionally manipulative. He completely changed 4 years 以前 after moving in with my stepmom (and is in denial about it), and every time I 或者 someone else has tried to talk to him, he gets furious, 或者 just devalues what we say and nothing changes. He has had financial authority over me all this time, and any time I say 或者 do something that displeases him in the slightest (things that wouldn't even matter to a normal person), he goes ballistic and threatens to cut off all my funding, and takes me on guilt trips and makes me feel like a terrible person ("Do 你 have any idea how hard I work to provide for 你 all? This is the thanks I get for all I've done for you?" etc). My anxiety levels have been killing me because of him. He puts ridiculous rules in place like forcing me to call every night since I live in a different city otherwise he shuts my phone off, I have to get permission to do certain things despite being an adult, etc.
All this time I've just had to go along with it in order to survive and not end up on the streets. However, now that I've graduated, he has less control over my finances. I can afford housing and basic bills with the job I have, and if I had to pay my phone bill I could manage. He's mad at me once again right now because I went to my hometown to pick things up from my mom's house without his permission, and I'm at the point where I literally can't take it anymore and want to just call him and end the relationship. However, I know that in doing so I'll also have to find my own health insurance and I'm worried I won't get approved for anything 或者 be able to afford it. I'm also worried that he might somehow have authority over something else that I'm not aware of.
Even if all goes okay in practical terms and if I don't have much to lose, he still has a way of making people terrified of him and in seemin
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(Cont.) seeming all wise, like he's always right in arguments (and is extremely convincing, as he is a very intelligent person). It could also mean he prevents me from having relationships with my siblings. I've been 写作 out scripts and rehearsing everything in my head, but can't work up the courage to actually do it. Sorry this was so long, but I really need some advice.
xWiildfiire posted 一年多以前
 xWiildfiire posted 一年多以前
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建议 答案

sarabeara said:
I'm sorry you're going through this, bb :/ It sounds like a horrible situation where you're sort of trapped, and I can't even imagine how much you've been through over the years.

With that being said, I wouldn't sever ties with him just yet. If 你 need him for his health insurance and other finances, that's quite a big deal still. Life can change in an instant, and not having health insurance could leave 你 in crazy amounts of debt if anything went wrong. I'd say not to cut ties until 你 get a job that provides health insurance. And the 秒 你 do, get that toxic man out of your life and talk to your estranged siblings.

I realize this might not be the 建议 你 want, and were hoping for a "be independent!" answer, but leaving the nest before you're financially capable just doesn't seem like the smart thing to do. However, if it comes to the point where 你 just can't take it anymore, I wouldn't blame 你 one bit for cutting him out. Mental health is just as important as physical health.

If 你 ever need someone to rant 或者 to talk to, I'm always here. And I really mean that. I'm always here to listen. :) Wishing 你 all the luck and sending good vibes your way!
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posted 一年多以前 
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Thanks so much for your response :) I think if need be I should be able to afford a super cheap plan like AHCCCS, assuming I get approved. But 你 make a good point and so that's why it's a tough decision. I'd 爱情 to talk to my siblings honestly about it, but I feel that 由 now he's warped their thinking so much so they're on his side :/
xWiildfiire posted 一年多以前
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Yeah, if it's not 安全 to talk to your siblings without it getting back to your dad, definitely wait until you're free from his control to do so.
sarabeara posted 一年多以前
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