I literally just wake up crying. And with a headache, and my throat feels clogged, and it's awful. I just don't feel like doing anything. I wish I didn't have college 或者 work sometimes, because I hate doing anything when I'm not feeling well.
Why? 你 may wonder. Why is he feeling this way?
Because I feel alone sometimes. As much as 你 may think you're all surrounding me with love, the one person that means the most to me: I talk to him the least. And it hurts. Because I 爱情 him. A lot. And when he's not around, I literally feel so fucking lost. There was one time where I almost completely failed a physics exam because I didn't understand anything. I hadn't talked to him in three days and I was like "What the hell is dimensional analysis?"; something I actually happen to excel at.
I just wish I could fly over to California, just to say "Hi, I 爱情 you." But I can't. And don't get me wrong, it's not that he just deletes me from his life. He makes sure to tell me he loves me. I just feel so empty sometimes.
And I have ANOTHER therapist because I have having severe anxiety issues, but I feel like even he can't help me. He listens to me and all, and he gives good advice, but he's not my boyfriend, and he never will be.
I feel like I can't find my place without him, and it's the worst feeling in the world.
I 爱情 him 更多 than anything, but I'm just so sad.
