From an email. Just for fun!!

This is a test for Highly Intelligent People.....I have determined that 你 qualify. The following short 测试 consists of 4 问题 and will tell 你 whether 你 are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The 问题 are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL 你 have answered the question!

1. How do 你 put a giraffe into a refrigerator?








Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This 问题 tests whether 你 tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.


2. How do 你 put an elephant...

More emails.

Best "out of office" 电子邮箱 responses:

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to 你 if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. 你 are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are 你 wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and 心 removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to 删除 all the emails 你 send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will...

More emails!

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give 更多 than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving 更多 than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants 你 to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help 你 answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K l M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11...

From another 电子邮箱 I received. Just for fun!



EMPLOYEE MEMO


Dress Code

1. It is advised that 你 come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see 你 wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume 你 are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.

2. If 你 dress poorly, 你 need to learn to manage your money better, so that 你 may buy nicer clothes, and therefore 你 do not need a pay raise.

3. If 你 dress just right, 你 are right where 你 need to be and therefore 你 do not need a pay raise.


Sick Days

We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof...

From an email...

Not that this would ever happen to any of us!
10 best things to say if caught sleeping at your desk.
Just in case 你 ever need a quick excuse:

10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 分钟 power nap they raved about in the time management course 你 sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the 最佳, 返回页首 of the Whiteout off. 你 probably got here just in time! Thanks!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing...