So whenever I hear someone describe something that is weird as, “Wow, what kind of drugs were they taking when they made this”, I just groan. I always hated the whole criticism of how something weird must be related to drugs 或者 any other illegal substance, and that there is nothing creative 或者 thought provoking into the madness. Now, is there anything thought provoking about Katamari Damacy? …. Eeeeehhh.
So Katamari Damacy is not really a drug trip, but 更多 of a… case of being Japanese. After the King of All Cosmos (Yes, that’s his name) destroys all the stars in the sky after a drunken binge, he tasks his son, The Prince, to take a ball known as a Katamari to earth and roll up things on earth to create new stars in the sky. It’s a very, very simple game. Hell, if not for the challenge, it would be less of a game and 更多 of a digital toy. But man, for a simple idea, it works super well and it becomes an addictive experience. The game is very simple. Start out as a small ball and roll things up. If there is something bigger than you, 你 cannot roll it up, at least not yet. So what 你 do is continue to roll up smaller things until your Katamari gets bigger and bigger. Then, when it’s big enough, come back and roll up the thing that was giving 你 a hard time before. Eventually, you’ll be able to roll up living creatures, which is real damn satisfying. As 你 start out small, 猫 and small kids will start kicking 你 around and knocking parts off your Katamari like the fuckers they are. So what 你 do is 你 get big, get huge, and come back and enact righteous vengeance on them, rolling them up into your Katamari and increasing the size as a result. Keep doing that until the timer runs out and hope your Katamari is big enough to impress The King and 移动 on to the 下一个 level. Like I said, very simple, but a ton of fun. Eventually, 你 unlock other challenges, like rolling up specific things like crabs and fish, rolling up the biggest of one specific item like a 熊 或者 cow and any one 你 roll up ends the challenge. Then there’s the 10 Meter challenge, where 你 get no sign of how big your Katamari is, and 你 decide when the Katamari is 10 Meters EXACTLY. But don’t get too big 或者 dad will be mad. But the final level is where the true fun kicks in. Rolling up people was impressive at first, but now, 你 can start rolling up buildings since the last level. Can we do more? Yes we can! We can roll up tanker ships. We can roll up skyscrapers, whole stadiums, clouds, Godzilla, mountains, God himself, everything! It’s madness. I 爱情 it. And last, there’s the soundtrack, which is fun to hear. I don’t understand a lick of it, but it sounds like it’s got some rhythm and beat to it. 你 got the classic Katamari on the Rocks, but then 你 got my favorite, Lonely Rolling Star. All classics from the soundtrack.
Katamari Damacy is such a fun game. Simple and easy to get into, and can be beaten in a day, but the time 你 spend with it is so much fun that I can’t help but just go through 更多 levels. There’s no serious challenges, no underlying themes of existentialism that I usually find in my games, it’s just a good time and I feel better for playing it. And I hope that everyone can experience this level of joy, because Katamari Damacy truly is an experience.
Tingle: Oh, hello aga-
Link: GIVE ME THE FUCKING MAP
Tinge: Well, lets see (Counts bag of rupees) Well, it seems to be about right. Here is your map
Link: GREAT! HOW MUCH MAPS DO I NEED LEFT
Tingle: Hmm...... About four
Link: THANK 你 (Leaves)
King of Red Lions: So, where is the 下一个 Triforce shard
Link: ON SOME STUPID ISLAND
King of Red Lions: Then let us be off
Link: GOOD IDEA
King of Red Lions: ......Um...... Why are 你 still yelling. You've been doing that ever since we left the Wind Temple
Link: I TOLD YOU! I'M REALLY FUCKING PISSED
King of Red Lions: Oh right
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: GIVE ME THE FUCKING MAP
Tinge: Well, lets see (Counts bag of rupees) Well, it seems to be about right. Here is your map
Link: GREAT! HOW MUCH MAPS DO I NEED LEFT
Tingle: Hmm...... About four
Link: THANK 你 (Leaves)
King of Red Lions: So, where is the 下一个 Triforce shard
Link: ON SOME STUPID ISLAND
King of Red Lions: Then let us be off
Link: GOOD IDEA
King of Red Lions: ......Um...... Why are 你 still yelling. You've been doing that ever since we left the Wind Temple
Link: I TOLD YOU! I'M REALLY FUCKING PISSED
King of Red Lions: Oh right
TO BE CONTINUED