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posted by windwakerguy430
Man: Come on, girl. Don’t be like that
*A skinny man with ratty hair were standing in front of a woman at a bar. She had been doing her best to ignore them, but they had decided to sit at the table, doing what they could to get her attention*
Woman: I told 你 to go away
Man: Aw, come on. Why don’t we go and have some fun. Who knows, 你 may just like what I got for you, babe
*The woman struck the man across the face with a slap. The man only chuckled as he punched the woman across the face, sending her to the floor*
Man: I tried to be a nice guy, but 你 just had to be a stupid bitch!
*As he got up to grab her, a man stepped in between him and the woman. The man wore a striped black and white 衬衫 underneath an open black leather 夹克 and black trousers. His black hair was shiny with hair gel. He kept his hands in his pocket as he looked at the man*
Greaser: We got a problem here?
Man: Why don’t 你 fuck off before 你 get hurt
Greaser: It don’t work that way, buddy. I suggest 你 step on out of here
*The man didn’t hesitate to throw a fist at the greaser. It came fast, but the greaser grabbed hold of it with ease, before twisting his arm and sending him crashing to the floor. He picked him up and dragged him outside of the bar.*
Man: G-get the fuck off me, 你 goddamn punk piece of shit!
*As the greaser led him outside, at least two other greasers walked outside, following the two to an alleyway. Once he was thrown at the back of the alley, the three greasers started to beat him violently, kicking him, punching him, and even cutting him. As the man was thrown against the wall, he coughed before looking up at the greasers, his face a combination of red and blue before he spoke up*
Man: Who… Who the fuck are 你 people?
Greaser: We’re the Jailhousers. Don’t forget, asshole
*The greaser lifted his foot and kicked the man in the face, knocking him unconscious before they returned to the bar*

*Mikey was pouring a glass for himself. He was far too stressed, and needed another drink. As he was pouring one for himself, he heard a familiar female voice*
Female: 你 don’t always drink on the job, do you?
*Mikey turned to see Sally again, sitting at the counter of the bar*
Mikey: Hey, didn’t expect to see 你 again so soon
Sally: Well, what can I say. I just need a place to spend my time
Mikey: The usual?
Sally: Yes, please.
*She gave Mikey a glowing smile before he turned to prepare her drink*

*Johnny sat in the meeting room with a few of his men. His hands were covering his mouth and his legs were shaking in anticipation for any word on what was going on. His eyes turned from one person to another, hoping they had something*
Johnny: What do any of 你 got? Tom?
*Tom Dooley looked up, scratching the back of his head as he was asked, before he responded* W-Well, I’ve been bribing the police like 你 said, but they told me they had no leads on the matter
Johnny: Fucking useless cops. Can’t count on them for nothing. What about ol’ Nate Cole?
*At the mention of Nate, another man walked into the room. He gave a smile through his closed eyes, one of them with a scar on it*
Johnny: You’re late again, Mambo
Mambo: My bad, Johnny. I just had some last 分钟 business. As 你 know, spying isn’t an easy job
Johnny: I guess not. What can 你 tell us?

*Mambo and Mikey were sitting in the corner of Fat Boy Frankie’s Dinner, a 流行的 fast 食物 chain in the area. As Mambo took a bite from his burger, Mikey looked at the ground nervously. Mambo knew he would regret asking, but he gave a sigh and spoke up*
Mikey: What’s wrong, Mike? 你 haven’t touched your Fat Boy Burger. And I’ll be damned if I let a perfectly good burger go to waste
Mikey: It’s nothing. It’s just… Why do I have to be here, Mambo? Why do I have to be apart of the gang life?
Mambo: Cole saw some good in you, and 你 need to pay him back. It isn’t a matter of 你 wanting to join. 你 had no choice in the matter.
*Mikey gave a sigh as he looked up at Mambo*
Mikey: Why are 你 working for Cole?
Mambo: That’s a pretty serious 问题 to be asking someone 你 only met a 月 ago, ain’t it? I joined because I needed money. And I found my talent in killing people. Simple as that
Mikey: Why are 你 so calm about this, Mambo?! You’re a killer
Mambo: Hey, shut the hell up, will you? The last thing we need are people looking at us. Yeah, I kill, okay? It’s just how it is. I’m calm because I’m used to it now. It’s what I do.
*Mikey’s hands were clenched into fists at Mambo’s answer. He looked at the ground, giving a heavy sigh*
Mambo: Hey, Mikey, it’s not 你 who’s a killer. Do 你 remember killing anyone?
Mikey: No, I guess not
Mambo: Exactly. 你 ain’t a killer. You’re just the guy who mans the bar, does deliveries, and all that shit. Okay?
Mikey: Y-Yeah… I guess so
Mambo: Good. Now stop sniffling and eat your burger, will ya?

*Tom and two other men were driving back to the Baddoni office, Tom in the backseat as the others kept talking. Tom wasn’t much of a talker, and he mostly just slept in the back, doing what he could to ignore the conversations of his co-workers. His lack of responsibilities and consideration for others made the rest of the crew hate his guts. The driver looked behind him and at Tom, giving a disgusted expression*
Passenger: Why do we have to deal with this piece of shit
Driver: Maybe we can just kill him and put the blame on Cole
Passenger: Ha! Yeah, maybe we should…. Wait, you’re fucking serious, ain’t you?
Driver: Never been 更多 serious in my life. Tom Dooley’s a stupid, lazy degenerate piece of shit. I heard he came to work here because he killed his wife and just needed a place to work
Passenger: I don’t doubt it. I think maybe tossing this asshole into the river wouldn’t be so bad
Driver: Yeah, I think 你 may be ri-
*The car came to an abrupt stop when the car in front of them had made a sudden stop. The driver, already in a bad mood, honked the horn. The doors of the car in front of them swung open. Two men stepped out, one of them being Mack, his face hidden with a hockey mask as he wore a Jailhouser uniform. Another stepped out of the car, also dressed in a Jailhouser uniform and a hockey mask. The driver stepped out of the car, walking towards them*
Driver: What is this, some stupid 万圣节前夕 shit? I 说 get the fuck outta the wa-
*Mack had already grabbed hold of the machete in his car door and swung it, slicing through the driver’s throat before he fell onto his hands and knees, using his hand to try and stop the intense bleeding. As he was on the ground, Mack lifted the black machete into the hair and swung it into the driver’s skull, killing him instantly before he walked toward the passenger. The passenger reached for the 手套 compartment to grab the gun, only for the car window to be smashed and he was grabbed 由 Mack. He looked the passenger in the eyes, before his eyes darted over to Tom, who was already waking up*
Tom: W-What? What was that sound? Did we hit someth-
*He stopped when he saw Mack holding the passenger*
Passenger: Tom, what the fuck are 你 doing. Shoot him
Mack: So there is another one.
*That was all Mack 说 before he took his hands and jammed his thumbs into the passengers eyes. He screamed in pain as his eyes were gouged out, a stream of blood running down his fat. His feet were sliding viciously across the floor of the car as Mack continued to 果酱 his thumbs into his eyes, before he twisted his arms to the left, snapping his neck and killing him. Mack threw the passenger aside before he turned to Tom. Tom was trying to unlock the car door in an attempt to escape, but stopped once he saw that the other man was at the opposite side. Mack looked at him and spoke*
Mack: 你 get to live for now. Tell Johnny that we’re coming for him
*Tom gripped the car 座位 as he looked at Mack in the eyes. He was terrified. He didn’t dare reach for his gun and try to kill them. He didn’t want to end up like the rest. He just watched as Mack and the other one walked back to their car and drive away. Now free of their eyes, Tom threw the car door open and ran out, running from the scene as fast as he could*

*As Mack drove down the road, looking expressionless, the other man took the mask off, giving a chuckle, revealing himself to be Mambo*
Mambo: Damn good work, Mack. Now we just leave the rest to the war

*Earlier that day, during the meeting with Johnny and Mambo*
Mambo: Well, I can 确认 that Nate Cole had nothing to do with the death of Mr. Baddoni
Johnny: Is that so?
Mambo: That’s right. But I have a feeling that I know who it could be. I think it may be the Jailhousers
Johnny: The Jailhousers? But they’re small time. They only take out a few criminals and degenerates, not crime families
Mambo: Well, it’s just a theory, but maybe they have just decided to start killing Baddoni members. Maybe they saw it as the only way to take down Mr. Baddoni. I could be wrong, of course, but we should at least look into this
*Johnny was tempted to place the blame on them. He shook his head, Tom giving a response before he could answer*
Tom: Johnny, I know 你 want to find your dad’s killer, but we can’t jump to placing the blame on the Jailhousers. It will only start a gang war.
Johnny: 你 think I don’t know that? I know that we can’t… Mambo, can 你 look into this matter more, please? I can’t risk a war
Mambo: Of course, boss. 你 can count on me
*Mambo gave a smile before he turned and walked out, his arms behind his back as he made his way back to the Blue Moon Casino*

*Once Mambo returned to the Blue Moon Casino after the assassination job with Mack, he gave a heavy sigh, wiping his forehead as Cole wheeled his way over to him*
Cole: So what’s the news, Mambo?
Mambo: The Baddoni’s are no doubt going to start trouble with the Jailhousers, Nate. If all goes well, a gang war should start soon. The last thing that Mr. Baddoni would ever want is a war. But his son is an egotistical little fucker. He’ll jump at the chance for to find his dad’s killer, even if that means driving the family business into the ground. It all depends on how much of his men are willing to stick around. If we’re lucky, only a few loyal ones will remain
Cole: Nothing Mack can’t handle, right?
Mambo: Yeah. That’s right.

Domino: 耶稣 Christ
*The sight of the man with missing eyes and a broken neck was enough to make him turn away in disgust. An officer was already getting sick a few feet away, vomiting from the sight. Domino turned away, lighting a cigarette as he leaned against the wall. He looked over at a young man with mousy hair. He looked about nineteen, a young and impressionable kid*
Kid: Mr. Hall!
Domino: Dean, for the last time, I told 你 to call me Domino. Mr. Hall makes me sound like an old man. Would 你 want me to call 你 Mr. Lover?
Dean: Well, if you’d prefer to call me Mr. Lover-
Domino: Okay, shut it now, Dean. Listen, what can 你 make of this crime scene?
Dean: Well, the killer is a real sadist. He seems to take pleasure in murdering people as graphically as possible
Domino: Yeah. But why? What’s the motive, assuming there is one?
Dean: I don’t know, Mr. Ha- Domino. I think we may just be dealing with a real sicko
Domino: Perhaps… But I think this is all the start of something else
Dean: Something else?
Domino: Yeah. I think we should expect something huge soon. New York used to be such a nice place. What the hell happened, Dean? How did we get to this?
Dean: Things just change, I guess
Domino: Perhaps
*Domino gave a long drag on his cigarette, giving a tired sigh as he exhaled smoke from his mouth*

*Johnny was looking through the newspapers, clenching it hard in his fists as he read the headline*
Johnny: Two Gangsters Found Viciously Murdered on Penny Lane! What the fuck is going on!? *As he threw the paper onto the desk, Tom ran into the door, startling the other men inside as he panted heavily. His face was pale, and he was sweating hard as he looked at Johnny*
Johnny: Tom, what’s wrong?
Tom: I-I saw the killer. Snake-Eyes Sammy and Benny the Beast. I was there when they were killed. They were murdered 由 some sort of monster
Johnny: Tom! Calm down and tell us what happened, okay?
Tom: I-It was a Jailhouser
Johnny: … A Jailhouser?
Tom: Yeah. And he said... That we’re coming for Johnny
*Johnny’s eyes widened at the response. His hands tightly gripped the arms of his chair. He stood up, grabbing hold of his bat and striking his desk, before he looked at his men*
Johnny: Mambo!
*Despite everyone’s horror at the revelation, Mambo remained calm during the whole thing*
Mambo: Yes, Johnny?
Johnny: Go and find me a Jailhouser, will you? It’s time we get some interrogation
Mambo: 你 got it, boss
*Mambo stepped out of the meeting room, closing the doors behind him. He couldn’t help but grin. The plan was going perfectly. As he grinned, a voice spoke up behind him*
???: Hey, Mambo. Can I ask 你 something?
*Mambo turned to see the figure of a woman, her arms crossed as she looked at him. Mambo gave a sigh as he turned to see who it was*
Mambo: What do 你 want, Sally? I’m very busy
Sally: Why are 你 working at Blue Moon Casino?
Mambo: Same reason 你 go there. I’m looking into what Nate Cole is doing. I’ve been working there for years, making sure he isn’t up to something stupid.
Sally: 你 were always playing both sides, weren’t you, Mambo
Mambo: Don’t be stupid, Sally. I’m loyal to the Baddoni family. I’ve been working for them for years. I’m not about to become some damn turncoat because of Nate Cole. I’m just telling 你 what it is. Nate Cole had no reason to kill the Baddonis. We run arms dealing, he runs casinos. Besides, the only ones who work for Nate are me and everyone else working in the casino, Sally. Do any of them look like contract killers
Sally: I know you’re a killer though, Mambo. You’ve killed so many for the Baddonis. You’re nothing but a killer
Mambo: And if it’s for the Baddoni Family, the people who have been there for me for years, I’ll kill again and again. 你 better believe that! Listen, King Cole is not the one who killed Mr. Baddoni. So there is no longer a reason to keep spying on them, okay? Now, if we’re done here, I need to go fetch someone for the boss
*Mambo turned and walked down the hall, leaving Sally in thought. She never trusted Mambo. He was always someone who did things his own way and 由 himself. She had no reason to believe him. One thing was for sure for her, there was 更多 to this than just the Jailhousers being responsible.*
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added by Seanthehedgehog
I hope there's a reference to American Graffiti
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posted by windwakerguy430
Wind: (Sitting in class with the other students) So what’s all this about?
Cody: Well, it’s Veteran’s Day. I think the school had something planned
Administrator: Alright, students, listen up. In honor of Veteran’s Day, we have a two very special guests with us. First, let me introduce 你 to Thomas Reynolds
(A man walks into the classroom, carrying an oxygen tank with him)
Administrator: He’s a World War II veteran who fought in Germany. It’s amazing he was able to survive. Anything 你 want to discuss, Mr. Reynolds
Thomas Reynolds: (Takes a breathe from his oxygen mask) I just want...
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LOL! xD and now 你 have 26 million subscribers Pewds!
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Bahahahaha! xD
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Sonic Kart sounds cool.
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任天堂
sega
added by Seanthehedgehog
Oh no. Not again!
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posted by windwakerguy430
(A body lies in a small pool with blood coming out of it)
Cody: (Narrating) I never thought this sort of thing would happen to me

(2 Weeks Earlier)
Cody: (Watches Scarface) Wow… the 80s were fucked
Wind: I don’t know. Our generation isn’t any better. In fact, I think, besides the threat of nuclear war from the Russians, it’s a little worse.
Cody: Still though. All that because he sold cocaine
Wind: Well, it’s a dangerous business after all
Cody: I know… Maybe if he sold something like… cookies, it would have been better
Wind: And probably fucking retarded
Cody: I’m just saying. Things...
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I'm not removing my mask
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posted by windwakerguy430
~Facebook~

Man: Hi, friend
Wind: Uh… do I know you
Man: Of course 你 do. We just met five 秒 ago. Now were the best of friends
Wind: I literally have no idea who 你 are
Man: Oh, you’re a funny guy. Like
Wind: What the hell was that
Man: I just liked your comment
Wind: But, all I did was say a sentence
Man: Like
Wind: Will 你 stop that
Man: Like
Wind: Cut it out
Man: Like
Wind: WILL 你 CUT IT THE F**K OUT
Man: Oh, man. Definitely Dislike

~Twitter~

Man: Hey, I just went to the store and bought some milk
Wind: Good for you
Man: Hey, I just opened the milk
Wind: Uh-huh
Man: Hey, I just drank the milk
Wind:...
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Enjoy two 分钟 of non crashing videos.
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Wind: I’m telling you, right now, Cody. There is no person who has ever lit themselves on 火, 消防 and thought it was a good idea… Except protesters.
Cody: But those youtobe 视频 显示 people doing it all the time.
Wind: Those are just idiots who want to be popular
Miku: (Walks into class, quietly)
Wind: … Something’s not right
Cody: What do 你 mean
Wind: Miku is usually a very loud and obnoxious individual, and now she’s completely quiet
Cody: Really? What should we do
Wind: Simple… Nothing. Now, about those idiots who set themselves for popularity

Wind: (Walking with Cody) No, snorting a...
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Source: erhedfggh
So I have a vague memory of this game. I remember seeing this game in a Game Informer magazine (Yeah, remember fucking gaming magazines) when I was in elementary school. Alongside games like Resident Evil Revelations, 或者 I think, I don’t remember the exact issue, I saw this game on the side and how the reviewer thought it was the most boring game imaginable. So I avoided it for years up until now… and who boy, gaming journalism may be a joke now, but that guy was totally right. The game as developed 由 Vectorcell, known best for 耶稣 Christ Superstar on the IOS. I feel like I’m gonna...
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