windwakerguy430 Article: My 列表 of JonTron 语录

1

posted by Canada24

#1: TITANIC:
Jon: What sorrow, I feel for these characters.. Red haired lady.. Old ladies.. Currently DROWNING human.. And 101 don-..
One hundred and what!?.. One hundred and what now!?…. (camera zooms in on the dog) BONGO!? IS THAT YOU!?

#2: ARE 你 AFRIED OF THE DARK:
Man in movie: (two the little kids he locked in his house) Just answer this riddle. Than I'll let 你 go free.
Jon:TWO KIDS ARE GONNA DIE TONIGHT!!

#3: GOOSEBUMPS:
Jerry: Oh man, 你 and your dumb hobbies!
JonTron: Yeah, fuck 你 for being interested in things, 你 stupid bitch!

#4: TITANIC:
Jon: Wait, it's just a legend? It's just a silly old legend? I thought it was a real thing, like a real 船, 小船 with people on it that sank and they died. I s'pose that means my girlfriend's not real then. I guess there were some signs along the way. [flashback starts] When we were at that restaurant, the waiter, he said, "Why did 你 order two meals and not eat one of them? 你 just left it there to get cold." and I said, "Curb your tongue! That's my lady, and soon she will be departing on the great steam liner known as the 泰坦尼克号 that is definitely a real ship in the real world." and he said, "...Wait, what?"

#5: TITANIC:
Old Man: Here 你 are. Let's hope it's a smooth crossing. (Gives a sinister smile and wiggles his eyebrows)
Jon: Excuse me, uh, the fuck did 你 just say!? Do 你 know something we don't? 你 got something to say? Why so devious? Wait a second... I recognize that voice. You're not really an old man! (He goes up and pulls the guy's head off) I knew it! He was the iceberg all along!

#6: TITANIC:
Jon: There's a where are they now sagment!? I'll tell 你 where they are now, AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FUCKING OCEAN, ARE 你 CRAZY?!?

#7: POKEYMON BOOTLEG:
Jon: Boy, 皮卡丘 dose that leg thing from Sonic 2.. Now 皮卡丘 is turned into a ball, like.. Sonic, the, hedgehog.. Man, that's just Sonic, it's soni- (screaming) IT'S SONIC!!

#8: BANJO KAZOOHI/NUTS AND BOLTS:
Jon: Cars?.. Cars!?.. CAAAAARS!?
Jon: (scream singing) AND IIIIIIIII!!
Jon: (normal) 冬青, 冬青树 SHIT!!
Jon: (scream singing) WILL ALWAYS 爱情 YOOOOOUU!!
Jon: (normal) CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME!? GODDAMMIT!, HOW CAN 你 DO THIS TO ME!?!?

#9: BANJO KAZOOHI/NUTS AND BOLTS:
Jon: I mean, what if after Super Mario World, 任天堂 released a teaser trailer for Super Mario 64, and upon release 日你 are greeted with Mario CITY SIMULATOR!.. And than 你 put in the game, and Shigeru Miyamoto's ghost comes out, and goes "AH FUCKING, WHO LIKE'S THE MARIO GAMES, AM I RIGHT!?".. BYB!.. MAKING LEGEND OF ZELDA, INTO ZELDA MODERN WARFARE!!

#10: GOOSEBUMPS:
Larry: She's really cool.. 你 know, for a girl.
Jon: Wait, THAT'S not in the book.. In the book he describes her as kinda cute.. Oh Larry, your just. Your just a fucking asshole!

#11: GOOSEBUMPS:
JonTron: This fucking humming! That's like the joke voice people do when they're trying to pretend to act natural.
Police Officer: [knocking on door] NYPD! Open up!
[cut to Jon in the bathroom with a giant knife, both him and the 刀 covered in blood, and Jon looking paranoid].
JonTron: Can't a guy get some privacy? (begins to stab away, humming the same song).

#12: BARBIE:
Jon: Hi Barbie. I miss you. It's so quiet after 你 die. There's nothing. But the voices...they never stop. (beat) See 你 in an hour!

#13: POKEYMON BOOTLEG:
JonTron: Now this 下一个 one is actually one of my 最喜爱的 ones. It's called 神奇宝贝 Vietnamese Crystal. Yeah, that's actually what it's called.
Jacques (his pet parrot): That's racist.
JonTron: [turns around to Jacques]
JonTron: Now 你 listen here, pip-pip. A racist mind is a racist kind. You, 你 take that to sleep with 你 tonight cause I know, it's not gonna change hearts and minds in a day. 你 don't give a man a peanut, expect him to have a farm the 下一个 day. But it's aright. It's alright. One day, we will all be equal on this earth. Until then, I'm gonna give 你 a kiss, muffin.
[Jon kisses Jacques on the head]

#14: POOKEYMON BOOTLEG:
Camera man: Where 你 going?
Jon: I'm not doing this, I'm not playing this! 你 only live once!

#15: 食物 FIGHT:
JonTron: Is this like Toy Story rules 或者 is this like, like The 喷泉 rules, where there's no rules?
JonTron: [backing away] Oh God, help us. I think this is 喷泉 rules.

#16: 食物 FIGHT:
JonTron: Let's celebrate. Yeah! Ugly people never win! That's the moral of the story, guys!

#17: 食物 FIGHT:
Jon: Am I dead yet!?

#18: TITANIC:
Jon: (the film is so bad he's pointing a gun at his head) Come on baby, I just want out!

#19: BANJO KAZOOHI/NUTS AND BOLTS:
JonTron: Oh geez. Oh darn it. They got fat.

#20: THE 迷失 WORLD:
JonTron: Jurasstic Park 2 had it all.. Dinosours.. Adventure.. (screaming, and camera shakes) AND JEFF GOLDBLUM!!.. CAN'T FAIL!!

#21:
Jontron: (kills Nostaglia Critc) That's for reviewing 食物 Battle!

Windwakerguy430 likes this

deathding Didn't you just post this in the Random club too? Ah well, nice list regardless. :P

Seanthehedgehog His name's Pongo.

Canada24 I did.. But I wanted to see Wind's reaction

2

What's Your Take - 文章 284 - Under-HAIL

posted by windwakerguy430

For those of 你 wondering what I think the greatest game of 2015 was, since everyone on the planet seems to be talking about it, I would have to say that the best game of that 年 had to be the groundbreaking masterpiece….. Alone in the Dark: Illumination. Oh, and Undertale was a great game to. So, since I obviously can’t review Illumination, we will just have to go with Undertale, as requested 由 Alinah_09. So, let us not waste anymore time (Then again, you’re 阅读 a review 由 me)
Undertale is a game created 由 Toby Fox, who also worked on….. Uh….. All I know is that he worked...

Original Story: Neon City

posted by windwakerguy430

~Story~

In 2275, Earth has become known as the NightLight Planet, as Amethyst City’s thousands of neon signs makes the city extremely bright, making it almost as bright as the sun. This became a beacon for other races on other planets to find Earth and see it’s culture and people. This soon lead to the discovery of alien life on other planets, and it was soon revealed that aliens behave like humans do, with well paying jobs, a perfect economy, a justice system, and similar reproduction methods. However, like humans, some aliens were involved in gang violence, robbery, trafficking, and assassinations....

1

Walking dead sppof.. Chapter 7

posted by Canada24

Quite some time later.

Rick, Daryl and Oscar sneaked into Woodbury, but first they had to sneak past a guy in his own house.

Rick, in a rare moment of intelligence, had an idea saying "I have a quarter in my pocket.. Maybe if I throw it, he might go investigate the noise and we could sneak away.. Not even use violence".

"Good idea.. Quick Rick. Reach into your pocket" Daryl insisted.

Rick reached into his pocket, but forgotten his own idea as he 说 "I don't know where your going with this".

Rick pulled an out quarter out of his pocket.

"Hey! A quarter!" Rick cried happily.

"Quick Rick, Throw it...

CreepySpaghetti: A Parody - Part 2: A God So... Godly?

posted by windwakerguy430

你 died…. What else do 你 want. 你 just died… Okay, fine. 你 then met me, God, of course. Who else is going to narrate this story? Anyway, 你 came to me and said, “Who are you”?
I said, “I am God”?
And 你 said, “So… you’re Sonic.EXE”.
And I said, “... You’re a special kind of stupid”.
And 你 just sat there like a moron. Anyway, I then said, “Well, anyway, I am the actual God, the creator of the world, and so on and so forth. And you’re dead. 你 got in a bad car accident. Smashed your ribs, which mutilated 你 from the inside. Real gross. Blood everywhere. The...

Chapter 9

posted by Canada24

Well.. That's all I got for the story. So.. Here's a BEST OF RICK:

RICK: (first time seeing zombie) My god.. SHE'S SO DRUNK!

RICK: (to Merle while chaining him to pipe) I'm saving you. From yourself.. Look here Merle. When 你 been a "stripper" as long as I have 你 know when 你 met a bad egg.. And your a bad egg.

RICK: (sees the horse he was ridding get eaten and begins freaking out 由表演 like a gorilla).

RICK: The kid needs surgery on his leg.

RANDELL: But I'm fin-

RICK: (shoots Randell in the kneecap) See.. It's getting worse.

RICK: 由 Morgan, hope 你 never try to kill me in the future.

FUTURE:...

1

Detective Smith Episode 1: The Blood Bandit

posted by windwakerguy430

Detective Smith: The 伦敦 Homicide series 1-5

Episode 1: The Blood Bandit

January 4th 12:32 PM 伦敦 Train Station

The large train came to a halt at the railroad in the town. The weather was dark and cloudy, as it was mostly these days. Joseph, a young scholar onboard the train, exited it. He examined the station, and looked around. It was a very quiet and quite dull area. Not much seemed to happen, as people walked off and headed to for their destinations. Joseph let out a sigh and walked over to a man wearing a 最佳, 返回页首 hat, with an odd looking moustache.
Joseph said, “Excuse me, sir, do you...

1

What's Your Take - 文章 102 - Red Dead Redemption's Stranger

posted by windwakerguy430

Now, I 爱情 Red Dead Redemption. It has an amazing open world, lots of activities to do, and a large amount of colorful characters. However, there is one character shrouded in mystery. So mysterious that he is only known as the Stranger.
Now, with an odd character like the Stranger, there were many theories that came up of who he is. There are many theories, but the highest three are that the Stranger is Death, Satan, 或者 God. Now, here's what I think. He is not Death, because well, Death only wants to take people to the 下一个 life, nothing else. So, the fact of him being Death is invalid.
But,...

1

Windwakerguy430's 最佳, 返回页首 Ten Resident Evil Monsters

posted by windwakerguy430

Now, let’s talk about Resident Evil….. I 爱情 Resident Evil. I 爱情 them almost all of them. I 爱情 the first one, the second, the third, especially the fourth, Code Veronica, Zero, Revelations one and two, and even Umbrella Chronicles. Resident Evil 5 and 6 were stupid in my eyes, though. And don’t get me started on Operation Raccoon City. But, with that said, there are still great Resident Evil games. And if there is one good thing about them all, it’s the monsters in them. Resident Evil has many great monsters, even the bad ones. And today, I want to share with 你 all the monsters...

2

Windwakerguy430's 最佳, 返回页首 Ten Video Game Princesses

posted by windwakerguy430

你 know what trend I’m getting kinda tired of? The whole “Princess has been kidnapped, go save her”. I’m not an extremist feminist, but the whole princess thing is kinda getting old. So, naturally, I felt the best thing to do was to make a 列表 of the 最佳, 返回页首 ten best. So, the rules for this 列表 are as followed. Only from games that I have played, and only one game per franchise. So, with all of that 说 and done, let us start the list

#10: Princess Daphne from Dragon’s Lair

Okay…….. This is a bit hard to get behind. What, in the name of god, is this princess wearing. I mean…...

1

Windwakerguy430's 最佳, 返回页首 Fifteen OTHER Hated Cartoon Characters

posted by windwakerguy430

Scrappy Doo

Hey, everyone. windwakerguy430 here… and I did some looking around. After my 最佳, 返回页首 Ten Hated Characters in 动画片 and my 最佳, 返回页首 Ten Hated Characters in 日本动漫 lists, I noticed that there are a LOT 更多 hated characters in 动画片 and anime. So, I decided to make another list. The rules are simple. Rule 1, The characters have to be from shows I watched. Rule 2, only one character per show. Rule 3, I will try to add as little 日本动漫 characters as I can. And Rule 4, no characters from past lists. With that, lets start.

#15: Scrappy Doo fro, Scooby Doo - Wow, the most hated character on other peoples...

Corner of Horror - Episode 84 - Resident Evil VII: Biohazard

posted by windwakerguy430

Alright, everyone, after getting a feel for the game and after being able to experience it at my own 老友记 home, and after hundreds of Youtubers have played it, and after many old 粉丝 are still angry over it despite them wanting the franchise to go back to their horror roots, I will be talking about Capcom’s new horror game. It may have taken a long time to get to it, and it may have made people saltier than the Pacific Ocean, but it’s finally time I talk about this game. Let us all take a look at the return to horror game, Resident Evil 7: Biohazard

So as 你 can see, this game...

The 最佳, 返回页首 100 - #8: NieR: Automata

posted by windwakerguy430

So I played the original NieR some time ago. I liked what I did play, but never got to experience it enough to form a definitive opinion, but man, was that combat not the best. If it was just a little refined, I could like it more… And then Platinum Games came along. And that’s the transition to start talking about NieR: Automata.
So, when it came to the 最佳, 返回页首 ten, I thought it would be hard for any game to just break the 最佳, 返回页首 ten so easily. Most of my 最佳, 返回页首 ten 最喜爱的 games are games I have cherished memories with. But NieR: Automata, I have no nostalgia for, and yet it managed to break...

The 最佳, 返回页首 100 - #53: Psychonauts

posted by windwakerguy430

Another Tim Schaffer game on the 列表 and only so long after I just talked about Brutal Legend. I am aware that Schaffer games have a really weird style of creativity and humor to them and are always meant for a 更多 niche demographic. And I am in that demographic. That said, this is Psychonauts, a game to kinda break the mold of the niche… maybe. Probably. Not really.
Psychonauts follows the character Rasputin, 或者 Raz for short, who is a Psychonaut in training, special agents who use the power of their mind to do incredible powers. With these powers, Raz has to stop a conspiracy in...

An In-Depth Analysis of Sonic VS Shadow!

posted by deathding

So a friend of mine got me thinking the other day, who would win in a battle? An immortal demon who can stop the fabric of time itself, 或者 a blue little 婊子, 子 who's got some burners on him?

...Needless to say, the victor wasn't Sonic. But then I started thinking to myself. I came up with an idea. An awful idea. An awful, awful, awful idea!

*Insert Obligatory Grinch Image Here*

But in all seriousness, I'm here to end the 辩论 once and for all. To see who would TRULY win in a DEATH BA-

BE QUIET! 你 wanna get sued, kid?

Uhhh. in a....BATTLE OF DEATH! Yeah, that's it. Thanks man!

Anytime, mate....

1

Hidden Gems: Jet Set Radio Future

posted by windwakerguy430

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Hidden Gems. Now, how many of 你 know Sega? Okay, now how many of 你 know Sega for anything besides Sonic the Hedgehog? A few of you? Alright, now how many of 你 actually owned a Dreamcast? Probably very few. Well, that’s understandable. Coming at the worst possible time, the Dreamcast was such a commercial failure. So naturally, being a poor child, I had one of them, along with a Gamecube, and wouldn’t get the Xbox and PS2 until much later. I loved all these consoles, but the thing that I loved about the Dreamcast the most was the game Jet Set Radio....

1

狐狸 News's Thoughts on Dark Souls

posted by windwakerguy430

Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Now that we’ve uncovered that this game Dark Soul is the reason for the Craigslist killing, what else has this game done to our society?

Steve Doocy: It’s a good 问题 because for so many years, we never knew this game existed. Now that we do, it seems like the perfect answer as to why video games are ruining America.

Brian Kilmeade: Well, look closely at the title. It has dark right in the name. Clearly this game has some racial overtones that probably has inspired a lot of video game playing racists. It really speaks to how out of touch gamers truly are.

Doocy: Video...

1

Wind 答案 Stupid 问题

posted by windwakerguy430

“Can 你 lose your virginity if 你 fall”
I don’t know. Jump off a cliff and then tell me what 你 learn.

“Does looking at a picture of the sun hurt your eyes”
You have to look pretty damn hard for that to happen. But 由 that point, your eyes will be dangling from your skull…. So technically, yes

“My girl swallowed after oral and now I am worried that she’s pregnant”
Well, you’d better be awaiting the baby to be coming out of the mouth than

“8===D Is this a shovel 或者 a crying smiley face”
Oh 你 innocent minded, stupid boy.

“Can 你 actually lose weight 由 rubbing your stomach”...

1

Windwakerguy430's 最佳, 返回页首 Ten Worst Horror 电影院

posted by windwakerguy430

Now, I 爱情 horror movies. Their easily my 最喜爱的 genre of film. Sadly, it is also the genre of film that has some awful movies. Then there are the 电影院 that aren’t even close to being scary. In other words, these are the worst horror 电影院 I have ever seen. Now, some rules. First off, only 电影院 that I have seen, so no Blair Witch Project 2, Manos: The Hands of Fate, 或者 Monster a Go-Go. Also, only one movie per franchise, so, with that said, lets start the list

#10: Nightmare on Elm 街, 街道 - Now, before 你 all say that this movie was scary, yes, I agree. Nightmare on Elm 街, 街道 was...

Windwakerguy: Ace Attorney Part 1

posted by windwakerguy430

Trail 1
The Warehouse Incident

Prologue

Cole Phelps- I should have known it was you

???- I knew you'd find out eventually... Well, Detective Phelps. I'm afraid this is where it ends

Cole Phelps- No... Get Back... AAAHHHHHHH (Whack) (Whack) (Whack) (Whack) (Whack)

???- He he he he he. Now all I got to do is put the blame on that stupid guy

January 19, 11: 53 a.m.
Wind Waker Guy's Room

Wind Waker Guy- Hmm, What should I do today. All I've done yesterday was play Mario 64. Guess I could play Mario 64 DS
Phone- Rrriiiiiiiinnnggggg
Wind Waker Guy- This is Wind Waker Guy
Kebora Gebora- Hoot. Hoot. Wind Waker...

The 最佳, 返回页首 100 - #42: 《铁拳》 Tag Tournament 2

posted by windwakerguy430

So let’s just get this out of the way. 《铁拳》 is my 最喜爱的 fighting game franchise ever. I 爱情 playing 3 in the arcades, I had a real fun time looking at the tournaments for 《铁拳》 7, and I can safely say that my 最喜爱的 so far, the one that really got me invested in the franchise, was 《铁拳》 Tag Tournament 2 (That’s some good alliteration)
Tekken follows a simple plot in pretty much every game. The Iron First tournament, 或者 the 《铁拳》 tournament, hosted 由 the president of the Zaibatsu Mishima Organization, Heihachi Mishima, in order to gather the best fighters so Heihachi can...