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Appearing naked in other people's dreams is a concept which occurred to me as I woke up this morning from a dream in which I was naked. It's about time someone added this important idea to our literary and cultural heritage.

Advantages to appearing naked in other people's dreams seem infinitely numerous, but I'll the possibilities. When appearing naked in other people's dreams, it's preferable to use one's "power" for good and not evil.

If you've ever been naked in a dream of your own, you're aware of how vulnerable 你 feel at the time -- especially if you're standing naked at a major intersection during rush hour. Wouldn't it be nice if someone came 由 to stand 下一个 to you? If there were another naked person standing 下一个 to you, you'd feel much 更多 confident of standing naked in the middle of the 街, 街道 while automobile traffic swirls around you. 你 could even engage in conversation with your guest, and the act of engaging in a lighthearted discussion would distract 你 from your embarrassment.

Many married couples could also benefit from the experience of appearing naked in one another's dreams. At night, if you're 更多 interested in sleep than in your libido, it would be an opportune time to ask your spouse to make a naked appearance in your dreams. 你 could engage in the glorious art of love-making while you're both sleeping heavily. Any anatomical problems suffered while awake could be corrected in the dream, and at the speed of thought (which is arguably faster than light).

Don't want kids? No money? No time? No desire to change diapers? No good schools in your area? No problem! Having sex with your spouse while dreaming is perfectly safe. A snowball in hell would have a better chance of conception, and you'll save bundles of your hard-earned money on contraceptive devices. Be creative if you'd really like an heir: Have a child in the dream, win the lottery shortly after the birth, hire a maid to change the diapers, become President of the city council and have a school built in your back yard. Hire as many police officers as you'd like to watch the school. If you're still feeling stressed from the financial and temporal burden of children, don't worry! You'll either wake up from the dream, 或者 the child will turn 18 before the dreams ends.

While appearing naked in other people's dreams, don't underestimate the power of giving them visions. Visions are an effective way to get the other person to achieve goals you'd like to see him 或者 her accomplish. Alternatively, selfish reasons are a driving force within humanity, and provide a good incentive for giving people visions.

Most people deserve a raise at work. Give your employer a vision. Appear naked in one of his dreams, and remember to properly announce yourself. First, inform him that they are having a vision. If 你 fail to do that, your success rate of giving people visions will not achieve the maximum potential.

After you've completed step one, proceed to request a raise for yourself. Don't be greedy. I'm sure your co-workers are equally deserving of a raise. Before 你 speak on behalf of your co-workers, however, make sure you've qualified yourself for a raise. After all, you're special, and there's only one you.

If your employer doesn't seem convinced he's having a vision, tell him something only 你 would know. Think back to any private conversations you've had with him. If that method of persuasion proves ineffective, fall back on threats. Don't worry about committing acts of violence -- you'll only be bluffing. If threats don't work, try performing miracles. Be creative though -- don't perform a miracle that's already been used in the Bible, Koran, Torah, 或者 any other 流行的 spiritual manuscript.

Are 你 the boss? Give your employees visions so they'll be 更多 accepting of lay-offs, cuts in pay, 或者 slave labor. If 你 break the law, however, be prepared to give visions to federal agents and any other law enforcement officials 你 may encounter.

Parents, are your children misbehaving? Are 你 unhappy with their grades? Is your teenager paying too much money for drugs? Apply similar principles for giving them visions, and soon you'll have the perfect child you've always dreamt about.

Anyone 阅读 to this point has probably waited for an important 问题 to be answered, "How do I appear naked in other people's dreams?" Deeply apologetic, I confess I don't have the answer. Had I been born a science fiction writer I could easily provide that crucial piece of information. I don't know when the instructions will become available, but when it does, you'll need this 文章 for reference. Please print a copy and retain it for your records
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