!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!! ONLY FOR ADULTS!!!!!!
Hello, guys. Sorry for not posting for so long - I was totally busy with my studying in the university.
“Oh,” She said.
I couldn’t understand the expression on her face while she was staring at the bruises. She was silent for a long moment. The feeling of guilt filled me with even 更多 force.
“I’m… so sorry, Bella. I knew better than this. I should not have—” I couldn’t find words to describe how sorry I felt for that. All the words couldn’t even begin to cover it. My voice broke.
“I am 更多 sorry than I can tell you.”
I couldn’t watch her any more. This beautiful body of my 天使 was so hurt. Her whole ribs were covered with dark spots. I couldn’t see all the bruises before, when the feathers partly covered Bella. I even noticed a big dark spot on her neck – my hungry kiss. I shut me eyes and threw my arm over my face. I couldn’t imagine any worse. So, now I was just waiting for her anger, knowing that I can’t do anything to save the situation, there were no solution. I hated myself with such force….I was damning the 日 when I became this too strong monster, that hurt my only love.
After a long silent torturing moment I felt Bella’s warm soft fingers on my arm. The wave of her tasty scent filled my lungs. If I was human, I’d probably be crying.
She tried to 移动 my hand off my face but I couldn’t meet her gaze.
“Edward?” She 说 in a soft voice. I didn’t respond. I was waiting for her words.
“I’m not sorry, Edward. I’m… I can’t even tell you. I’m so happy. That doesn’t cover it.
Don’t be angry. Don’t. I’m really f—”
She was surprising me with her reaction as always. I made me angry. Fine?! She was FINE?! Covered with dark spots all over her body, but trying to comfort me! I was the last person now who she needed to care about. I was a terrible monster, hurting even my wife, loving her.
“Do not say the word fine.” My voice was rough and cold of disgust of myself. “If 你 value my sanity, do not say that 你 are fine.”
“But I am,” She whispered. Yeah, she was worrying how to make me feel better. She was the kindest person in the whole world. My lovely Bella!But nothing now could make me feel any better.
“Bella,” I almost moaned. “Don’t.” Her efforts made me feel even worse. If she screamed and be angry and blamed me that I ruined our honeymoon, it’d be fair, and I’d know that I deserve it.
“No. 你 don’t, Edward.” Her 表演 finally made me 移动 my hand and meet her gaze.
“Don’t ruin this,” She told. “I. Am. Happy.”
“I’ve already ruined this,” I whispered. There was no doubt 或者 way back.
“Cut it out,” She snapped.
My anger returned – I was angry with myself - I wanted to crash something immediately. But she was lying over me, so I couldn't 移动 not hurting her feelings. I forced myself not to 移动 and my teeth grind together.
“Ugh!” she groaned. “Why can’t 你 just read my mind already? It’s so inconvenient to be
a mental mute!”
What?! This whole situation made no sense – vampire, making 爱情 with human, hurt Bella, trying to comfort the one who hurt her, 由 the way, she was always happy that I can’t read her mind, but now she regretted it?! Did the whole world go crazy this night? Maybe I missed the moment?
“That’s a new one. 你 爱情 that I can’t read your mind.”
I was stuck. “Why?”
She threw my hands up and than her warm palms fell against my chest .
“Because all this angst would be completely unnecessary if 你 could see how I feel right now! 或者 five 分钟 ago, anyway. I was perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now—well, I’m sort of pissed, actually.”Oh, this was closer to the situation, actually.
“You should be angry at me.”
“Well, I am. Does that make 你 feel better?”
I sighed. Of course not, but it makes sense and I deserved her anger.
“No. I don’t think anything could make me feel better now.” Maybe, if she acted as she was supposed to - crying, blaming me and screaming, I’d beg her to forgive me, but I didn’t deserve it. Her 心 beat accelerated. She became angry.
“That,” She snapped.
“That right there is why I’m angry. 你 are killing my buzz, Edward.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. No sense again. I was dying here of my guilt, that I hurt her, but she wanted me to feel good 或者 happy. Ridiculous.
She took a deep breath. Like she was collecting her thoughts. What 更多 can she say? I had no idea. All I knew – was that there was no way out of this situation. Everything was completely perfect – I loved her 更多 than my life, than everything in the world, she loved me back, she married me and now she was completely mine, she did everything to make me happy. The only thing she demanded was physical love, before I turn her to immortal. It was supposed to be pleasant, beautiful, all 爱情 that I can give her, but I ruined everything. There was nothing to make me feel any better
“We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then—well, it was a lot easier than I
thought it would be. And this is really nothing.” She brushed her fingers along my arm. My mind couldn’t deal with this. What was she talking about? Like she was expecting something like that… “I think for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice—” maybe my expression gave me away, but she broke off. Yeah, she was expecting that there might be any injury!!! My God! Suddenly my breathing became rough and I was almost screaming:
“Assumed? Did 你 expect this, Bella? Were 你 anticipating that I would hurt you?
Were 你 thinking it would be worse? Do 你 consider the experiment a success
because 你 can walk away from it? No broken bones—that equals a victory?”
She was silent for a long moment. I calmed down. I was 表演 in the worst way I could - she wasn't the one who ruined everything. That was me.