*NO COPYRIGHT INTENDED, JUST FREE WRITING* please send feed back I am all ears, and if 你 think something is wrong 评论 I would like to know so I can fix things in the future. It starts from where Stephnie Meyer left off, page 264. and yes i did read midnight sun and thought it should be continued so, enjoy (and no not all my introductions will be this long IF I continue but if 你 don't like it I am not going to waste your time.)
Time seemed to dull as I drove back, but it always seemed that way when I wasn't with Bella. It was like that way before I met her though. But, of course, when I am with her, there never seems to be enough time, it always went at the speed of light. It seemed as if time, along with everything else, was against me. Once I pulled into our 车库 I got out slowly, noticing it was dark out, but not dark enough for Bella to be asleep yet. So, I was stuck here. I had an hour, I sat on the 长椅, 沙发 thinking...so many 问题 in my mind. I knew why time seemed to 移动 slower with each tick of our large 老式 clock that hung monotonous on our wall, time didn't matter to the others, just me. Because I knew in a matter of time I would see Bella asleep, here her whisper my name...then in a longer amount of time I would get my 答案 for myself, instead of that vile Mike Newton. And I knew why I was aching to have my answers, I had found out that it wasn't just curiousity, 或者 to get my 答案 myself, rather than Mike Newton. It was because I wanted to know Bella. Her herself. I wanted to find 更多 things we had in common. Because just recently I had found at least one thing in common. I wanted more. I longed to be human so Bella and I could be together. I could touch her soft lips, without having to worry about making her cold, because like she said, she doesn't like the cold. I tortured myself with jealousy some more. I could stroke her cheek with out worrying about snapping her fragile cheek bones, 或者 her delicate skin, 或者 I could hold her. Without having to be alert about her frail skin. And also have to worry about drinking her blood. That sings to me, that burns my nose. I wouldn't have to be burned 由 her sweet blood either. I looked at my hands hating them, for how strong they were, once again.
I only envied Mike Newton for one reason, his humanity, but it was like that with everyone else. I would not let the lowest of low get to me. I tried to comfort myself 由 remembering she 说 yes to me and not him. It worked, it did comfort me. But I argued with myself saying that it would be better for the girl if she 说 yes to him and not me. But for some lunatic reason she accepted me of me, the monster, the vampire. Even though any other human would have run away 由 now. If I wasn't such a monster and lured her in she might have run from me. Which was like anyone else. But Bella wasn't like anyone else I debated. Unlike most humans she was good. Ah! This was why I wasn't worth a single shred of her time! I longed to be human again.To end this war going on in my head. If I was good like her I would leave her alone 'but it's too late to be good' I thought darkly. It was comforting to think that if I left her alone she would be sad, but it was just as terrifying. I hate myself. I was greedy, not good. The exact opposite of Bella. I was a monster for be ing with her, and if I tried to leave her alone I would still be hurting her, so either way now I was the monster I was damned to be.
There was no escape now. I couldn't be good. Because I would still be bad, 由 like I said, hurting one of the most irreproachable people I have ever met. Probably in the world. Ugh! It was if as fate was against me to. And for some sick reason it didn't want everything to be right. It wanted to mangle my fate along with an innocent girl. Because either way we would both be in pain. Why me? Did fate know I was a vampire? Because I could handle these problems unlike any other human. If any human at all had these problems they would be in a mental institution, for life. I was even questioning my sanity at this point. Not only at Bella's mental silence, but this constant war with myself. Would it ever end? It seemed as if there was a left side of everywhere at this point. Emmet thinks I have 迷失 it along with Peter and Charloutte. Rosalie too, eve past her jealousy, which had me in hysterics, thinks I have 迷失 it also. But that didn't matter, they haven't a single shred of what I am going through.
Well, I didn't care. Add fate to the 列表 of things against me. I would fight this war. I would be the best I could to be good for Bella. I would be what she wants. I would prove that I could be good to myself and her, even if the possibility was 下一个 to nearly impossible. I would be exceptionally careful around her. No 更多 mistakes, as I had vowed in the car. Thats when I looked at the clock. Only half an 小时 had passed.I would go to her and wait until she fell asleep. I didn't want to be here anymore. It was to quiet, thats when I noticed I was alone in the big house. Where were the others? Hunting? Together enjoying activities? It didn't bother me that they didn't tell me. They knew I would probably ditch them to be with Bella anyways so what was the point? And since I was always with Bella I didn't pay attention to their plans n their thoughts either. No it didn't matter right now I would go see Bella. Only god knows what happened to her while I was here thinking, oh well I was about to go find out. Just like some sick stalker! I yelled at myself. No I convinced myself I was protecting her for the time, even though she was at her own 首页 where not much could happen. I still wanted to be there just in case. Like I said, I would be good. I sighed in content, then took off full sprint to go see her.
please comment, 下一个 part coming soon. I know there wasn't any communicating in any form of communicating but that is an experiment to see if it really sounds like it would be Edward Cullen. Please tell me how it sounds and critique a lot. I want to know so in the future I could fix mistakes. 下一个 part will be a lot longer. Thanks 或者 reading.