"The 鹦鹉 Rap"
Mr. Garrison assigns the class to do a history 报道 on one of the presidents. He makes everyone go to the computer room and do research, but behind Mr. Garrison's back, Cartman minimizes the research page and opens a new page and begins playing Modern Warfare. The other kids start to do this, but Butters forgets to and Mr. Garrison gives him a detention. Butters tells Cartman that he has to get a detention too so it would be fair, but Cartman refuses and claims it wasn't his fault. The 下一个 日 as the kids are researching in the computer room, Cartman leaves the room to go poop. After Mr. Garrison goes out into the hallway talking on the phone about his tampon prescriptions, Butters sneaks over to Cartman's computer and goes onto a pornographic website. Cartman comes back into the computer room as does Mr. Garrison who sees the website and has a conference with Mrs. Cartman. He suggests that Cartman goes to a sex addiction camp so he will heal. Mrs. Cartman agrees and Cartman is sent to the camp. While at camp, Cartman is assigned to be roommates with Kevin McCormick who is Kenny's older brother. Kevin confesses to Cartman that he is addicted to having sex with parrots. Cartman finds this funny and trys to write a rap about Kevin's 鹦鹉 sex addiction and plans to sing it in front of the whole camp. Meanwhile, Butters confesses to the boys that he caused Cartman to go to the sex addiction camp. Kyle makes Butters gain weight and dress as Cartman since he secretly misses Cartman's insults.
Stan sees that Shelly is dating a goth boy and has nightmares that Shelly is going to become 哥特式 and suicidal. He confronts the goth boy and tells him that Shelly has AIDS, but the boy thinks he means security guards which angers Stan. He decides to act like a goth kid to remind Shelly of what she is dating and make her annoyed. This gets bad when a group of goth girls chase after Stan and force him to take off the outfit. He puts ketchup on his face and goes to Principal Victoria and tells her the goth boy pushed him onto the ground. Principal Victoria assigns the goth boy a week of after school detention. Stan confronts Shelly who tells him that the goth boy broke up with her when he found out she didn't have security guards. Stan, shocked 由 this, begins to bash his head against the walls. Meanwhile, Gerald realizes he can't win at a game of rock, paper, scissors against Randy and gets help from the best trainer there is for the game, Kenny.
Randy throws a 万圣节前夕 party at his house, but notices that it is very boring. He decides to have a haunted house and moves the party to the hospital ER where paramedics try to fix a man who was gutted. Meanwhile, the boys watch Twilight and are convinced that they will get to 吻乐队（Kiss） girls if they turn into vampires. Cartman sees that Mr. Kitty looks like a vampire so he trys to get Mr. Kitty to bite him while the other boys are bitten 由 狼人 and turn into 狼人 instead of vampires.
While Kyle is in the shower, a mysterious figure comes into the bathroom and pees on Kyle which is a parody of "Psycho" due to the camera shots, color, and music. Kyle is put in therapy for the incident and Cartman throws a party since Kyle will be in the therapy class for three whole weeks. A teenage couple go into Cartman's bathroom to makeout, but are encountered 由 the mysterious figure who pees on them too. After everyone leaves the party, the "glee pee-er" strikes again 由 peeing on Liane Cartman, Randy Marsh, and Chef. While watching TV, Cartman is encounted 由 the "glee pee-er who is revealed as Mr. Kitty. Before Mr. Kitty can pee on Cartman, Cartman throws a ball of yarn across the room which distracts Mr. Kitty long enough so Eric can get a pan from the 厨房 and hit Mr. Kitty with it. Eric takes Mr. Kitty to the vet who newters Mr. Kitty of his penis and puts and end to the "glee peeing."
Mrs. Cartman remembers when she was young and had large breasts and realizes it was the reason she had so many men in her life. This encourages her to get breast implants. Upon having larger breasts, several men pay 更多 attention to her and a pornographic film director offers her a porn movie which she accepts and makes a large amount of money off of. This allows Mrs. Cartman and Cartman to 移动 into a mansion with a built in McDonald's. This makes Cartman fatter, allows him to wear nicer clothing, and he starts carrying around money. The boys, sick of the new Cartman, decide to put a commercial on TV of what can happen to somebody with breast cancer. Mrs. Cartman is affected 由 this and has her breast implants removed which makes her lose the money, the mansion, and the men. Cartman decides to get back at Kyle 由 spray painting a swastika on his front door.
A new shampoo comes out in stores called "The Poo" because it smells like feces, but it persuades men to buy it since the smell is 更多 manly. However, the shampoo causes Randy to sleep on the 长椅, 沙发 since the fragrence smells bad to Sharon. Wendy Testaburger breaks up with Stan also because of the smell. The men of South Park travel to Malibu to yell at the creators of The Poo, but the creators tell them the shampoo is for smelling like a man, not getting a girl's attention. The men don't argue with this and go back to South Park where they pile up all The Poo shampoos and burn them. They go back to their regular shampoos. Sharon allows Randy to sleep in the same 床, 床上 as her again, but Wendy doesn't let Stan be her girlfriend again since he still stinks of feces.
"Cow Bells Jingling"
Since Santa gave him many shirts and socks for 圣诞节 the 前一个 year, Cartman switches out Santa's bag of toys with a dead cow. After discovering the dead cow, Santa is encountered 由 two cops. Before they can shoot Santa, Santa kills the cops with two machine guns. He gets drunk at a bar in South Park and wrecks town property causing an angry mob to form. Meanwhile, Cartman is encountered 由 the cop's ghosts and begins to feel bad about what he did and dresses as Santa Claus, gets the presents back, and puts two AK-47s on the back of his sleigh for speed. Santa sees a sad girl's face which encourages him to continue giving out presents. He finds that all the presents are gone from Cartman's backyard and uses a website to track where Cartman is. He tracks down Cartman in a family's 首页 and the two fight until they both become unconsious. In the hospital, Cartman and Santa apoligize, but agree that they will always hate each other.
Cartman grows sick of being called "fat" 由 other students that he punches Kyle in the face. Cartman is forced to see a therapist about his problem. The therapist says he will need Cartman to wear a hidden camera on his hat so the therapist can watch Cartman's whole 日 on his laptop. After seeing Cartman's day, the therapist tells him that 8 people called him fat 29,000 times. Stan called him fat 17 times. Kenny called him fat 2 times. Mr. Garrison called him fat 37 times. Token called him fat 14 times. Liane Cartman called him fat 312 times. Wendy called him fat 49 times. Jimmy called him fat 21 times. And Kyle called him fat 2,448 times. The therapist talks to Principal Victoria and comes up with a plan that all the students have to wear as many cotton balls under their clothes as they called Cartman fat. The students and grown ups are forced to do this which is complete torture since Cartman continusously calls Kyle fat. Kyle sees the therapist who tells Kyle that Cartman called him fat 5,792,830 times which is how many cotton balls Cartman is forced to wear, making Cartman the fattest once again.
For Valentine's Day, Randy gets a heart-shaped pool and plans to make it red 由 using the blood from his arm. He passes out from the blood loss, but is 给 a robotic arm that helps with brushing teeth, doing the kid's homework, and having sex making it a romantic Valentine's Day. Meanwhile, the boys realize they all have the smae secret admirer and treat every girl in school with respect not knowing which one is their secret admirer.
"The Lunch Bunch"
After eating large amounts of 葡萄 jelly, Cartman accidentally pukes on Mr. Hat while Mr. Garrison uses the bathroom. When he gets back, he puts on Mr. Hat as if he doesn't notice the puke. The children take advantage of this and dress Mr. Hat up as Britney Spears, Adolf Hitler, The Grinch, Stewie Griffin, and Spongebob Squarepants. The 日 that the children dress Mr. Hat up as Lady Gaga, Mr. Garrison notices 由 the heavy hair and big dress. He gives all the students detention on the weekend which makes them start conversation and truly understand what each of them is going through.