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posted by Hijara
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I don't own Bleach, its characters, Charlie the Unicorn, 或者 the Coconut song.

Rated for mentions of drug use and cussing.

And now onto the story enjoy!

The Espada Chatroom

(Sleepyhead21 has signed on)

(Iluvwater has signed on)

Sleepyhead21: um…hey

Iluvwater: hey

Sleepyhead21:…

Iluvwater:…

Sleepyhead21: so uh, who r u again?

Iluvwater: Stark it's me, Harribel.

Sleepyhead21: oh, yea right, sorry. Um what's with the name though?

Iluvwater: Well what about yours? Sleepyhead?

Sleepyhead21: Hey, this is all Lilinettes fault, she's the one who woke me from my wonderful nape and signed me on. Then she left me here alone, to go hang out with Nnoitra! She shouldn't be hanging out with him he's a bad influence!!!

Iluvwater:…

Sleepyhead21: Then if he's not around she'll go to Grimmjow. Grimmjow!!! What is she trying to do get herself killed?! She could seriously get injured! 或者 worse! What if when she grows into a nice young woman, the two slimes come after her with…with BAD thoughts? I swear if I catch them even looking at her wrong they're in for some real beat down. I'll 显示 them what 你 can do with some burritos, pliers, and a string!

Iluvwater: Dammit Stark, I didn't want to hear your whole life story!

(Catnip55 has signed on)

Catnip55: Whatsup Suckers!!! Your king has arrived! :)

Sleepyhead21:…Grimmjow?

Catnip55: of course, the one and only.

Iluvwater: Great

Catnip55: Of course it's great. 你 peasants must be overcome with emotion at my arrival.

Sleepyhead21: I'm overcome with an emotion alright

Iluvwater: Not the one he's thinking of, though.

Catnip55: Che, and what's with u 2s names. Stark stop letting Lilinette get on your computer, in fact just lock her in a 扫帚 closet 或者 something it would resolve a lot of issues.

Catnip55: And who the heck are u

Iluvwater: Harribel it's really not that hard to figure out.

Iluvwater: And isn't catnip like crack for you?

Catnip55: What?! Ur crazy, I don't have a clue what your talkin about. Copper I don't have a clue what she's talkin bout.

Sleepyhead21: Grimmjow?

Catnip55: Hey, Hey! I 说 leave me alone, I don't-. NOOOOOOOOOO, not the ward please mommy I'll be good!!!!!

Iluvwater: 0_o

(Catnip55 has signed off)

Sleepyhead21: well at least that's over…

Iluvwater: yea… I guess

(Catnip55 has signed on)

Catnip55: I'm back!!!!

Iluvwater:…

Sleepyhead21: …well damn.

Catnip55: I have convinced the coppers that I have no idea what crazy lady was talkin about.

Sleepyhead21: U mean u don't remember the time Szayel left his 'grow it yourself catnip' lying around.

Iluvwater: Which u then proceeded to eat.

Sleepyhead21: And barge into a meeting, wearing nothing but underwear, 唱歌 The Coconut song.

Iluvwater: then tell Aizen off, about his "Fuckin tea", and start doing the Macarena on 最佳, 返回页首 of the table?

Catnip55:…

Sleepyhead21:…

Iluvwater:…

Catnip55: I know nothing. He, he, he, I know everything (crackles maniacally)

Sleepyhead21: Ok…

Iluvwater: coughcrazycough

Catnip55: I wouldn't be talkin drug lady

Iluvwater: What?

Catnip55: nothing it's just, everyone has to get drugs from somewhere, just so happens the few that where in my possession came from a certain someone…

Iluvwater: Grimmjow, what did u do?

Catnip55: oh, you'll see, any 分钟 now.

Iluvwater: I am not joking with u, what- hey! U can't do that! Wh-what r u doing!! Unhand me I say!! Stop I demand-

(Iluvwater had signed off)

Sleepyhead21: Grimmjow what just happened?!

Catnip55: Rofl, one of the best moments of my fuckin life just happened!

Sleepyhead21: What did Harribel ever do to u?!

Catnip55: … I'm not really sure, but something! There's always something.

Catnip55: Now bow down to the greatness of me!

Sleepyhead21: I really think u need a bit of help… have u tried seeing a therapist?

Catnip55: I 说 BOW, u insolent slime!

Sleepyhead21: yea, okay I think I'll be going now…

Catnip55: what u can't leave! U haven't bowed yet!!

(Sleepyhead21 has signed off)

Catnip55: Agh, dammit he left now I'm all be my lonesome

Canip55: …it's really empty in cyberspace…

Catnip55: oh will u look at that I've run out of catnip gotta go

Catnip55: this is the same as talking to myself isn't it…

(Catnip55 had signed off)

(Iseeu has signed on)

Iseeu: Wassup!!!

Iseeu:…uh where is everyone?

(Iluvwater has signed on)

Iseeu: um who is this?

Iluvwater: well who is this?

Iseeu: hah my master disguise has worked now I can take over the world and no one will ever know it was me!!! (Evil laughing)

Iluvwater: Not to rain on Ur parade but wouldn't that defy the point of taking over the world?

Iseeu: …damn u! U have foiled my plot, but it will not be foiled again.

Iluvwater: okay

Iseeu: r u Barrigan? Only he would be able to pull such a feat.

Iluvwater: no…

Iseeu: Aaroniero?

Iluvwater: no

Iseeu: Nnoitra?

Iluvwater: what? No! Don't insult me!

Iseeu: Yammy?

Iluvwater: no

Iseeu: Stark

Iluvwater: nope

Iseeu: Szayel?

Iluvwater: nu uh

Iseeu: Grimmjow?

Iluvwater: nope

Iseeu: Ulquiorra?

Iluvwater: nada

Iseeu: Zommari?

Iluvwater: No- Wait! That's U!

Iseeu: oh, oops

Iluvwater: How do u miss naming of the only espada that's not u!!! There are only ten of us!

Iseeu: but if Ur not me then who…

Iluvwater: Harribel, the only fuckin espada 你 missed!!!

Iseeu: Oh, wait yea I remember now.

Iseeu: Wait! Hold it! U knows who I am?!

Iluvwater: of course I do dipshit!

Iseeu: Crap U've foiled my unfoilable plot yet again! Damn U Halle Berry!!!

Iluvwater: It's Harribel, u idiot! I'm out of here.

(Iluvwater has signed off)

Iseeu: I must go plot a different scheme, I will rule this world yet…

(Spoonman76 has signed on)

Spooonman76: Harribel, daddy is here, and will save u from the mean coppers!!!

Iseeu: sorry, just missed her.

Spoonman76: Damn and this is?

Iseeu: why the awesomely wonderful Zommari of course!

(Spoonman76 has signed off)

Iseeu: wait! Don't leave me!

Iseeu: :[

(Iseeu has signed off)

(10 分钟 later)

(The_Mad_Scientist has signed on)

The_Mad_Scientist: Oh, great no one's here, what else could go wrong today?

(Spoonman76 has signed on)

Spoonman76: is he gone?

The_Mad_Scientist: oh right that. Is who gone?

Spoonman76: Zommari

The_Mad_Scientist: far as I can tell he is.

Spoonman76: phew, so is this Szayel?

The_Mad_Scientist: Unless u know some other mad scientist espada.

Spoonman76: Yea, right.

The_Mad_Scientist: well, now that someone else is here, I shall start with the ranting.

Spoonman76: Fine I, don't ca-wait. What? no Szayel, I don't know…

The_Mad_Scientist: know what? I did not ask 你 anything. Now to begin with, I was having a perfectly good 日 in the lab I had a new hollow to test on, and I was quite excited. Unfortunately good things never seem to last.

Spoonman76: Szayel I don't really want to know.

The_Mad_Scientist: Grimmjow was the one to ruin my 日 first. He destroyed half of my lab and snacks trying to get 更多 catnip! I already gave him three bags how much does he eat a day!

Spoonman76: wait! U give Grimmjow Catnip?!

The_Mad_Scientist: Yes, it was one of my greatest ideals I get to have my revenge on Los Nochas and its inhabitants without having to really do anything.

Spoonman76: Szayel maybe u should see a shrink…

The_Mad_Scientist: Yes well whatever, just when I had got rid of Grimmjow, Harribel comes screaming down the hall being pulled 由 two men in uniform again disrupting my experiments, and killing some 更多 snacks.

Spoonman76: I'm not a part of the fraction protection service 或者 anything but should u be referring to them as snacks?

The_Mad_Scientist: Who cares? Anyway everything was quite for awhile, when Zommari knocked down my door, demanding the evil 射线, 雷 machine! When I told him I had just sold that to one of my customers, he blew up and began destroying things In. My. Lab!!!

Spoonman76: Wait what customers?

The_Mad_Scientist: Sorry confidential, can't tell.

Spoonmand76: well whatever back to the catnip.

The_Mad_Scientist: I already told u I gave him catnip for revenge

Spoonman76: So u got anything other than catnip…

The_Mad_Scientist: …what?

Spoonman76: u know something other than catnip, starts with an M.

The_Mad_Scientist: Nnoitra…

Spoonman76: Yes

The_Mad_Scientist: I. Am. Not. A. Drug. Dealer.

Spoonman76: Che, fine be that way

(NotanEmo has signed on)

The_Mad_Scientist: Ulquiorra? I though u hated chats.

NotanEmo: I do.

Spoonman76: then why r u here?

NotanEmo: Aizen-sama has ordered me to monitor this chatroom and make sure no illegal dealings take place.

Spoonman76: Illegal dealings as in drug dealings?

NotanEmo: Correct, trash.

Spoonmang76: Shit!

The_Mad_Scientist: I wouldn't have dealt with u either way.

(Sleepyhead21 has signed on)

Sleepyhead21: Lilinette made me come back. She 说 I was being a cry baby…

NotanEmo: …okay

(Catnip55 has signed on)

Catnip55: Yes! Finally! I have my nip!

NotanEmo: trash

Catnip55: What the hell r u doing here?!

The_Mad_Scientist: he's here to monitor for drug deals, which includes catnip.

Catnip55: NOOOOOOO, U will never take my nip-nip!!!!

Spoonman76: dude is he okay?

NotanEmo: What is nip-nip? Is it some kind of drug?

Catnip55: Of Course I'm okay, chickens cluck do they not? And 情绪硬核 boy… 你 will never know HA, HA, HA, HA, HA.

Spoonman76: Grimmjow maybe u should take a break…

Catnip55: I'm fine, fine as wine on a vine in its prime!

NotanEmo: R u high?

Catnip55: lol, As high as a clown on stilts atop the Eiffel Tower, baby!

NotanEmo: Grimmjow u have directly defied Aizen-sama's rule about drugs.

Catnip55: eh? Who cares about him, loosen up a bit 情绪硬核 boy.

NotanEmo: Grimmjow, I'm warning u

(Nighprincess01 has signed on)

Nightprincess01: Hello everybody! Orihime here : D

NotanEmo: Women, how did u get a computer?

Nightprincess01: same way Harribel got one.

The_Mad_Scientist: Which would be how?

Nightprincess01: 偷了 it.

Sleepyhead21: a;ldkfjeoifbnalvngheoiarhj

Spoonman76: What was that?

Catnip55: Nooooooo, the aliens it the aliens, they're here to take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NotanEmo: I think he just fell asleep…

Catnip55: They're going to experiment on me!!! They're going to perform horrible mutating experiments and then erase me memory and dump me back here in Los Nachos,

The_Mad_Scientist: Shut up! Nobody is being taken away 由 aliens, how high r u?!

Spoonman76: I think he already 说 that…

(Yammy, Hammy, andSpamming has signed on)

Catnip55: dud that's a worse name then Starks.

The_Mad_Scientist: Agreed

Spoonman76: totally

NotanEmo: correct, trash.

Nightprincess01: Hey, stop picking on my new best friend!

The_Mad_Scientist: Yammy is Ur new best friend?!

Spoonman76: lol, 嘿 Ulquiorra seems you've been dumped!

NotanEmo: I never did and never will have any relations with the women.

Catnip55: u just can't get laid.

Yammy, Hammy, andSpamming: Himi-chan I watched that video 你 told me about.

Nightprincess01: really?! What was your 最喜爱的 part?

Spoonman76: wait, what video?

Yammy,Hammy,andSpamming: The song of course.

Nightprincess01: Oh, u mean the 香蕉 one?

Yamm,Hammy,andSpamming: (starts singing) Charlie 你 look so quite down, with your big fat eyes and your big fat frown, the world doesn't have to be so gray~

Nightprincess01: Charlie when your life's a mess when you're felling blue always in distress.

The_Mad_Scientist: Oh, God

NotanEmo: Oh Aizen-sama

Nightprincess01: I know what can wash that 说 away

Yamm,Hammy,andSpamming: All u have to do is put a 香蕉 in your ear.

NotanEmo: A banana?

Nightprincess01: put a ripe 香蕉 right into your 最喜爱的 ear

Sleepyhead21: This is what I have to wake up to?! Why?!?!?!

Yamm,Hammy,andSpamming: it's true.

NotanEmo: says who?

Nightprincess01: so true

Yamm,Hammy,andSpamming: Once it's in your ear the bad in the world is hard to hear when a bananas in your ear.

NIghtprincess01: a 香蕉 cheers so go and put a 香蕉 in your ear

Spoonman76: I'll tell u where u can put your precious banana

Yamm,Hammy,andSpamming: put a 香蕉 in your ear

NotanEmo: I'd rather keep my ear clean…

Nightprincess01: you'll never be happy if 你 live your life in fear.

Yamm,Hammy,andSpamming: it's true

NotanEmo: says you

Nightprincess01: so true, when it's in the skies are bright and clear.

Yamm,Hammy,andSpamming: Oh every 日 of every year.

Nightprincess01: the sun shines bright in this big blue sphere so go and put a 香蕉 in your ear.

NotanEmo: Thank Aizen-sama it's over!

Nightprincess01: Now 糖果 Mountain!

The_Mad_Scientist: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The_Mad_Scientist has signed out)

Catnip55: even I'm not high enough for this shit!

(Catnip55 has signed out)

Sleepyhead21: Lilinette save me!!!

(Sleepyhead21 has signed off)

NotanEmo: Eyes, burning, bleeding. Must. 报道 to. Aizen-sama.

(NotanEmo has signed off)

Spoonman76: Make it stop!

(Spoonman76 has signed off)

Nightprincess01: Okay ready?

Yamm,Hammy,andSpamming: Okay!

Nightprincess01: Oh when your down and looking for some cheering up then just head right on up to the 糖果 mountain cave

Yammy,Hammy,andSpamming: When 你 get inside 你 find yourself a cheery land, such a happy, an joyful, perky, merry land!!!!

End...for now!