Riku114 Wall

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Riku114 说 …
Me: Okay its 11 AM what are we supposed to be going? *checks calendar*

Me: .... the calendar is blank until 6 PM

Me #2: Ya know we planned to like... ya know, have an easy 日 on the weekend?

Me: .... OKAY THEN. LETS GET DOWN TO RELAXING AND HAVING FUN. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PLAY 或者 DO

Me #2: Can 你 like... not be so extreme and just relax when relaxing 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Deep breaths, relax muscles, lower shoulders, and just do whatever~ 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Also I officially #100%ed Hijikata and Saito and I totally have... 26.1 hours on the game XD Im officially 1/6th way done with the game 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Im going back to get Hijikatas bad routes before starting another and I just remembered again how much he needs to stfu and stop being me 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I really miss my flock tbh. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Its been way too long since I got to hold a feathery friend. I hope we get to hold the chickens in the chicken lab for my animal science lab 下一个 week 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Cos Imma die if I cant hold a feathery friend for one 更多 week 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
University: Here 你 have a $755 Refund Check to pick up

Me: .... i do? What for? I mean Il ltake it but idk why

Me: *going through financial papers and stuff* OH 你 GUYS DIDNT PAY ME MY WHOLE GRANT EARLIER SO THIS IS MONEY I HAD BUT DIDNT KNOW OHHH THATS NICE

Me: Well at least that makes sense. Alright time to account it into my budge-

University: *literally one 小时 after I picked up that one* 你 have a refund check to pick up

Me: ???? WHAT FOR??? 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Im getting so much money from the 大学 I dont understand why Im getting it. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Maybe this one is the small student loan 或者 something? 或者 maybe its the downpayment on dorm paid back or...??? 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Tbh I was $400-500 above my budget I was 给 and thus adding an unexpected $755 made me around $1200 saved and who knows how much the 下一个 one is .-. 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Also everyone says Hijikata is originally cold, mean, and an asshole of sorts but like... I never really saw that and I dont know if thats everyone having differnet opinions 或者 a commentary on me since I relate to him XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Too many good Hijikata Icons. I was gonna go for 万圣节前夕 but got distracted. Maybe Ill give him a witch hat 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Me: Imma 谷歌 how to relax

Roommate: 你 go do that. *goes off to the bathroom*

*two 分钟 later*

Roommate: did 你 figure out how to relax?

Me: No

Roommate: .... get off the UC Davis hatchery page, yo uare supposed to be relaxin- no close the 电子邮箱 too

Me: .... ..... *legit didnt realize she was not relaxing and now feels dumb* 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I officially accepted that I have a genuine friend irl and thus also decided to give her the irl best friend at the same time and thats honestly kinda weird for me.

...

... i dont know if i like this XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I feel a lot of 你 underestimate how horrifically bad I am at actually establishing meaningful connections with people IRL and then actually recognizing and accepting it rather than denying it and negating the 'meaningful' part because I refuse to let it count cos of my discomfort into getting invested into friendships 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
But TBH shes one of the only two not-boyfriend, not-therapist, not-oldest-sister people I know IRL that I am even remotely comfortable being my purely natural self and we still are in contact even after having not seen each other in two months and tbh shes pretty cool 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
#GayPTSDBuddies 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Im annoyed 由 the amount of M&Ms in my trail mix 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I know Im weird 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
WELP. I apparently also do dissociative fugue XD The one dissociation thing I claimed to NOT have I apparently have for ffs XD

My new therapist was like "You do A LOT for being dissociated so it sounds a lot like a fugue if 你 ask me". Apparently 你 dont have to have that whole complete memory wipe / shock when 你 come back from a fugue and apparently my selective amnesia and constant casual autopilot-dissociation is likely a mild but still active dissociative fugue ffs XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
But fuck man I got therapy homework to "relax" rip me 一年多以前
Rihanna312 说 …
https://www.facebook.com/pubity/videos/767156683615418/ 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
XD Thats hilarious 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 说 …
Wait...who is Nomy? 发布 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
Guys, check out my new 问题 on the 随意 club xD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
8theGreat XD 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
I see xD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Nomy: "Doing my job stuff so I might be slow to respond so sorry XD"

Me: "Its cool XD I was just mostly rambling here. And looking at birds"

Nomy: "When are 你 not looking at birds"

Me: "good point" 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^ A good point indeed lmao !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Lowkey having way too much fun with the thing me and Nomy are casually working on as a side thing together tbh. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
YES MY 7-10 PM CHEM LAB GOT CANCELED COS THE UC SYSTEM IS EXPERIENCING A STRIKE. HALLELUJAH. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
So I managed to match with a therapist that does have experience with trauma and dissociation so that should be interesting. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
So anyways, we did the away game and what not well and stayed up from 10 PM until 3 AM until I had to let my boyfriend go which lowkey really made me kinda sad to see him go since it was honest to god the first time none of my mental health crap was constantly pressuring me (Constantly but not majorly; present but not crushing) and I didnt really wnat him to go.

Woke up the 下一个 day, had the banquet and senior speeches and what not 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Then we got on the bus to head back to our 大学 but only got like.... 20 miles out before one of the busses started majorly leaking oil and eventually catching on 火, 消防 in the form of an engine fire. That ended up making us stranded 由 a beach. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Then we all agreed (quite enthusiastically as if we hadn't just been told we were stranded for two hours) to "rally at the beach" which pretty much means to play 音乐 and have a band version of a party on the beach. Pretty much did that for three hours straight. Apparently a couple whose son killed himself a week 以前 forced themselves out of the house to check out hte 海滩 and smiled for the first time since because of us, our energy, and overwhelming positivity 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I might 上传 some 视频 onto youtobe XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
IM BACK HOLY SHIT XD

Our bus broke down and we didnt get a bus until midnight and then had a 5 小时 drive back XD Plus I had a cold but tbh it was a lot of fun and I needed it XD After I get 食物 and laundry done I might ramble 更多 on it if people are interested but it was quite a fun adventure with the band XD

Oh yeah I was at an away game that had us in a hotel over the weekend btw. 发布 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
that was unexpected news but 嘿 glad 你 had fun xD yes 更多 please.. 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
yyyyyyyyyyoooooo finally back!!!, but i am happy too 你 had alot of fun<3 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 说 …
Riku why u no have time xD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Cuz Im a bando XD 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
:D 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
hahahaha XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Fyi Goodbyes are still 200x harder than just cold turkey 或者 any actual parting 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
^This is in relation to the fact I got to see my boyfriend two nights 以前 and had to part as well tho on the same 日 XD It was harder than I thought it would be 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
My relatable character 列表 is really hard to rank at this point XD Also I moved a few to an "EX-Relatable" 列表 since I was feeling some really didnt match up to the standard the 列表 held 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I also now added Tiers so I could place them 更多 generally into Three Ranked boxes rather than trying to compare two really close ones. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
The Tiers arent really ranked inside the tier but First is higher than 秒 which is higher than third 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
HIJIKATA GOTTA STOP DOING THINGS AND SAYING THINGS SIMILAR TO WHAT IVE DONE AND 说 FUCK OFF 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
ALSO CHIZURU STOP DESCRIBING HIM AS SOME PEOPLE WOULD DESCRIBE ME. 你 TOO CAN FUCK OFF XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I might just go eat my 意大利面 bar and glare. XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Hilariously hes also nicknamed "Demon Commander" 由 his 老友记 and subordinates which is very well paralleled 由 the fact everyone in my old band called me "Satan" XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly I'm not too good at 展示 affection out of the provider method. Providing gifts, money, aid, help, and all that stuff. It doesnt really work well for people that dont want it 或者 people that dont understand that type of affection, but its just the most natural and comfortable one for me.

Im also pretty good at the method of spending quality time, but I also feel that flies over people's head a lot since I have limited time so my 'quality time' often isnt long 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Im usually busy so cutting out like... half an 小时 或者 an 小时 to just 你 really says something 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honest to god my boyfriend is the 更多 sweet thing ever. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
*most sweet 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Im the luckiest to have him in my life 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Ah yes. The 4 AM call time for a football game in Marching Band. Sounds about right. XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Lowkey feel a little bad cause people are comparing their schedules to mine and feeling lazy but that REALLY isnt fair. I keep myself busy sometimes as a bad coping mechanism XD Being busy is usually easier for me than being free 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Oh huh. Thats the first time I 说 that since I turned 18.

I guess Im finally / officially 'legal' now XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
FUCK IM NO LONGER #TEAMTEENAGER ON 潮流粉丝俱乐部 XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Well.... "Teen"ager comes from the "teen" part so Im still a teen until Im like.... 20 XD So I still kinda am? 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Its weird tho XD Being on here since I was like 11 almost 12 makes it odd being moved a biiiiit into the older group. TBH not THAT old since there are a lot of older people still on here but yikes XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Im 18 and take 6-7 pills every morning. What am I 60? 发布 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
你 are 11 年 old cat xD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Hijikata is too relatable tbh XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Welp that Chem midterm had to be on of the easiest tests Ive taken in a while 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Also I was debating between the conflict in my own values and ideals the fact that one of my closest college 老友记 currently does drugs (which I am firm against myself; but I have had online 老友记 that abused it so now that I think about it I should have no problem with it XD) but from what Ive heard and seen so far, shes rather responsible about it and doesnt push it so I suppose its fine. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
My firmness on that value of mine hadnt had such a direct 问题 to my decision of people to be around and to choose to be 老友记 with since those that did do it that I was 老友记 with did it after I already took them as longer term 老友记 so something like that was a matter of concern for them rather than decision making on my part 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
But personally, as much as I disagree with the usage of drugs and what not, as long as people arent in my face about it and trying to get me to take part and they themselves arent harming themselves with it 或者 their behavior while on it isnt harming others, then its not really horrible. Everyone's life is their own 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Same as Zeppie and agree !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly I really like my Microecon professor XD I mean Ive always loved Economy - both Macro and Micro - but he just makes the class great. Both a wonderful professor and just person in general XD Plus with my 爱情 for participating, tendency to sit in the front, and the small conversation I have with him before and after class Im on pretty good terms with him too XD

But lowkey my 最喜爱的 class to go to (until we get to Poultry in Animal Science prolly) 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Imma wanna die the 下一个 two weeks XD

I have 9 hours of band practice this week, then an all weekend marching trip, two labs, and a midterm XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
omg

"arrrghh my head"

Youtuber: "Yeah 你 should just amputate it" 发布 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
ouch XD , get well soon Riku~bun<3 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Nah XD That wasnt at me it was a thing in the game he was going through 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
hehe thats good xD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
extraverted Sensing (Se) (30.2)
good use

introverted Sensing (Si) (25)
average use

extraverted Intuiting (Ne) (29.3)
average use

introverted Intuiting (Ni)      (34.3)
good use

extraverted Thinking (Te) (43.6)
excellent use

introverted Thinking (Ti) (30.3)
good use

extraverted Feeling (Fe) (20.7)
limited use

introverted Feeling (Fi) (27.2)
average use

TEMPERAMENT: Theorist 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Oh the Temperament was a different wording for the "Rationals" "Idealists" etc etc 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
But yeah that felt like probably the most legit of the tests out of the ones I took 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Fuck I was gonna record it but decided against it and now wanted to post it on my 墙 but now I cant find it :v

Anyways there was a Hijikata quote along the lines of "If I find myself in capable of doing a task, it is my responsibility to delegate it to someone who can." 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Personally thats the great thing about communications, having people around 你 with diverse skills, and - in the larger spectrum for like nations and what not - trade. Time is very limited and one cant spend their whole life learning literally everything (against as much as I talk about it and seem to try to XD) so some things have to be passed up. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
AND THIS ALL STARTED FROM ME THINKING ABOUT A HIJIKATA QUOTE 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I hate myself XD (not really) 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Hijikata is also pretty relatable. Saito is 更多 specifically relatable while Hijikata is 更多 generally relatable 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
WOOOOO DORM TO MYSELF. God its been so long since I felt as free as this XD I 爱情 my roommates but as the 前一个 post on this 墙 said, my mind just automatically assumes that they serve a presence like my parents so like... yeah XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly the thing about PTSD that I didnt really fully notice until I went to college is how it just makes 你 have a constant sense that where-ever 你 are and regardless of what facts 你 present, there is a massive tag on everything that marks it a threat / possible danger.

Like I find that my dorm honestly feels exactly like it did when I was back at 首页 but there is NOTHING here actually to give it that feeling 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Likewise, the college itself does as well outside of learning. I just suppose it hasnt fully occurred to me because when I felt that constant presence of a threat that isnt there was when I didnt know / accept that I had PTSD and when I did know / accept it, I had my boyfriend around me at least an 小时 almost every 日 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
And as cheesy as it sounds, I can honestly say the only place I felt normal - at least in terms of sensing a threat 或者 anxiety - and safe. When I am around him, there is no levels of filters watching every word and every gesture and every thought and everything. Im fully genuine around him because my brain goes "Oh look. We are good and safe. No worries, feel free" cause he just makes me feel safe. HE doesnt really do anything too actively. HE isnt over protective 或者 take up my inner routines to protect myself from a nonexistant threat. Its just that hes there and its like a safety net 或者 harness. 你 wouldnt go on an obstacle course 200 feet in the air without one of them, but when its there and 给 由 a company 你 can sue, 你 are much 更多 okay with it 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Im charismatic, smart, driven, good at applying myself, and considerably successful and just looking at the stats Ive got everything going for me way better than him. But honestly, its like people being amazed at the 树 and how beautiful it is without looking at the very soil, water, and nutrients that even let it be that. 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Ughh XD Im sad now. Im hearing the band practicing field 显示 for tomorrow's football game that I didnt sign up for cos I figured Id be exhausted but now that I hear them its giving me good old memories to late night practices and now I wanna be there XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Today was a fucking shitty day. 10/10 would NOT recommend 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Hijikata is great XD Saito seems 更多 fitting as a partner in my opinion but Hijikata is a great character XD I seriously 爱情 his casual cursing being part of the smaller details of his characteristics XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Oh shit one of my options for a therapist is trained in EDMR therapy XD I dunno if I wanna go for it though cause I dont really know if its the type of processign and recovery I want to go about but that therapy is like a really rare type to see 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
It really shouldn't feel as odd as it is to be 给 normal friendly attention and to be treated as a normal person as it does. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
IRL I mean. I have a lot of online 老友记 I feel give me that too 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
WHY IS BUDGETING TO MUCH FUN? 发布 一年多以前
2ntyOnePilots 评论…
*too I’m sry, couldn’t help it. Argh.. plz don’t @ me, ik I’m hypocritical 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
It was actually supposed to be *So 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Also 7-10 PM Chemistry Labs was a mistake 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
And people are starting to notably notice that Im ahead of most of the class even when Im in a large 大学 XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
College is the ability to say "You know this professor lectures 4x slower than I can learn 由 阅读 myself and I have a TA and discussion classes to work through anything I might not know so fuck this lecture" 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I have a midterm for Chem (not really a midterm cause I have two cause they dont understand what the word 'midterm' means) 下一个 week and tehre are two 更多 chapters to cover and Im pretty sure I could cover the two chapters on my own and start doing practice tests in the time itd take them to cover the single first chapter today 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Personally I think I like Pokemon partly because Im an animal lover and the 幻想 of being in sync with your pets much 更多 like companions and partners and going into battle with them just sounds like an awesome relationship.

Of course a large part is being raised with it, but my animal lover, my combat obsession, and my 爱情 for 幻想 just kinda melds together as well. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I suppose to animal lovers, it depends if 你 see the battles as forcing them to fight 或者 as working as a partnership to fight that makes 你 问题 it. Also I like to imagine pokemon less in the "I wanna be the Pokemon Master" way, and 更多 in just like a world of Pokemon and conflicts and stuff going on and stuff. A more... mature and stuff orientated type 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
HArd to explain but I dunno XD 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
I feel the same way when it comes to that matter !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
My hair is so good for hair / head banging 发布 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
Meow 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
headbangs with Riku❤ 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I am honestly so sick of shitty fucking service management and help in the mental health department of fucking everything. Fuck Kaiser and maybe now also Fuck Davis 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I 爱情 Davis but fuck their whole student care. Im paying for insurance yet have to struggle to book a single fucking appointment with therapy 或者 psychiatry. I have STILL yet to get one despite all my efforts 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Poor service in the mental health department isnt even funny in the slightest anymore 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Not that it ever was 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
FINALLY GOT AN APPOINTMENT 耶稣 CHRIST 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Linkin Park is a real headbanger.

Also for those that wonder how well I hide emotions and even major breakdowns, Ive had two full breakdown and like.... three 或者 four almost breakdowns and none of them have been noticed 由 my roommates 或者 bandos who have been around me pretty much 24/7 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
I know how that is very well !!!! 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
And yes. Linkin Park rocks. It still remains one of my 最喜爱的 Bands !!!! 一年多以前
2ntyOnePilots 评论…
Linkin Park rocks! (Literally) I’m glad I’m not the only one who still gets a kick out of their music. (R.I.P. Chester) 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I still hate when my mind randomly reminds me how ruined and stolen my childhood and teenhood was stolen from my family situation and mental health. I usually accept it and can think about it and grow from it, but sometimes my brain just hooks on it in a form of comparison and just get really envious and sad and tries to drag me back into grief over it. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Its one of the things that I still almost definately need 音乐 to block out. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I was video chatting with my boyfriend when I took a two 分钟 break and something just brought it back and now Im just kinda really tense trying to block out the thought cause its not good for me to think about and if I think about it my mind starts going down a bad track and I start dissociating but even when Im playing 音乐 to block out the bad thought train, I still am tense af and my body still wants to be anxiety ridden 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I really do need to figure out therapy though so I can actually continue to work through things 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Personally for a while, I spent a lot of my life kind of 迷失 in my own mind and just living in the worlds in my head and even in a reality slightly warped 或者 rather wrapped in a veil of distance and separation. It felt so separate from the world.

I would have this sense of companionship and socializing talkign to online 老友记 24/7 while pent up in my room, rarely actually talking to anyone. A life that was perfect and a well developed and stable personality 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
While not knowing the first thing about myself and while being a mental health mess in a toxic family 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
It was honestly a bit of a false reality and while it may have felt really good from time to time, I feel that its good that I got my reality and the TRUE reality to match up and work on actually taking part in the world 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I am not to say that 老友记 online are not real 老友记 或者 they dont provide companionship, however its hard to say that it fully fills the role when there is nothing in the actual physical world to be around 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
If I were to say anything, it was probably a lot easier, 更多 peaceful, and fun to live like that and honestly sometimes there is a deep longing to go back to living like that, but this seems better - as 更多 difficult as it is 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Welp I finished Saito's route and like.... I dont wanna go onto completing ANY of the other 12 rn cos I 爱情 Saito and that story worked so well it doesnt feel like the others could compare XD

Im sure they are great but Id feel wrong moving on so fast so I might take a few days break 或者 something.

Saito is great though 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
14 hours of game play and there is 11 other main routes XD 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Welp, it is reasonable. Give yourself some time to reflect on what 你 have went through before 你 jump straight into the other Routes XD !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Saito is so making my relatable characters 列表 XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Sometimes, I honestly feel like if Im not of use to people, I really am not wanted, needed, 或者 worthy of attention / affection 或者 whatever.

I am very aware that it isn't true, but I can't say I am not taken off guard 或者 uncomfortable when I realize someone is liking me not for my skill in anything 或者 my intelligence 或者 my ability to help them, but just rather for me and myself and...

Its just weird 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I kinda relate to Saito in that matter 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I was actually having 晚餐 with one of the other trumpet freshmen and for over half of it I was internally struggling to comprehend the fact that I neither was amazing at the trumpet compared to others, havent shown off any particular academics, 或者 really anything useful to them yet.... they still treated me and seemed to want to welcome me into being 老友记 regardless and it just didnt seem right 或者 to make sense XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
XD Thanks guys. Its not really a major concern but 更多 so a reflection / analysis / observation I noticed on myself and felt like rambling about. It is just something that I noticed and one of the things that resonated strongly with me when a similar topic was beign discussed in Hakuoki XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Lowkey in a huggge 拉面 mood since I cant go to the dining commons but also not wanting to spend money

Id kill for like... legit ramen. Like legit cooked ramen. The real delicious good shit. 发布 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
拉面 I WANT ALOT*_* YUMMY!!!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
ALSO FUCK HAKUOKI SLIGHTLY XD

It makes me miss my boy 更多 XD Cos Im like "Aww... this is such a nice romance cute thing... I relate case of my boyfriend... BUT HES NOT FUCKING HERE AND ITS BEEN LIKE TWO AND A HALF WEEKS AND I WANT HIM BACK. GIVE HIM BACK TO ME." 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Honestly, I just kinda like having him around because I get a nice sense of security that makes it so I dont have to be well in check 24/7, looking over thigns 24/7, being responsible and controlling everything, and jsut all in all being a really spectacular, responsible, hardworker all the time. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I mean its GOOD when I am doing that and it REALLY doesnt drain me too much to be like this 24/7 cause its honestly just a different mode of sorts and doesnt really take much energy for me to keep track of everything and stay on task and everything, but I really do enjoy occasionally allowing myself to be stupid, to make mistakes, and to not have to look far ahead to make sure everything is going exactly as I plan / want it to and all 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Still tho. I 爱情 Hakuoki 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Hajime Saito > Hajime Hinata

I 爱情 both but Saito is great 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Hajime Ichinose > EVERY other Hajime so far !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
"All too often, doubt is little 更多 than a poison" ~ Saito Hajime 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I burnt my self out helping my roommate with basic Chem that I just had a major energy and mood crash the 秒 a minor inconvenience occured in my work when I started it at night

Whoops 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly the great thing about a well done Otome game is it gives 你 a small, short version of the feeling of falling in 爱情 all over again. Its not as long lasting, and its not as intense, but for a short moment when playing it, 你 just get the rush and softness for a 分钟 或者 two where 你 are like "Ah... Love"

Not enough to where 你 fall in 爱情 for real, but enough to get the feeling of being loved and loving. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
So it seems the first game "Kyoto Winds" is 更多 of the set up and is much 更多 linear even with the different romancable options and then "Edo Blossoms" is the 秒 half where 你 start right away getting to be offered which route 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Its just kinda nice being as busy as I am to be honest XD Makes keeping my club up and active harder but still lets me have fun and what not while still feeling like Im making progress in my life

Oooooh

I think I get to sheer 羊 this Friday 由 the way

#Hype 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Relatable !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Apparently I am matching with Saito 更多 just with my natural decision choices XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I wonder how much Ive read in Visual Novels in my time... 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Hakuoki plays a lot better than I expected XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly... People assume me to be much 更多 in control and independent than I am - 或者 at least 更多 than I comfortably am. Im driven and perseverant and all, but I really dont like doing things Im completely unfamiliar with alone and I dont necessarily know how to do everything. I mean, that is normal for people, but it seems like almost everyone but maybe my boyfriend and maybe my oldest sister realize that. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Im great at leading when its somethign foreign that Im somewhat used to 或者 something similar to something Im familiar with and all, but when its completely unknown, I really 爱情 to have someone actually help me out. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I can get pretty easily overwhelmed alone in an area I feel like I dont have any solid footing in. Most things I do feel like I have solid footing in, therefore I lead rather well and handle myself rather well - but if I dont have a plan 或者 any real guidance of something Ive seen before 或者 anything, it just throws me off 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Cos bois I still got severe anxiety thats just being mediated 由 medication 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
I see that being perfectly natural, Rikubun. Someone thinking otherwise would seem unusual to me. That applies to every person and the impressions they are giving. Especially if 你 have come to know them well !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Ugh. I honestly wish I was actually taught how to do taxis and bus crap cos now I have to figure that stuff out on my own and its a pain in the ass. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Also a note as to why I need to take my anxiety meds daily. Cause I missed it today (and probably also cause I missed it two days ago), it was causing my body to start reacting in an anxiety attack what with the inability to breathe and shit 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Im alright cause my sister actually gives me 更多 help than "Take cash money and figure it out" and cause Im aware the reaction my body was having was primarily due to the lack of medication and I just took my medication but yikes 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Apparently I bike at least 4 kilometers on a regular school 日 so its a bit too convenient for Pokemon Go XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I might start playing Pokemon again. My schedule isnt as dense as I hoped it would be to make playing the DS 更多 convenient but I still probably will. Maybe help my roommate complete the Pokedex 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
My roommate and sister dragged me back into Pokemon Go. My trainer code 1156 7110 6840 for anyone who wants to add me 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Im so forwardly in 爱情 with birds 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
AQUA IS OFFICIALLY A BOSS FIGHT IN KH3 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Me: Yeah theres a lot of biking in Davis

Oldest Sister: I told 你 there was a lot of biking in college

Me: No 你 dont understand

Me: Davis is a whole new level

Me: Just 谷歌 UC Davis Bike

Me: Just look out your window at Davis

Me: Davis is a bike 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Its kinda nice that the torturous longing to be able to hug and cuddle and be with my boyfriend has been replaced with an excitement to go 首页 and be with him in just a week of being here.

I really miss him and we can do so much when I get back XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I'm honestly just so lucky to have him. The distance honestly kinda makes me appreciate even the smallest things even more. 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
But yeah Im not really the type of person who should have been out of therapy for over three months straight 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
你 are going to be starting it again now that Summer is over. Right? 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
If I can work through Davis 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
TFW 你 are unsure whether 你 are just really bad at recognizing your own emotions 或者 really good at lying / convincing yourself that one emotion is the 下一个 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Cause lowkey had a bit of a breakdown over the thing mentioned below and I know my need to stay active is a hugeeee front and the boredom is a HUUUGEEE red herring to keep myself from actually having to feel / think about my feelings 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
The thing is, even after a bit of a crack in it, I still dont know what Im blocking out, what, 或者 why and for the time period that I was extremely distressed about boredom, I genuinely thought I was depressed cos I was bored cos thats a thing for me but like, I can bet 你 I was depressed for some other reason and I only started to feel it cause I wasnt busy and was distressed cos I was feeling depressed and was using the scapegoat of boredom so I could ignore my own issue 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
God Im bored 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Im not even a week into college and Im already bored of it. >.> 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
It doesnt help my mind isnt in a "Have fun and relax" mode and thus dont feel comfortable / motivated doing anything fun which means I cant get into a game 或者 日本漫画 或者 日本动漫 或者 anythign even if I forced myself to 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Im HONESTLY going to burn out so fast if Im like this for much longer 或者 if I cant relax on the weekend 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
That feeling when your shy introverted roommates have a larger will / want to make 更多 老友记 than 你 XD

I just am too lazy and dont have people Im interested in yet XD

Ive got invited to like... two 或者 three parties already XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Sorry if I dont talk too much to people I usually would XD Ive been busy and distracted to keep up with my normal online routine XD 发布 一年多以前
Shukuya 评论…
No problem 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
Hey,as long as 你 still here that’s all it matters. 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^ This. It is understandable, Rikubun. No need to even mention it !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Me: Imma take a bit of a nap 20 分钟 cause Im super tired and I never end up napping for 更多 than a few minutes

*two hours later*

Me: FUCK ITS 4PM AND I MISSED 日 ONE OF SCH- Oh wait. Huh. *talks to roommate for like two minutes* Imma just curl up for like five 分钟 或者 something

*five 分钟 later*

Roommate: We should probably go eat soon since we have to leave in a bit

Me: Yeah sure around five

Roommate: It is five. 你 fell asleep an 小时 以前 发布 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
The 床, 床上 must be so comfy xD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Its alright XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I was just super exhausted 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
So this is gonna be a copy paste from what I texted people on messenger but college story time 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Also dude. Someones bike flipped and they flew off it cos a janitor bumped the back of their bike with their vehicle and she - the rider - totally skinned her knee really badly and was bleeding a lot 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Karma has its very own pace and ways of rewarding. Glad things worked out for both of 你 !!!! 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
That was weird xD Hope it's just a beginners welcoming XD be 安全 Riku<3 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I honestly just feel happy and comfortable when I can really help the people around me that I care about. ITs one of my easier ways of 展示 affection and all, and if people can come to me for help and I can help them, it just makes me feel respected and liked.

Maybe its a bit wrong, since its a dynamic that could get unhealthy, but in moderation I feel like its fine 发布 一年多以前
Shukuya 评论…
I think you're doing great 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Update: Quickly getting my good biking legs back 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly if Im not on much its cause Im moving in and doing school prep and figuring life out at college and all and I just feel odd being on my computer much now XD 发布 一年多以前
Rihanna312 评论…
linkI`m just gonna leave this link here for when 你 get back on, in case 你 haven`t seen this yet ^_^ 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Awww XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Wow my whole dorm room is the " 5' 1(.5)" girls with dysfunctional families bringing trauma and bad pasts to UC Davis hoping for 更多 luck and a fresh start here " 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
My roommate is a wonderful person and I 爱情 her XD We are gonna have a fun 年 发布 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
^Since when (her) means boy? xD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
^ Plus platonically 爱情 XD Also Im bi / ace af so gender doesnt matter for me 一年多以前
Shukuya 评论…
Sorry about that i didn't noticed!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
On a scale of one to ten, do 你 want to die?
On a scale of one to ten, do 你 want to die?
But if 你 want to die
你 cant afford a funeral
So sadly I must say, 你 can not die 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Honestly its not that bad for me but feels man 一年多以前
Shukuya 评论…
Life is game, dying means quiting it and I never quit a game 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Me and my roommate are whining and complaining about medical shit and college shit and assholes who write their own textbooks every 年 and make their students buy them 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
... well I was gonna make a Luka + Flugelhorn 图标 but I cant 上传 it >.> 发布 一年多以前
JetBlack__ 评论…
Oh ! why? 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
潮流粉丝俱乐部 glitching 一年多以前
8theGreat 评论…
I dig it 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Seriously though I just 爱情 my college band. So hyped for Monday Practice this Monday XD They make me feel loved and welcome. Its great not being the mom for the first time and just being the 'kid' of the band since 你 get that really nice older sibling feel and that "we have your back" feeling that I havent had in a while.

They are honestly wonderful people. 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
That is wonderful to know !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
As for a college update, Im moving in tomorrow XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
TFW 你 spend all 日 playing online games with your boyfriend since 你 both have the 日 off and 你 still miss him XD Its honestly lowkey great to miss him like this. It both means Ive made great progress in mental health, that I really did 爱情 him, makes the smallest things feel like the largest, and honestly just makes me 更多 fond.

It sucks but like... Ive never been so happy 或者 excited to play Fortnite 或者 Stardew 或者 anything before. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I realize that when 食物 is now on my own money, I eat a lot less of it XD Its probably for the better tho cos like... I eat 更多 than I should XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly its quite a great thing that Im missing my boyfriend XD Its a huge improvement from what I used to be like with my mental health. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Annnnd now I need to figure out something to keep me busy and entertained the 下一个 two days in a city I dont know, without a car, and with dead legs from band camp XD

Ill figure it out but for now Imma sit cos my legs are dead XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I AM BACK AND THE BAND IS GREAT.

#YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
WELCOME BACK! XD That is good to know !!!! 一年多以前