Riku114 Wall

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Riku114 说 …
So uh.... someone reported the basis of the emotionally and verbally abusive shit my dad currently does? But the thing is it isnt towards me and its mostly settled??

So now I have to deal with this social worker up my 屁股 and trying to talk to my family about this???

Like.... really???

Only two people out of my boyfriend know about it and both make little sense?? 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Like.... who??? 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Oh I found out XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Okay so update. Back when my dad was entirely dismissive and called me "stupid" when I mentioned to him and my mom that I was suicidal and shit in a bit of a snap, and I mentioned that and the rest of the fight to my therapist and he contacted the school to 报道 that I am not in a 安全 place and there is emotional abuse going on. They apparently 说 it isnt reportable until this Monday where they changed their mind about it 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
BUT THEY THOUGHT MY DADS NAME WAS RICHARD. GET IT. RICHARD. DICK. THEY THOUGHT MY DADS NAME WAS DICK SO I LAUGHED TOO HARD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Shit man. Im starting to fall down the rabbit hole of Marvel. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Yall I dont want to gain another HUGE series to keep track of :v 星, 星级 Wars added to it and :v 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Like Im feeling urged to go back and actually fully watch the Iron Man 电影院 rather than half assing them too :v 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
That's good though. Embrace Marvel, Riku. 你 know 你 want to !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Fun story time. I dont really remember the details too well, but like... three 或者 four years ago, I was having some kind of a high anxiety day. I dunno if it was a panic attack that I didnt know of, an anxiety attack, 或者 some traumatic shit 或者 anything, but I was experiencing high anxiety and was excessively zoned out as to cope with it, and some guy came to like... touch me, hug me, 或者 pat me 或者 something 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
So like... I had a 秒 或者 two of panic where I shoved him up against the railing of the upper floor and was like... a 秒 或者 two away from instinctually pushing him over the railing of the 秒 floor before I snapped out of it and somehow managed to play it off as a joke 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Like I dont know HOW I played it off without any 问题 asked cos I pushed him like a good 5-10 feet to get him to the railing and I wouldnt be shocked if I had a crazed look XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Nah I didnt look sad. I have a resting 婊子, 子 face no matter what emotion Im feeling 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
RIP all my classes from today 前锋, 期待 tho XD My brain officially went from like 90% checked out, to like 100% checked out for the rest of the school 年 when I finished my AP Government test (even tho I still have an AP Econ test on Wednesday XD) 发布 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
Awesome. Be lazy time? 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Lazy is life 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, the sheer degree of which I like Stephen Strange is.... STRANGE.

Like I watched the movie, enjoyed it a lot, but he wasnt all too high on my list, but out of no where suddenly Im just as hyped to see him on screen as the long term Marvel 最喜爱的 of mine - Loki?

And I just get that natural "Hes a favorite" feel, but I dont know exactly why..?

I mean Imma make Wanta watch it and I wanna watch it to analyze and see why I might like him XD But still. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
My memory is iffy but maybe I kinda relate to him? Who knows. I know I do have some similarities 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I really dont have the ability to be comfortable saying I like a character just cos I like them. I need to be able to know what in specific I like :v 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
你 know, if 你 think about it, being a hero, a famous hero, just honestly isnt fair. Its borderline toxic. At the point that someone becomes a famous hero, the pressure to constantly be the hero and be responsible of helping others and saving the 日 just would consume the life of the 'hero'

Sure they are saving people and being great people, but it comes at the cost of their limited existence.

When 你 think about it like that, 你 have to pity superheroes 发布 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
oh they undeniably have it pretty bad. 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
As an idealist, I can assure 你 gets rough having the pressure to always remain upbeat XD 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
IKR if I was a ‘hero’ I’d probably like idk 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
I think I adequately fucked with Riku's mind right before she went to sleep. I'm satisfied with that 发布 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Why does Faba not have a Flygon? 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I AM BEING SHAMED FOR HAVING AN ESTIMATE OF 300-450 ENGLISH SONGS PICKED OUT ON THAT LIST.

FIRSTLY, THATS ONLY LIKE THE 最佳, 返回页首 OF THEM EACH

SECONDLY, I ADMIT IM A 音乐 JUNKIE, BUT COMPARED TO SOME PEOPLE I KNOW AND ZANHAR, IM A CUTE BABY 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
THIRDLY, I HAVE AN INSTUMENTAL PLAYLIST PROBABLY 9X LONGER, A JAPANESE PLAYLIST ABOUT THE SAME LENGTH (guessing), AND A KOREAN PLAYLIST THAT IS PROBABLY A BIT SMALLER 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
THIS IS NOTHING 锄, 锄头 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
*cough* My irl 老友记 have no place judging me :v 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
My USB currently has 225 songs in the English folder. 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, people in my school make fun of me for only listening to 'weeb' music, but truth is I probably like 更多 English songs than most of the people saying that. Im a 音乐 junkie. Its just I have so much I like that downloading all of it is overwhelming :v 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^ #Relatable !!!! 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
音乐 is just really nice. 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Without this 音乐 I don’t know how I would’ve fought this - Lane Boy |-/ 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Ha. My English teacher had us 'read' like six 图书 in preparation for the AP Exam essay, then I did my mock on Romeo and Juliet (one that wasnt one of the six) and I 说 Id probably do it on the AP Exam cos I know that one better than I should

She 说 I shouldnt because its been a while since I read it and since it doesnt cover all the topics that well and should study the other 图书 (not that I even studied R&J) 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
But fuck that XD Totally wrote my essay on Romeo and Juliet XD I know that piece too well solely cause its famous, cos I read Tybalt two years 以前 and really liked his character 更多 than I should have, watched an 日本动漫 version of the play (which btw, had the plot changed a lot, I recommend the anime), and cos its jsut a good piece to analyze off of since a lot of stories can take a lot of inspiration and similarities off of it 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Even one of my side stories has a lot of parallels I didn't really intentionally do 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^ YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Despite never really watching the movie 或者 anything, Ive always been attached to the idea and things themed / inspired from Alice in Wonderland 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Same honestly. Have always found its whole concept fascinating !!!! 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Me too! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Im sorry Im like.... on a tired high.

I only got 3 hours of sleep for a really busy 日 XD

If I say weird stuff, enjoy XD 发布 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
TIRED RIKU! DON'T APOLOGIZE! COME OUT FURTHER! DO MORE! 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
If I talk too much I might start casually talk about murder 或者 shit. Im in a demented tired :v 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
A tired high? Oh so that’s what 你 call it. That happens to me as well. So excuse any crazy stuff I say... I’m out of it a lot 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Seriously Riku needs to stop being all ansty about it and accept my offer to let her stab me with one of her knives. I mean sheesh. It's a flesh wound. MAYBE liver injury at worst. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Keep talking weird shit like that and itll be in the head 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
jk jk 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, I am not going to lie. I am 'crazy' and 'insane'. I used to be even 更多 so, but honestly even now I still can be. I've gone to the point of naming myself something else. I've talked way too excessively with people in my head, one of which tried to convince me I was a god before I realized I was getting way too off the rocker.

I've thought of excessively sadistic things with no guilt 或者 shame to back it up. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Personally, I strongly accept that part of me. The closer 你 get to me, the 更多 creepy and unsettling things 你 might find my mind causing. But its honestly something I accept of myself. I am definately working out of it since it isn't a GOOD thing to be like this, but its not something Im going to let harm my esteem 或者 hold against myself 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I dont disclose too much of specifics of how... off... I can get at times since theres no need for that to spill out onto here, because I always sound like a psycho edgelord and I find that cringey, and because personally I dont like to attribute it to my 总体, 整体 character. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
But yeah thats just kinda a ramble 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I want sleep 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
你 NEED sleep !!!! 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
Sleep? 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
ya deserve sleep so much 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
"If that's the case, then 你 owe it to yourself to pick apart the games 你 LOVE, not just the ones 你 hate."

爱情 that. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Person: Im so stressed out Imma pull out my hair!

Me, a person with Trichotillomania: https://tinyurl.com/y8fvjeqz 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Honestly, I'm not the type to be like "OMG 你 ARE MAKING LITTLE OF MY DISORDER" because Trich is pretty poorly covered and that is a common saying, but I still kinda just take a pause whenever I hear it 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Cos like... 婊子, 子 I doubt 你 are literally gonna pull out your hair :v Stop appropriating my culture 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Jk jk 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I just find it funny-ish whenever I hear that line 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
I text Riku too much. Confirmed. RIP 发布 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Ha I bet ya do! Y’all are so close! :) 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
*deep breath* *sigh* Honestly, searching for a roommate is a pain in the 屁股 with my family issues and vulnerability issues and just my 总体, 整体 trust issues and stuff. Like I know I'll be fine regardless and I'll make 老友记 and all just fine. Its just my brain being stupid about it while I'm waiting for a reply combined with how this whole "I cant just get this done with" stuff does not fit with me who likes to get things done with before moving onto the next. 发布 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Good luck buddy. Try not to listen when 你 tell yourself stuff like that. You’ll get through it and everything will work out. :). [Wow. Listen to me, little motivationist. I’m trying.] Stay Alive |-/ 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Nah, to be honest, the things that concern me are genuine issues I need to keep in check. Some of the issues I have with making irl 老友记 are deep rooted with family issues of mine and I actually genuinely do sabotage them myself with how my anxiety and stuff reacts to certain things. Its a work in progress and all and I know Ill get through it XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Its just a stinkin pain in the asssss 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 说 …
Hi I’m back! A few days is like a 年 when 你 live here 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Welcome back 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, Im waiting for 更多 information on Osoro Shidesu specifically from Yandere Simulator. Cos honestly right now she kinda borders relatable, but there is so little actually 给 out on her character.

Im super interested tho. 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
She looks interesting. Has a pretty cool appearance too !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
So got back from Infinity War.

Not nearly as depressing 或者 sad as like.... 99% of people make it out to be. Maybe its the fact I bathe in tragedy 或者 because I write stories and tragedy as much as I do, but it didnt really hit me too hard.

Also rather predictable if 你 ask me. Like I wasnt shocked 或者 surprised with anything other than the abrupt ending. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
With that being said. I loveeeed the movie. It was great and I honestly like how the first like... half of the movie had my 收藏夹 XD Thor, Loki, Dr. Strange, and Guardians of the Galaxy. Just awesome XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Oh and Stark. Thats the other one. XD 最佳, 返回页首 Five Marvel Characters. ((Yes GoG is counted as one imo XD)) 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Great to know. Looking 前锋, 期待 to seeing it myself !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
My dad pissed me off. My dad just wants us to keep breeding my bird and wonders why we arent letting Smokey breed and every time we tell him its not healthy for them, its abusive to make them breeders for money, and that it adds to the problem that most parrots go to shitty homes, he just scoffs.

I called him out at constantly scoffing at it and hes like "You could make money"

So like. Fuck that greedy 屁股 bastard. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Ill stuff that asshole in a cage with a woman and force them to have children for money. See how he fucking likes it. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Not really but still. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I dont HATE him as much as I sound like I do. I just refuse to forgive him 或者 give him any leeway 或者 even truly see him as my dad / family until he gets his behavior straightened a bit and honestly and genuinely makes amends and realizes how shitty of a person he was / still sometimes is 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, smart charismatic people are some of the last people 你 want to trust. They can analyze people way too well, and with charisma, they can pull strings way too well to make things happe-

.... oh shit wait. 发布 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Lol! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Also a 随意 fact

Birds are literally dinosaurs

I raise baby 恐龙 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Also, 你 doubt it until 你 hear what baby cockatiels sound like. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
link 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Also 随意 fact about Riku

On an average, I make sure to get at least 30-60 分钟 of bird 视频 within each day.

It makes me happy. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
On another note, as I begin talking of my plans for the future and all, the rate of which my 爱情 and knowledge on birds began to become well known rapidly sped up

At this point, I can now expect that if I hear any talk of birds between two people and there seems to be disagreement 或者 uncertainty of facts, that within five 分钟 Ill hear "Hey Riku! 你 are the bird expert, give us some info on this topic!" across the room 发布 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
It’s expected 由 now I imagine:) 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Im just shaking my head here at this argument between two people over Akashi.

One side is arguing "Akashi doesnt care for team work and bringing people together and only cares about winning." The other side is arguing "No, Akashi is all for team work and bring people together. Its one of his strongest characteristics and his main role in his team."

And Im just like.... Neither of 你 are right 或者 wrong. 你 are just ignoring an entire half of his character. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Like I dont even know how they just ignore one side 或者 the other. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Honestly I really need to see "The Last Game" since there is a lot 更多 interaction between Bokushi and Oreshi. 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
GONNA WATCH INFINITY WAR TODAY.

#HYPE 发布 一年多以前
BlindBandit92 评论…
It was a great movie. 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^ #ThanosDemandsYourSilence 哈哈 !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Annnd my dad didnt understand me when I 说 we had to leave early cos itd be busy / sold out XD So going tomorrow! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Decided to take the trumpet solo in the Game of Thrones theme for Zeppie cos she seemed happy enough that we were playing it, I figured Id do that in her name as well. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, Im tired as hell despite me constantly sleeping at least an 小时 或者 two early most nights.

I am really just a permanently exhausted and tired bun.

I just want a good night to sleep and all.

.... did I not have a weekend to rest 或者 something? I dont really remember 5 days back XD 发布 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
take care of ya riku =( and try to sleep if ya can , want to see ya healthy 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^ This, pretty much. Make sure 你 rest whenever 你 are able to. Still hyped for #RelaxedRikubun at some point !!!! 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 说 …
嘿 this probably sounds really weird but I 爱情 你 guys. Feel free to ignore this if 你 want. Most people either feel very uncomfortable 或者 just don’t understand.
Stay Alive |-/ 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Its cool dood XD 一年多以前
nightiee 评论…
你 too 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Most people could feel uncomfortable but I doubt that they wouldn't understand. Your feelings are much appreciated. Right back at 你 !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
So in my school we have this thing called a Senior Exit Project required to let us graduate and all where we have to present a powerpoint to a panel of teachers about our plans and all

I dont get why everyone is freaking out, trying to memorize it, and some barely passing it.

I did little to no preparation other than setting up the power point and just 由 talking about what I did for my Job Shadow and why I wanna do what I wanna do, I got a perfect score on the mock 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Relax. Talk genuinely and tell them what 你 feel and mean. Its not that hard. I get the shy introverts struggling with it, but even some of the large known extroverts are stressing out 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Good job. I bet you’re glad that’s over thou! |-/ 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly if I watched Madoka Magica again I feel Id relate to Kyoko 更多 than I did the first time 发布 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
I could see 你 relating a LIL bit to Mai from Ghost Hunt 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Kyoko has always been one of the Characters that interested me the most in this Series. I am pretty curious about which Character I could mostly relate myself when I finally continue and go even further with this 日本动漫 !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Yeah honestly though, I am such an extrovert.

Now that Im not a ball of anxiety, depression, angst, and massive distrust, I find that a lot of my goals surround people and having them around me and being a speaker and stuff.

Im not even an ambivert. Im a strict extrovert XD Just a highly selective one at that. 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
link 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Wow 5hats pretty cool 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
❤️ 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Alright Im back. And with an emote of my own. -x- 发布 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
哈哈 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Good to know. Welcome back !!!! 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
welcome back wanta! 一年多以前
sunny
TheLefteris24 说 …
Attention everyone! ''Rikubun'' has been added to the 列表 of Nicknames available for Riku. I would like to make this Official. Fluffy Rikubun will certainly be referred to as such from now on.

KANPAI !!!! 发布 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Got it :^; 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Uh what was that I just did?! 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^ Are 你 talking about the Emoji 你 made? It certainly seems unusual. A Typo, I guess? 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Yup. 哈哈 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 说 …
<3 thanks for the hope 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Keep the hope alive. <3 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Preach 🙏 !!!! 一年多以前
nightiee 评论…
Keep the 锄, 锄头 alive 一年多以前
2ntyoneplts 评论…
Oh Satan! XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I always wanna write but dont have the energy and/or the creative flow XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Gosh Im tired XD Im still good and all tho guys. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Sorry about all the trauma talk out here lately XD I usually like to keep things fun and all, but Ive been too busy to be full on obsessed with anything, and dealing with trauma has been one of my largest focuses and goals these days XD

I dont any of 你 mind but I wanted to put that out there. 发布 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
don`t say sorry riku we understand it totally 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^ !!!! 一年多以前
BlindBandit92 评论…
riku it's your club. You're entitled to do anything 你 want. It's a blog of sorts. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
XD I know. I just wanted to put it out there 一年多以前
sunny
TheLefteris24 说 …
Also......

HAIL HYDRA !!!! 发布 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
xD leftie 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
XD !!!! 一年多以前
sunny
TheLefteris24 说 …
#PidgeonLivesMatterToo !!!! 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
#PigeonLivesMatterToo 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^ Preach !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
So I asked my therapist out of curiosity and all, and I do have PTSD apparently. 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
I see. It makes a lot of sense when thinking about it !!!! 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Just gotta keep urging Riku to shoot someone in broad daylight. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Aye 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Riku: The Highly Selective Extrovert. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I actually saw that while scrolling Tumblr and I think that 描述 fits me VERY well XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Better than Ambivert tbh XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
WOW MY DAD JUST DID THE MOST CARING THING I EVER HEARD HIM DO IN ALL MY CHILDHOOD

HE OFFERED TO GO ON A WALK WITH MY MOM TO GET HER OUT OF THE HOUSE WHEN SHES DISTRESSED COS OF MY SISTER 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
omg

My mom and dad are watching a horror 显示 about where parents go crazy and try to kill their children and my dads like "Its like your husband" 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
At least we now know hes aware 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
I... Kinda have my concerns about your father watching Horror Shows... 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
^Eh... hes a child 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
What I planned on doing:
-Get all the last Z Crystals in Pokemon
-Write another piece to my stories
-Write RPs
-Relax
-Play Hitman and other Steam
-Take today off to relax and have fun as I rejected activities to do so

What I got done:
-Six scholarships
-Researched and planned out 更多 of my college stuff
-Got my Health homework done
-Researched 随意 stuff
-Finished two essays for an application
-Finished everything I can do right now for Davis 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I had a super productive day, but Im not satisfied since I barely got anything at all I planned today done XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I did one post to the RP and like... Kinda took some Flight Rising time but thats not really there either? XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
UC Davis: For a chance at a $1000-4000 scholarship, write an essay on your leadership experiences and how it affected 你 and will continue to help 你 in the future

Me: *flips through 900 things I could talk about cos leadership has played a major role in my life and Im super thankful for it and very passionate over it* 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Dude, Id write a 14 page essay on Leadership for free 婊子, 子 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Like I literally might even be dead if I never found myself in a leadership position some how. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
PLUS IF THEY ACCEPT ME THEY WILL BRING ME IN FOR AN INTERVIEW AND I LIKE THAT KIND OF STUFF ESPECIALLY IF ITS ON THE TOPIC OF LEADERSHIP 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Personally, I dont really believe too much in not chasing what I want. Its part of the reason I cant sit and relax too much, but if I determine I want something, I weigh out how badly Im willing to want it, then charge full on ahead.

I make excuses from time to time, but if I cant get something done in the long run, its often capable to blame myself for not taking action. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
At least partially blame myself that is. There is a level of rationality to how much one can and cannot control 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, I personally wonder where I stand on the trauma scale. I know I probably fit under the "traumatized" title, but I dont really know if I actually fit one of the trauma disorders. Its something Ill probably ask my therapist 或者 psychiatrist about at some point. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I'm probably a lot better now. Had a really bad moment related to shitty stuff of the past and all but direclty after a lot of the depression and massive amounts of anxiety withdrew for the most part. Ive been shakey when I wake up for the past few days, but I think Im good so for anyone worried 或者 concerned, I should be fine.

Thank 你 so much to everyone who watched out for me and helped. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Some part of the whole fiasco with Wanta 'triggered' something I think and it kind of let 更多 of my really bad mental state thats usually disappears when Im online carried in 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Im back to normal I think. And now that I see a massive unprocessed wound, Ill probably take goals to addressing it in my 下一个 therapy session and individually on my own. 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
It is certainly good to know about the progress that has been made and will continue to do so. For the both of you, I hope. Always here when needed, Riku. We 爱情 你 too !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
We officially have a baby bird. 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
NOICE! A NEW MEMBER IN THE FLOCK! CONGRATULATIONS, FANPOP'S LOCAL BIRDKEEPER !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
We might have two 一年多以前
GDragon612 评论…
congrats riku our birdmum =D *throws confetti and open a bottle of chamapaigne*, for the non alcoholics 果汁 xD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
#StartingTheHitmanSeriesFromTheLastGame 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly though.

Akashi I am officially going to call my 最喜爱的 character from now on. He super deserves it. He absolutely does deserve it. Outside of loving the character, he has always been consistently a significant figure in helping me process and work through issues, helping me make the right decision, calming down, self reflecting, etc.

And fun fact, his 视频 can calm down one of my poor mental states so quickly and successfully 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
That I have this thing on my phone called "Emergency Akashi" since I could be in a really bad mental state and if I recognize it, Akashi 视频 can almost always return that bad mental state to AT LEAST a neutral 或者 calm and managable mental state 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Even if his character sucked ass, the fact one fictional item could have helped me so much through my mental health journey and all, it alone is deserving of it 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Yeah Im doing better now but honestly, I still need to take time to chill. Who knows I might wake up and have another bad time 或者 something. I cant be sure but Imma take it somewhat easy. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I apologize if it takes me a bit to get back to being my old energetic and peppy self I like to be on here and usually am.

The 最近的 events through me into a bad loop and pool that might take a while to fully get out of.

Im alright though. I just don't feel in the right place to have the energy and exorbitant positivity I usually do. Its not anything Wanta did 或者 anything Im pretty sure.

Thank 你 to everyone that has been putting effort into this situation and helping me out. 发布 一年多以前
Zeppie 评论…
Take all the time 你 need. 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
It is understandable really. Take your time, Riku !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Feeling better ish rn 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
A little 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Figuring out which Akashi 图标 to use when 你 have so many is hard. 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Literally every time I want to display a new 图标 showcasing 收藏夹 of mine. It takes a while !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
For me I have to like the 图标 and have that feeling like my mood at the moment likes the 图标 either cos it represent it 或者 because it soothes 或者 it just feels fitting at the time 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Its liking it and then finding one that I feel is kinda nice at the moment and like the look of how it looks when I post 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Same here XD Relatabilty is a major factor when I am going to display an Icon. It makes things all the 更多 harder honestly with such a variety !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I can always rely on Akashi and KnB to neutralize shitty mental health crap. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
随意 Anxiety: "I want to die."

Me: How about no 你 over-dramatic sensitive edgelord? Take your damn 屁股 medicine 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I don't have time this morning to read through the uh... five 或者 six messages since on early start days I always wake up for just barely enough time to work through my regular routine.

But I see there is a lot of misunderstanding the in meaning and intent of the words.

And also, I figured with how often Ive talked about my issues with relationships with other people before addressing it with them to 你 specifically, that 你 knew the difference between mine and Zeppie's stance 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I dont believe in going directly to the friend if the situation is serious 或者 important enough. Doing that is how 你 make bad, emotional, and irrational ideas off of current feelings. For major and very important issues, it is best to go to other people for 建议 and a 秒 opinion. Ive always lived 由 that and only kept my avoidance of following it for Zeppie in specific since she gets majorly hurt 由 it otherwise. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I wanted to say that one for everyone who reads this. 一年多以前
BlindBandit92 评论…
Honestly I might be out of turn. But if something is really important. I wouldn't make an exception. It might seems like I would be a dick 或者 something. But I rather be a dick than let a problem fester with no easy way 或者 solving it. 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
Feel free to say your peace as much as 你 like, Blind. Riku apparently won't talk to me about it for another 小时 so...*shrug* 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Everyone gets all upset when things that aren't directly related to the story in Pokemon games are not post game. I loved 加入 Avenue from Black 2 and White 2. I loved where they placed it and found it entirely relevant and helpful 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
你 know, one of the shittiest things about mental health, especially as a kid and teenager, is that it steals away your childhood.

A lot of people have good memories of their high school life, they remember the fun with their friends, they remember all the fun risks and activities they did...

But when it comes to mental health, 你 just kind of have all those times stolen.

I personally realize... As a senior, I'm far too late to regather them

But Ill cherish what I have. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Ill be happy that I have it right now and not let what I have left go to waste because of what I already 迷失 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I do wish I could have my childhood back, heck I wish I could REMEMBER my childhood again, but theres no point in crying over spilt milk. Past is past, its time to accept it and 移动 on. 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I owe people in my highschool 更多 credit and appreciation than I give them since I've spent most of my time around them being a reserved, angsty, emotionally-scared child.

Like one of my 老友记 from 7th grade... never really opened up at all to him. Apparently I was a huge inspiration and role model for him. We talked a lot but it was really one sided

或者 the trumpet brother of mine I'm not dating. He dealt with so much of my stupid jokes and I 爱情 him. Hes family. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Those two really helped me out even if it was no where near direct. Honestly, they both opened their doors to me if I ever needed to escape my house even though they dont even know the tiniest tip of the iceberg of how horrible my house can and could get 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Ill be honest. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
For the first time, Ill say it. I will miss them. I will be sad. But its not bad. Its kind of nice. 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Geesh. Lucy - The Eternity She Wished For is a super sad story

#FeelsBad

#Sad 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
College: Has your dad been physically present in California for at least three years-

Me: Not emotionally present but sure I guess hes been physically present 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
"And squaring numbers are just like women, if they are under thirteen just.. do them in your head" ~ Bo Burnham 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Thats actually going to be my 俱乐部 new quote 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
True, I suppose !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
My body is so damn worn out XD

Going to the fitness center for like 45 分钟 is always good for when the brain is being stupid. 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
#Relatable !!!! 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
It is great to know Riku. Exercise will do 你 pretty good !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Heres to never having heard your dad ever say the word "love" "care" 或者 "proud" to 你 in a positive way over the seventeen almost eighteen years of being alive.

Heres to him instead liking to get violent and yelling when anyone even remotely asks for him to say something remotely similar to it

Heres to him getting your therapist to give up after thirty 分钟 of being asked to compliment you. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
At the very least I get "good jobs" here and there for doing good things regarding his money and my money. Its something. 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
TFW 你 get hit 由 a sudden wave of mild depression and anxiety and are about to post about it

Then realize 你 forgot to take your anxiety medication this breakfast and thats probably part of it. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, I dont think I can watch the new season of 邪恶力量 或者 really much of any of it until I deal with my issues entirely.

It brings back bad flashes of really bad coping mechanisms and mental states I used to way too heavily relate to back when I practically binge watched it.

Sam and Dean are strong members of my relatable character list, but theres a reason for it. Some of those 语录 hit way too close to 首页 and their dynamic feels too personal. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Like anyone else get that 'flash' feeling in their head when something reminds them of something unpleasant 或者 tempts to bring 你 back into a 前一个 bad mental state? Like 你 dont actually fall back to it, but 你 feel the pull for a 秒 in your head and its kinda uncomfortable but not immensely so? 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Like a mini panic of a warning? 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
XD this is just a 问题 for anyone XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
@Me a 年 以前 saying "Am I the only one that wonders when my signature would randomly become something fancy? Like adults seem to always have one (parents and all) and some of my classmates have one then theres me thats all like "What is cursive?"

Yes, it did happen. I dont know when but it did 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly going through my 墙 for an 文章 is interesting cos firstly, this 图标 makes all the posts super hilarious and secondly, because Im really realizing how horrifically depressed I was.

Even 更多 shocking since I actually tried not to post it on here too much and to keep it subtle.

Honestly super concerned for my past self 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Me: Okay I literally wasted an 小时 of my time doing the most stupid and wasteful things. Before I can feel comfortable doing osmething slightly unproductive but also not stupid and wasteful, I have to do something fully productive. *groan* Ugh fine 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Flights Rising is literally the largest waste of my time but I still do it so much XD 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
That's me with whatever 随意 app has my interest for the 月 XD 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, I have a weird relationship with change. I hate change coming into my life up until it hits me and there is no return. Cos once I jump straight into it 或者 get run over 由 whatever change came my way, I just kind of go 100% into it and embrace it to the point I 爱情 it.

Im someone really happy and comfortable with my natural normal schedule, but Im also someone who likes to take change as an opportunity to massively fix things. So its just interesting. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Im officially committed to UC Davis XD

God I have to many massively long trips coming up in the future 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
That is great to know. Wish 你 all the best Riku. Have a good progress most of all !!!! 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Pokemon knew what they were doing when they let 你 name your rival. Honestly it's the most cathartic release. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
IM FINALLY 首页 AFTER A 15 小时 ROUND TRIP OF DRIVING OVER A LIKE 35 TRIP OVERALL.

IM FINALLY NOT SITTING

...

and Im back at my computer. :) Nice. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Maybe even 16 hours idk XD 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Welcome back XD !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, being a "leader" is a great feeling and isnt something Id really ever want to give up. I always 爱情 having a team that I can work with and helping them / maximizing their potentials and getting work done and all.

Plus the respect and ability to influence another person's life positively is always nice. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Watching a PS4 gamer try PC Gaming for the first time is hilarious. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Currently off in Davis checking out UC Davis today and tomorrow. Took like... an eight 小时 drive to get here but Im here. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
link

Please do take and enjoy.

Wanta and I put a lot of work into it XD 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
I certainly did enjoyed it. Well done, to both of 你 !!!! 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Riku confirmed that Professor Oak is a Totem Pokemon in Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon and can be unlocked with a sticker. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
There is something really wonderful about learning about yourself in all ways possible. Looking deep inside yourself and finding all the good, bad, weaknesses, and strengths and accepting them. Its really wonderful to be honest.

I never loved myself 更多 than when I started doing this.

It hurts like Lucifer's wrath on steroids at first, but the longer and longer 你 do it... the 更多 magical and wonderful and secure and confident 你 feel. 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
It is certainly wonderful recognizing that. As I 说 before, pretty admirable !!!! 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Seeing 你 making those positive remarks alone feels pretty satisfying to me as well :') !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
God Im tired XD 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Being tired honestly isnt good for my mental state Im guessing. Go wonder XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Im alright tho. Its just amusing the amount of intrusive thoughts Ive been playing baseball with 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
#StrikeAllThoseHomeruns 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Relatable XD !!!! 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Riku is oppressing me! 发布 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Never name your Pokemon after mental issues.

Duskull used Foresight.

Codependance was identified.

Me: "...." 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
:v 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly, if I got into Harry Potter, Id probably fall in 爱情 with Snape. The issue however is that Harry Potter is everywhere. After 星, 星级 Wars and Kylo, I fear having two 流行的 series holding characters I 爱情 发布 一年多以前
BlindBandit92 评论…
你 would 爱情 Snape. Snape would be hands down your favorite. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
He currently is from the little, tiny bit I know from the series XD 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^^ I agree about Snape as well. He certainly is your kind of Character XD !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Jeesh. Yuki Kajura is an amazing composer. Pandora Hearts OST, Fate OST, Madoka Magica OST, Sword Art Online OST, Tsubasa Chronicles OST.

Those are all some of my 最喜爱的 works geesh.

*knows 更多 日本动漫 osts than animes* 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
I have listened to some of them and I agree that there are quite a few amazing Tracks. Pretty interested to check out the rest !!!! 一年多以前
BlindBandit92 评论…
You've listened to the fate ost even though 你 haven't really seen the anime? 哈哈 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
你 continue to sin, Riku. Not that I cannot understand that but still 哈哈 !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
I decided and I am committing to it.

I am going to process through my trauma and try to see if I can clear the fog on my memories and bring back, experience, remember, and accept what happened for everything it is.

Its not going to be fun, but I want to be able to pull myself back together before I leave off to college.

Honestly the hard part is though I only get really bad over my trauma when its abruptly brought up. I dont really get connected to it much on command 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
The thing about trauma though, especially at a young age, is that it steals away a lot of yourself and a lot of your ability to be an entire person. 你 forget a lot. 你 loose your history and your past. 你 loose your childhood. 你 loose your sense of identity. 你 become a grandly incomplete person 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I really cant be me at my full potential until I work through it fully so as much as I hate it, I want to do the most with my life. 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
That is quite an admirable way to look at things, Riku. Making peace with the past is a major step towards one's Improvement. I too believe 你 can do it. There is no doubt about that !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Honestly one of the things i appreciate the most in 老友记 and people close to me are people who have experienced stuggle and can manage and handle it well.

I really appreciate and like that since they usually do good with 建议 and keeping me under control when Im at my worst. c: 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I often, especially in thr past, need people who can handle and keep things in a good perspective while keeping me from doing anything stupid off of stress 或者 anything 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Cos I can lack self control at times and have too many demons on my shoulder. Its kinda why I like Lefteris a lot. Hes my "positive echo chamber". Hes full of nice health lines to encourage positive growth. 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
I am all about encouraging one's Growth XD It helps when I feel myself strongly relating with 说 person. I am always here for you, Riku ^_^ !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
DUDE. POKEMON GENERATIONS LOOKS SICK.

THEY A ADDRESSED POKEMON BLACK 2 AND WHITE 2 SCENE SO NICE.

IMMA WATCH IT. 发布 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Wantadog's depressing introspective about Love.

爱情 is nice when 你 think of it like "Oh two people who were meant for each other" but sadly the case is that when they say true 爱情 is one in a million, they mean it. 90% of relationships are not true love. 90% of marriages are not true love. 90% of true 爱情 CASES are NOT true love. Odds are no one here has even seen "true love" in action. 发布 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
"Love is not equal" 一年多以前
wantadog 评论…
I won't dismiss someone else's relationship, but my statement on the main post holds true. 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
^ I'll have to agree with it !!!! 一年多以前
wantadog 说 …
Three cheers for depressing yourself 由 asking for the impossible 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Also, Im a really strong advocate for taking medication for mental health issues, especially when it starts to get too extreme.

Taking medication for anxiety, no matter how much actually thinking about taking it gave me 更多 anxiety, was probably one of the best decisions of my life

It lowered how bad my anxiety got to a manageable level. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Personally before I got it, I got the horrible feeling like I was going to kill my real self off. It felt like a half assed indirect suicide. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I actually got super suicidal over it I think. But it really helped in the long run. 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
I mean I was already suicidal during that time, thats why my therapist was like "You really need to see a psychiatrist and get medication", but it made it worse 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Ive been on medication for like.... ten months I think now. Its been helpful without a doubt 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Its interesting how Psychosis and Dissociation are commonly seen talked about in the same areas. They are strictly different, but I can see where a lot of the similarities come in play.

Psychosis is a break away from reality, dissociation is a cut off from reality. 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Baujel is such a wonderful character 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
The only issue I have to be honest with 写作 his character is that I 由 no means depict him 由 his actual age XD There is no way a kid would act this way at his age XD 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
But sh.. this isnt a formal 写作 peace. I dont have to be that realistic. Its just hobby 写作 and its a side story to depict things. Maybe Im 写作 it how he remembers it so it comes out as 更多 mature since people have trouble fully making themselves as immature as they were when they think back to their past experiences :v 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
tfw 你 have symptoms of a large portion of mental health issues but write a character whose main issue is the ONE 你 dont so 你 gotta research :v 发布 一年多以前
Riku114 说 …
Okay I decided. I will 爱情 Lusamine begrudgingly 发布 一年多以前
TheLefteris24 评论…
Riku: I hate you... But I 爱情 you... But I hate 你 !!!! 一年多以前
Riku114 评论…
Accurate 一年多以前