These days, I've been trying to classify my thoughts into two categories: "Things I can change," and "Things I can't." It seems to help me sort through what to really stress about. But there I go again, over-planning and over-organizing my over-thinking! I write songs about my adventures and misadventures, most of which concern love. 爱情 is a tricky business. But if it wasn't, I wouldn't be so enthralled with it. Lately I've come to a wonderful realization that makes me even 更多 fascinated 由 it:
I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to love. No one does! There's no pattern to it, except that it happens to all of us, of course I can't plan for it. I can't predict how it'll end up. Because 爱情 is unpredictable, frustrating, tragic and it's beautiful. And even though there's no way to feel like I'm an expert at it, it's worth 写作 songs about -- 更多 than anything else I've ever experienced in my life.
I've apparently been the victim of growing up, which apparently happens to all of us at one point 或者 another. It's been going on for quite some time now, without me knowing it. I've found that growing up can mean a lot of things. For me, it doesn't mean I should become somebody completely new and stop loving the things I used to love. It means I've just added 更多 things to my list. Like for example, I'm still beyond obsessed with the winter season and I still start putting up strings of lights in September. I still 爱情 sparkles and grocery shopping and really old 猫 that are only nice to 你 half the time. I still 爱情 写作 in my journal and wearing dresses all the time and staring at chandeliers. But some new things I've fallen in 爱情 with -- mismatched everything. Mismatched chairs, mismatched colors, mismatched personalities. I 爱情 spraying perfumes I used to wear when I was in high school. It brings me back to the days of trying to get a close parking spot at school, trying to get noticed 由 足球 players, and trying to figure out how to avoid doing 或者 saying anything uncool, and wishing every 分钟 of every 日 that one 日 maybe I'd get a chance to win a Grammy. 或者 something crazy and out of reach like that. ;) I 爱情 old buildings with the paint chipping off the walls and my dad's stories about college. I 爱情 the freedom of living alone, but I also 爱情 things that make me feel seven again.
Back then naivety was the norm and skepticism was a foreign language, and I just think every once in a while 你 need fries and a 浓情巧克力 milkshake and your mom. I 爱情 picking up a cookbook and closing my eyes and opening it to a 随意 page, then attempting to make that recipe. I've loved my 粉丝 from the very first day, but they've 说 things and done things recently that make me feel like they're my 老友记 -- 更多 now than ever before. I'll never go a 日 without thinking about our memories together.
For the last two years, I've been 写作 and recording an album called Speak Now. I only have the option of 写作 about things that happen in my life, so thankfully a LOT has happened in my life in the last two years. I know I don't always say the right thing at the right time 或者 speak up when I should, but I write it all down. I get my 吉他 and a pen and all of a sudden, I have a chance to say exactly what I meant to say in real life. Some of the things I wrote about are things everyone saw me go through. Some of the things I wrote about are things nobody ever knew about. I'm beyond excited for 你 to hear these stories and confessions.
I think it's important that 你 know that I will never change. But I'll never stay the same either. Must be a Sagittarius thing.
I'm pretty stoked that 你 read this whole thing. I commend 你 for that. This was ridiculously long, and 你 probably have other stuff 你 could've done in the last four minutes. So to you, 或者 anyone else who has spent four 分钟 on me in some way-- listening to just one song, 或者 watching one of my videos….Thank you. I 爱情 你 like I 爱情 sparkles and having the last word. And that's real love.
