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Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service 台, 办公桌 and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid 或者 a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....
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added by 27-5
added by breebree446
added by RaeXBelleX333
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: 谷歌
posted by Thecharliejay
Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If 你 keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a 列表 of "pros" and "cons" to help 你 better understand why you're seeking 爱情 或者 acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things 你 can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Researchers in the UK examined 更多 than 1000 jokes and placed them before 36,000 voters to determine the "official" 50 funniest jokes of all time.

And here they are:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

49. A 密封 walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner 商店 - bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell 你 what I 爱情 doing 更多 than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1. Let's go somewhere where we have to get really dressed up.

2. Wow, 你 did your cuticles.

3. I'll pick 你 up early, b/c I really want to meet your parents.

4. Want to hit the outlet mall this weekend?

5. If 你 want to 日期 other guys too, that's cool with me.

6. 狗 are fine, but 小猫 are 更多 cuddly.

7. Hey, that 衬衫 looks really good with those jeans.

8. Carson Daly is sooo deep.

9. How can anyone watch boxing? It's totally violent.

10. I can't wait to see the new Freddie Prinze Jr. movie.

11. Hey, today's our "two months from the first 日 we 说 hi" anniversary.

12. Didn't Gwyenth's outfit...
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added by Pink_Love
Part 4 - but still in no particular order

61.
Name: John Hannah (Actor)
From: The Mummy/Sliding Doors
Character: Johnathan/James
Attraction: His scottish accent even though I know he doesn't have it in The Mummy - I still like him



62.
Name: Calvin Harris (Singer)
Attraction: His voice - when I heard I'm Not Alone I just couldn't get enough of it - his voice was just beautiful to me. Alas, he is also Scottish



63.
Name: Jonas Altberg (Singer)
From: Basshunter
Attraction: Well just look at those gorgeous eyes



64.
Name: Mark Strong (Actor)
From: Stardust
Character: Septimus
Attraction: I suppose...
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added by r-pattz
Source: tumblr
Ok that's it I'm doing it even if people didn't even wanted me to do it I'm doing it anyways.

Hello everybody welcome to Alpha's 最佳, 返回页首 ten 列表 (and yes I called it that very unoriginal...) Well I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to 列表 some of the worst fandoms of all of history. Oh and before I start this list, but it's pretty obvious that this is my opinion and I'm not here to hurt anyone. So here we go!!!!

10. Beliebers- You're probably wondering why this isn't higher and yes I find these 粉丝 really annoying!!! This is probably an example of an average crazy fangirl, but I don't...
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posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are 你 really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he 说 that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can 你 tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern 日 issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). 爱情 或者 hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.


A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years 以前 were blacks 给 the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination...
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added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: 谷歌
posted by xxXsk8trXxx
1. Ask your teacher "Is mayonaise an instrument?"

2. Take a drummer's drumstick (or if you're a drummer, than your own!) and poke people with it

3. Ask if 你 can try the harmomonica 或者 the recorder

4. Play Sweet Victory (in the Spondgebob episode Band Geeks) as a surprise duiring a concert. Plan it with others in advance before, though.

5.Purpously forget your instrument. If your teacher asks why, say "My pet alien ate it, than a viking killed him, than it swam in a pool and drowned, than I recovered his body and Chuck Noris beat it up and ate it, than he threw it up and made it into shampoo,...
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added by Rodz
Source: photobucket
added by PoddoChan
Source: The Internet
added by VanilaCoco
Source: Me