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posted by FlufflyHands
Everyone is putting stuff up about Walmart, I was smart enough to think of CVS :D (I made these up on my own with no one elses help btw)

1. Resort the medicine aisle

2. Run around like an idiot until 你 are told to stop, once the person who stopped turns around do it again, repeat this process until your told to leave, then run out like an idiot

3. Go up to the cash register and tell the clerk that someone is "poaching" medicine, then run out of the store

4. Take the magazines 你 see and tear them to pieces, then go up to the front (were the cash register is) and throw the pieces up the air and...
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Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan.

If 你 consider it a sport to gather your 食物 由 drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all 日 hoping that the 食物 will swim by, 你 might live in Michigan .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each 年 because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, 你 might live in Michigan .

If your local Dairy 皇后乐队 is closed from November through April, 你 might live in Michigan .

If 你 instinctively walk like a 企鹅 for five months out of the year, 你 might live in Michigan .

If someone in a store offers...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF 你 DON'T PASS THIS ON 你 DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All 日 long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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posted by Cantwait4book5
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn 你 说 the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sincerely, 独角兽

Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because 吸血鬼 are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
Sincerely, The 泰坦尼克号

Dear J.K. Rowling,
Your 图书 are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely, Anonymous


Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada

Dear Boyfriend,
I can make...
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In the never-ending "Twilight" battle between Team Edward and Team Jacob, we have the results: The vampire -- and the man who plays him -- claims the buzz. Sure, there's been a lot of tough talk about the 狼 boy -- aka Jacob Black, aka Taylor Lautner -- wooing affections away from his glittering rival. But, as a brooding Bella knows, it takes a lot to shake one's loyalty to Edward Cullen -- aka Robert Pattinson.

Not that there hasn't been a time when many have strayed: Jacob Black (and Lautner himself) wrangled 更多 searches on Yahoo! than Edward Cullen (and Pattinson) for about three weeks...
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posted by ilovepenguins
I didn't write this!


Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When 你 arrive at the 下一个 stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If 你 are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...
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