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1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the 下一个 car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words "Help me” on your back window in red paint. The 更多 it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie...
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Man: Where have 你 been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen 你 someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this 座位 empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if 你 sit down.

Man: Your place 或者 mine?
Woman: Both. 你 go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do 你 do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: 嘿 baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do 你 like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...
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1.The Characters are awesome


2.It can make 你 laugh so hard


3.It can make 你 cry like a baby


4.The fight scenes are epic


5.Theres blood


6.They swear


7.The storyline is really good


8.Theres Ninjas'!!


9.They have Sasuke(cool)


10.The weapons they use are so coool


11.The villians are so evil.


12.It makes 你 wish 你 lived in the 火影忍者 world.


13.They have great opening and ending songs.


14.It makes 你 think about it all the time


15.It teaches 你 火影忍者 history
The following dumb laws are, 或者 were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before 你 go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if 你 bail off and do something stupid 或者 try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).

Alabama

In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting...
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I am sorry if this offends anyone, this is just for fun, i got bored. And i really hope 你 enjoy this.

Doofus (doo-doo that fusses)
Dough-head (play-dough head)
Dur-hur (ummmmmm.... idk actually)
Twidiot (a twin thats an idiot)
Dumbo (a dumb person named bo)
Baka (stupid cow, japenese its stupid, spanish its a cow)
Gerd (Girl nerd)
Girlilla (a girl that looks like a gorilla)
Gurd (girl turd)

If anyone has anymore ideas, please 评论 and i will make another of these. Ok now i have to make 更多 lines.
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爱情 and Marriage:

"If falling in 爱情 is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7


"Love is like an avalanche where 你 have to run for your life." -- John, age 9


"I think you're supposed to get shot with an 《绿箭侠》 或者 something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8


"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how 你 smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9


"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8


"Once...
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Just randomly found this:

1. Throw 爆米花 in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can 你 fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling 爆米花 that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get 爆米花 yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit 下一个 to 你 because 你 invisible...
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Mother kept girls locked away from the world for seven years
Three girls who were imprisoned 由 their mother in a house of indescribable filth for seven years may never recover from the ordeal, experts have said.

The girls were shut away from the outside world, existing in almost complete darkness, playing only with mice and communicating in their own language.

When they were discovered, their 首页 in a smart, upper middle-class suburb had no running water and was filled with waste and excrement a metre high. The floor was corroded 由 mice urine.

The case has stunned Austria, still reeling from...
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1. 你 can do whatever 你 damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. 你 can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. 你 can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. 你 don't having to think about birth control, calendars 或者 ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. 你 can go out and flirt as much as your 心 desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet 座位 issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between 你 and the people in front of 你 while waiting in line.
Every time 你 pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind 你 in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let 你 off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, 或者 pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...
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I am pondering this question, it is a very difficult one to figure out. I can not seem to think of anything to make an 文章 on....

2 Hours Later

Wait I think I have an idea coming on... nope I 迷失 it... wait no I found it again... What if I write an 文章 about reasons why 你 should do pointe
1. 你 get to be taller
2. 你 can use them in self defense
3. 你 can... what 你 don't think that's a good idea... oh well back to the drawing board...

1 小时 Later

Ok what about this... What happened when I invested in Eyepatches... hmmm titles to long how about My Eyepatch Investment.... sounds good......
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posted by ShadowFlame
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done 由 a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the 日 of the...
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I'm bored, so I thought I'd share with 你 a few websites online that 你 can 设计 characters! 你 all probably have either created characters, like for fanfictions, stories, 或者 just in your mind, and here are some websites where 你 can 设计 their appearance! 或者 你 could always make yourself and use it as a snazzy avatar/profile pic, 或者 make characters from books/movies/etc. that already exist! There are tons of websites out there, these are just a few.
link
This website is 由 far the best superhero generator I've found. Basically 你 use it to make your dream superhero!!! (I use it to...
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更多 people in history of war have been killed in the name of God (any religion) then any other reason for war
Hellenologophobia - the fear of greek terms
If 你 sneeze too hard, 你 can fracture a rib. If 你 try to suppress a sneeze, 你 can rupture a blood vessel in your head 或者 neck and die.
Nearly a third of all bottled drinking water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria.
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over 1 million descendants.
You are 更多 likely to be struck 由 lightning than to be eaten 由 a shark.
You are 更多 likely to be infected by...
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Grammar and spelling issues have been discussed several times and I just thought I would give my opinion on the subject. This 文章 is mostly aimed for those who call themselves "Grammar Nazis", but I would be 更多 than glad that everyone else reads it as well, including the "Grammar Nazis" that aren't overly critical. Before I go on, I will point out that my English may not be so good since it is not my first language and I'm not studying it, but I'm trying as hard as I can to improve it every day, so my apologies if anything I've 说 here isn't understandable.

So having good grammar and...
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posted by australia-101
 Skittles 伏特加
Skittles Vodka
Things You'll Need:

A handle (1.75 liters, about a half gallon) of 伏特加 per bag of Skittles

A large bag of Skittles 糖果 (the "movie size" bag)

Each handle of 伏特加 (1.75 liters, about a half gallon) requires a large bag worth of Skittles, so if 你 plan on doing only one flavor for a flavorful vodka, you'll have to buy 5 large bags of Skittles.

Coffee filter 或者 extremely clean t-shirt
Large funnel 或者 strainer to hold filter

Steps:

1. Separate the 颜色 of Skittles that 你 want to flavor the 伏特加 with. Many people choose to leave out the green, which is 青柠, 石灰 if 你 are using original Skittles,...
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posted by DramaQueen1020
Sad Stories About AIDS


I found these stories online. These are true stories.

I used to know Josephat and his lovely family of a wife, 2 daughters and a son. He used to live in a town 1,000Km from the city. The town is on the Tanzania Zambia border. He used to come to the city many times during the 年 on his pickup 面包车, 范 but when I did not see him for over a 年 I inquired from his cousin. The cousin informed me that he had a motor accident on the Dar es Salaam Zambia Highway. He died on the spot. That was 6 years ago. I had forgotten about him and family till yesterday when I met his cousin...
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posted by theprettiergirl
This is spell to turn into a mermaid I haven't tried the spell hope it works.
The spell:
1. Go into the bathroom with your favourite 项链 on.
2. Get in the bathtub and sit in the tub closing your eyes softly.
3. Say this:
Magic spirits of the deep I would like a tail not 2 feet beauty be upon me 鱼 all kinds let me see when I'm finished in the sea when I'm dry my feet return to me.
4. Dry off really fast 你 need to be completely dry.
5. Touch some water and 你 will become water that has turned out to be bubbles and 你 will get a tail but 你 do not decide the water decides the colour of the tail. Also 你 will get powers when 你 do something hard but not with in water.
Don't look at the full moon otherwise the moon will put a spell on 你 but the spell the got put on 你 will end in the mornings.
posted by soutarouful
Why does your cat lick your hair 或者 face? The first thing a kitten knows is its mother licking. Grooming conveys 爱情 and caring.

Why does a cat seek the visitor who doesn't like cats? Ignoring a cat is the opposite of aggressive behavior, so the cat sees this as "cat-friendly" and inviting.

Why does your cat head-butt you? The cat is 展示 affection.

Why does your cat rub against you? 猫 have scent glands on their cheeks and are marking 你 as their territory. Same goes for rubbing on furniture.

Why does a cat sometimes clean its 毛皮 after being petted? Either the cat is getting...
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"Sometimes 你 wanna give up cause 你 dont think that 你 can make it. But in the end you'll be ok. Things will come and go.

You have to hang tight, hold on, be strong, 移动 on, and keep your chin up. Cause tomorrow you'll deside on another way.

When everything inside 你 hurts, 你 just cant believe how it always comes back so much wrose. Just when 你 think 你 had all 你 can take, just stick up your head and know that 你 will always have a better day.

Somedays it can be hard and feels like the world is spining. Its never easy but we have rough times to try and build up our character not...
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