10. ON VACATION: Who would 你 most likely want to be stuck on a deserted island with? Not someone who's just told 你 "it's not working out," we're quite sure. Not only have 你 now wasted your time and money, but 你 can’t leave the situation easily without added plane fares and stress. If this happens to you, break away and turn your trip into a rejuvenating self-improvement retreat... you'll need it.
9. IN A TEXT MESSAGE: Ah, the text. The modern-day version of the Post-It. Too wussy to do it in person? Text away, wuss.
8. ON FACEBOOK: Nothing like logging on to find your loved one tagged in a compromising 照片 with a complete stranger...to you, at least. Why this is called the "World Wide Web" and some people can't figure out how they got busted is beyond us. Besides, it's way too trendy these days - be original, people!
7. AROUND THE FAMILY: Don't make it a family affair - you'll seriously regret it. Whether at a sibling’s wedding (see #6), a family vacation (see #10), 或者 meeting the family for the first time (really!?), this one is clearly ridden with minefields that will lead to nothing but trouble. If this happens to you, at least you've got your "people" nearby to protect you, support you, and promptly kick your brand-new-ex to the curb.
6. AT A WEDDING: The wedding. The defining moment for any couple. The pinnacle of celebrating relationships and love. The 日 they'll remember as the best 日 of their lives. Forever. Guess the pressure got to you, huh?
5. AT YOUR "SPECIAL PLACE": That restaurant where we had our first date...the bar where 你 told me 你 loved me...the bench in the park where we'd sit every Sunday... Why on earth would anyone think this is a good idea? Let the special place stay special. Just like there are other 鱼 in the sea, there are other places in the whole world. If they can't find another place, 你 should definitely find another fish.
4. IN BED: Come again? Talk about ruining the mood. At least wait until you're clothed. This one is so embarrassing that we're having visions of the recurring dream where you're on stage in front of everyone 你 know in nothing but your underwear. Except you're not even wearing underwear.
3. ON VALENTINE'S DAY: There are 365 days in the year, and ONE dedicated to celebrating love. It's not like 你 can't claim 你 didn't "know" it was Valentine's 日 - the stores, the ads, the cards have been in your face for weeks. Pick another day. It's that simple. Don't ruin this 日 forever for someone, unless you're really in need of some bad karma. (New Year's Eve and Birthdays received honorable mentions.)
2. 由 DOING NOTHING: It was tough not giving this the Number 1 honor, and we're still not sure. Being forced to figure something out 由 yourself is sometimes the hardest and most humiliating thing of all. Coming 首页 to find your 爱情 gone, with no note, no calls, no anything may just be the worst way to handle a breakup. It is definitely the WIMPIEST. Just remember that. 你 do this, 你 are weak.
1. 由 CHEATING: Sadly, this is the most common response we received - and the stories ran the gamut, from the one-night-stand, to the ongoing affair, to the ongoing affair that 你 only found out about via "the new person," to the unspeakable announcement that your boyfriend 或者 girlfriend is engaged to someone else (WHAT?!?). To these we simply say, come ON. Just break it off before 你 cheat. 你 won't hurt our feelings, we promise.
9. IN A TEXT MESSAGE: Ah, the text. The modern-day version of the Post-It. Too wussy to do it in person? Text away, wuss.
8. ON FACEBOOK: Nothing like logging on to find your loved one tagged in a compromising 照片 with a complete stranger...to you, at least. Why this is called the "World Wide Web" and some people can't figure out how they got busted is beyond us. Besides, it's way too trendy these days - be original, people!
7. AROUND THE FAMILY: Don't make it a family affair - you'll seriously regret it. Whether at a sibling’s wedding (see #6), a family vacation (see #10), 或者 meeting the family for the first time (really!?), this one is clearly ridden with minefields that will lead to nothing but trouble. If this happens to you, at least you've got your "people" nearby to protect you, support you, and promptly kick your brand-new-ex to the curb.
6. AT A WEDDING: The wedding. The defining moment for any couple. The pinnacle of celebrating relationships and love. The 日 they'll remember as the best 日 of their lives. Forever. Guess the pressure got to you, huh?
5. AT YOUR "SPECIAL PLACE": That restaurant where we had our first date...the bar where 你 told me 你 loved me...the bench in the park where we'd sit every Sunday... Why on earth would anyone think this is a good idea? Let the special place stay special. Just like there are other 鱼 in the sea, there are other places in the whole world. If they can't find another place, 你 should definitely find another fish.
4. IN BED: Come again? Talk about ruining the mood. At least wait until you're clothed. This one is so embarrassing that we're having visions of the recurring dream where you're on stage in front of everyone 你 know in nothing but your underwear. Except you're not even wearing underwear.
3. ON VALENTINE'S DAY: There are 365 days in the year, and ONE dedicated to celebrating love. It's not like 你 can't claim 你 didn't "know" it was Valentine's 日 - the stores, the ads, the cards have been in your face for weeks. Pick another day. It's that simple. Don't ruin this 日 forever for someone, unless you're really in need of some bad karma. (New Year's Eve and Birthdays received honorable mentions.)
2. 由 DOING NOTHING: It was tough not giving this the Number 1 honor, and we're still not sure. Being forced to figure something out 由 yourself is sometimes the hardest and most humiliating thing of all. Coming 首页 to find your 爱情 gone, with no note, no calls, no anything may just be the worst way to handle a breakup. It is definitely the WIMPIEST. Just remember that. 你 do this, 你 are weak.
1. 由 CHEATING: Sadly, this is the most common response we received - and the stories ran the gamut, from the one-night-stand, to the ongoing affair, to the ongoing affair that 你 only found out about via "the new person," to the unspeakable announcement that your boyfriend 或者 girlfriend is engaged to someone else (WHAT?!?). To these we simply say, come ON. Just break it off before 你 cheat. 你 won't hurt our feelings, we promise.
1.Grimace painfully,while smacking your forhead and say"Shut up all of you,just shut up!"
2.Crack open your 公文包 或者 purse,and while peering inside,ask"got enough air in there little guy?"
3.Meow occasionally.
4.Stare at another passenger for a while,then announce in horror,"You're one of THEM!!" then back away slowly and scream until they get out of the elevator.
5.Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
6.Make explosion noises whenever someone preses a button.
7.Drop a pen,then wait until someone picks it up and scream"THATS MINE.
8.Bring your camera and take pictures of everyone on the elevator.
9.When the doors close,say to the person 下一个 to you"Its OK.They open up again"then give them reassuring hug.
10.Swat at flies that don't exist.
2.Crack open your 公文包 或者 purse,and while peering inside,ask"got enough air in there little guy?"
3.Meow occasionally.
4.Stare at another passenger for a while,then announce in horror,"You're one of THEM!!" then back away slowly and scream until they get out of the elevator.
5.Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
6.Make explosion noises whenever someone preses a button.
7.Drop a pen,then wait until someone picks it up and scream"THATS MINE.
8.Bring your camera and take pictures of everyone on the elevator.
9.When the doors close,say to the person 下一个 to you"Its OK.They open up again"then give them reassuring hug.
10.Swat at flies that don't exist.