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How many times do 你 get passed 由 and ignored in the halls at school? Wouldn't your morning be so much brighter if people actually acknowledged your existence? Of course it would. But since people are fickle, 你 must force them. Here's how to provoke a friendly greeting, 或者 at least make someone else feel happier as s/he comes glowering into the building.

Who knows? Your target might even pass along the gesture to someone else, who will pass it along to someone else, and that someone else will then... (you get the point; joy is contagious). Just think how many days could be brightened 由 following my 列表 of wonderful alternative ways to say "Hello."
1. The "Hey"
This is 由 far the easiest and most commonly-used form of "Hello." When 你 are ready, 你 may even want to try the extended version of this simple greeting (see #2).

How It's Done
Approach your target with grace, bumping into 随意 passersby on your way. As 你 get closer to your target, let a smile crawl up your face as 你 lift your chin up a bit and say "hey." Don't forget to look at your target, and listen for a response. Do not slow down a whole lot. It is perfectly acceptable to be behind the target when he responds.

2. The "Heyy"
WARNING! Do not use with complete strangers. The people 你 "Heyy" should be close friends, 或者 people with whom 你 feel comfortable.

How It's Done
This version of the most common "hey" (see above) is 说 in two syllables, and usually done with the arms spread out to the sides, palms facing upward while the head and shoulders do a miniature body roll to the left, then right. If done right, your target will repeat the greeting, resulting in laughter. This shared experience allows 你 to connect with someone and start your 日 like a normal human being should.

3. The "Cheery Hello"
The "Cheery Hello" is a great thing to use on days where you're bouncing down the halls with sunshine radiating from all around. Needless to say, this "Hello" shows everyone that 你 are having a good day. Your happiness may even rub off on some of your friends. WARNING! Do not use after a tragic event, breakup, 或者 any kind of sad incident. If 你 see people crying, back off.

How It's Done
As 你 come bounding into school, select a target who looks approachable (that means no crossed arms, scowling, eyebrows pulled together, 或者 chainsaws, sorry). As 你 advance on your target, keep that smile propped up and use a sing-song voice to say "Hello" (go up first, then down a couple of notes). Your target may look surprised, but pleased. For the full effect, keep looking at your target for a few 更多 precious 秒 before bouncing away again. Do not stare for too long; make the look last only a few seconds. No need to creep the person out, 或者 make her think that you're plotting some sort of evil scheme.

4. The "Sup Nod"
你 mostly see the male population of the school using this rather awesome greeting, but girls, we can have fun, too.

How It's Done
Pick a target, usually someone standing 由 her locker, 或者 talking in a group. Slowly walk up to her, bouncing a little with each step. Stop. Wait for a few seconds. Tilt your head to the side, jerk your chin in an upwards motion, and bring it back down. Your head may go back a little bit. For the full effect, say the word "sup" while your chin is at its highest. Professional 'sup-ers may even look good while doing the "'Sup Nod" with a slight change: Instead of saying "sup" while raising your chin, pretend to be doing the nod without the sup, and speak while your neck, head and chin are coming back to their normal positions.

5. The "RunOnHelloThatIncludesEverythingYouEverWannaSay"
This greeting is reserved for days when 你 come bursting into school with life-changing news about your dog/college/bf/gf/whatever, and absolutely cannot wait to share it with the world. WARNING: Do not interrupt important-looking conversations no matter how amazing your news.

How It's Done
As 你 come bursting into the school, use your wide-open eyes to find your group of targets. Approach them biting your tongue, because before 你 can explode all over your victims, 你 absolutely have to make sure 你 are not interrupting anything important. If it looks like 你 might be, turn and restlessly look around for a lone target that 你 could enlighten with what 你 have to say, and walk toward that person. If no such person exists, simply wait until the current discussion is coming to an end, and WHAM!!!, 你 can spill your guts.

Which greetings make 你 smile?



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1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to 你 as much as 你 enjoy listening.
3. Don't say 你 understand when 你 don't.
4. Girls are pretty, but yours is the Prettiest!
5. 你 don't have PMS; don't act like 你 know what it's like.
6. Saying something sweet might get 你 off the hook; doing something sweet will always get 你 off the hook.
7. If 你 talk about having a big Dick; we know 你 don't.
8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want relationships.
9. We don't like it when 你 act like Mr. Big.
10. A system in your car only impresses...
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