1.A blonde keeps walking down her drive to her mail box.
She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.
The blonde 回复 "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail"
2.Why did the blond 交叉, 十字架 the road?
I dont know.
Neither did the blond.
3.A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish 你 guys could get your act together. Just yesterday 你 take away my license and then today 你 expect me to 显示 it to you."
4.A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the 最佳, 返回页首 of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump.
When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.
When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.
When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."
5.Did 你 here about the blond that...
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box 说 "2 to 4 years"
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions 说 1 小时 per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
6.A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide 由 shooting your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"And then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"And then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
7.A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time. Which made it to the ground first?
The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
8.I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 分钟 looking at the 橙子, 橙色 果汁 box because it 说 "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to 床, 床上 to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took 你 to the airport and saw a sign that 说 "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
9.Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the 最佳, 返回页首 is down".
10.A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back 首页 and dyes her hair black.
The 下一个 日 she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk 说 he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes 首页 and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do 你 know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
She keeps doing this until her neighbour asks her why she is doing that.
The blonde 回复 "My computer keeps telling me that i've got mail"
2.Why did the blond 交叉, 十字架 the road?
I dont know.
Neither did the blond.
3.A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish 你 guys could get your act together. Just yesterday 你 take away my license and then today 你 expect me to 显示 it to you."
4.A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the 最佳, 返回页首 of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump.
When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete.
When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away.
When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."
5.Did 你 here about the blond that...
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box 说 "2 to 4 years"
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions 说 1 小时 per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.
6.A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide 由 shooting your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"And then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"And then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
7.A blonde and a brunette both jumped off a cliff at the same time. Which made it to the ground first?
The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
8.I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
* she called me to get my phone number.
* she spent 20 分钟 looking at the 橙子, 橙色 果汁 box because it 说 "concentrate."
* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
*she tried to drown a fish.
*she thought a quarterback was a refund.
*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
*she tripped over a cordless phone.
*she took a ruler to 床, 床上 to see how long she slept.
*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
*she studied for a blood test.
*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
*when she took 你 to the airport and saw a sign that 说 "Airport Left" she turned around and went home
9.Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the 最佳, 返回页首 is down".
10.A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back 首页 and dyes her hair black.
The 下一个 日 she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk 说 he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes 首页 and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do 你 know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
I saw this on cracked.com and I don't have Excel so I want to know if this is real...
1. Open Excel 95 with a blank work sheet
2. Go down to the 95th row
3. Select the whole row
4. Tab over to coloum B
5. Goto Help/About
6. Hold down ctrl-alt-shift and click on the tech support button
7. A window appears call "Hall of Tortured souls"
8. At the end of the hall and all the programmers names
9. Do a 180 turn and type excelkfa. Walk thuorgh the 墙 and see the pictures.
Sorry i'm just really curious about this.... :/ I'm probably a dumbass for this and have no life for asking, but still! I'm bored...
1. Open Excel 95 with a blank work sheet
2. Go down to the 95th row
3. Select the whole row
4. Tab over to coloum B
5. Goto Help/About
6. Hold down ctrl-alt-shift and click on the tech support button
7. A window appears call "Hall of Tortured souls"
8. At the end of the hall and all the programmers names
9. Do a 180 turn and type excelkfa. Walk thuorgh the 墙 and see the pictures.
Sorry i'm just really curious about this.... :/ I'm probably a dumbass for this and have no life for asking, but still! I'm bored...
Most of the world's most amazing sights have not been made 由 people .Nature has some of the best attraction.One of the most beautiful places is Niagara Falls ,which plunges into a canyon about 11 km long .It has a 彩虹 as the water chases the sun's light and crash down into the steamy canyon below .
In Arizona ,the Colorado River has steadily been giant canyon for about 6 million years.The valley is so deep and steep that nearly a million tourists visit and take the trip down its deep sides every year.
through the 心 of South America runs the 亚马逊 River.In some places it feels like a sea .as 你 can't the other side .Starting in Peru and continuing all the way across Brazil to the Atlantic Ocean ,It is the 秒 longest river in the world after the Nile
want to play test game ?
If 你 want check this link
link
and if 你 don't just skip it
In Arizona ,the Colorado River has steadily been giant canyon for about 6 million years.The valley is so deep and steep that nearly a million tourists visit and take the trip down its deep sides every year.
through the 心 of South America runs the 亚马逊 River.In some places it feels like a sea .as 你 can't the other side .Starting in Peru and continuing all the way across Brazil to the Atlantic Ocean ,It is the 秒 longest river in the world after the Nile
want to play test game ?
If 你 want check this link
link
and if 你 don't just skip it
HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -waves-
Now it's time to get seres i mean serues NO! uh..
SERIOUS.
Justin Bieber is dating selena gomez.
Well everyoe knew he had to 日期 her 或者 demi.
So have 你 seen the amazing sci fi movie sharktopus XD.
Now let's see......
I need to get note cards for this.
Well i guess i'm going to have to do this!
Meebo Emoticons
(*)
(pacman)
:-*
(loser)
(liar)
(beaten)
(O_O)
(o.O)
(so)
(panda)
(emo)
(rapper)
(sarcasm)
(ghost)
(hug)
Well i'm getting tired of that
PURPLE FLYING HIPPOS!
Now it's time to get seres i mean serues NO! uh..
SERIOUS.
Justin Bieber is dating selena gomez.
Well everyoe knew he had to 日期 her 或者 demi.
So have 你 seen the amazing sci fi movie sharktopus XD.
Now let's see......
I need to get note cards for this.
Well i guess i'm going to have to do this!
Meebo Emoticons
(*)
(pacman)
:-*
(loser)
(liar)
(beaten)
(O_O)
(o.O)
(so)
(panda)
(emo)
(rapper)
(sarcasm)
(ghost)
(hug)
Well i'm getting tired of that
PURPLE FLYING HIPPOS!
I started a Language contest on the 答案 spot in this group. Here are the winners:
Round 1) Winner: darkmintoutau
Language: Greek
Όταν η ζωή σου δίνει το λεμόνι, κάνει το χυμό πορτοκαλιού και στη συνέχεια, καθίστε πίσω και αναρωτιέμαι πώς το κάνατε. Και:
Είμαστε αυστηρότερο από ό, τι σε λιπαρές ουσίες τύπος στο καλσόν!
When life gives 你 lemons, make 橙子, 橙色 果汁 and then sit back and wonder how 你 did. And: We're tighter than a fat guy in tights!
Round 2) Winner: xXxJDloverxXx
Language: Basque
benetan behar dut off lortzeko webgune honetan!
I really need to get off this site!
Round 3) Open.
Round 1) Winner: darkmintoutau
Language: Greek
Όταν η ζωή σου δίνει το λεμόνι, κάνει το χυμό πορτοκαλιού και στη συνέχεια, καθίστε πίσω και αναρωτιέμαι πώς το κάνατε. Και:
Είμαστε αυστηρότερο από ό, τι σε λιπαρές ουσίες τύπος στο καλσόν!
When life gives 你 lemons, make 橙子, 橙色 果汁 and then sit back and wonder how 你 did. And: We're tighter than a fat guy in tights!
Round 2) Winner: xXxJDloverxXx
Language: Basque
benetan behar dut off lortzeko webgune honetan!
I really need to get off this site!
Round 3) Open.
(Try 阅读 this story with a cowboy 或者 a hilbilly accent)
Tiffany and Pete sat in the moon light.
"Look at them stars. So bright and shiny." Pete said. "Look 更多 like squares to me." 说 Tiffany.
"Nooooo, there stars." Pete told Tiffany.
"Hey that squares gettin' bigger.....and bigger....and bigger." Tiffany gasped. "That square looks like its hurrdelin' at us!"
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Pete yelled pushing Tiffany out of the way of the falling star. The 星, 星级 landed where Tiffany was sitting but she was now a few feet from it. "YEAH! Gots me a square!" Tiffany squeled
The End.
Short but it was an idea that came to me in the shower...and the idea credit goes to my non fanpopping 老友记 Liz and Tiffany who showed me the "Looks 更多 like squares to me" thingy....any way what do 你 guys think????
Tiffany and Pete sat in the moon light.
"Look at them stars. So bright and shiny." Pete said. "Look 更多 like squares to me." 说 Tiffany.
"Nooooo, there stars." Pete told Tiffany.
"Hey that squares gettin' bigger.....and bigger....and bigger." Tiffany gasped. "That square looks like its hurrdelin' at us!"
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Pete yelled pushing Tiffany out of the way of the falling star. The 星, 星级 landed where Tiffany was sitting but she was now a few feet from it. "YEAH! Gots me a square!" Tiffany squeled
The End.
Short but it was an idea that came to me in the shower...and the idea credit goes to my non fanpopping 老友记 Liz and Tiffany who showed me the "Looks 更多 like squares to me" thingy....any way what do 你 guys think????
When I resolve into the essence
Tlhat I mostly am‚
I feel a deep connection
With every living thing.
For that which most imbues me
With my identity
Is somehow in the other‚ too‚
So that when I look around
I see myself- reflected
Hidden is this union
Is the wonderful discovery
That if indeed the angels
Have wings-
Then so do I.
And if the essence of a flower
Drifts out of a gentle breeze-
Then so do I.
And if the midnight sky
Is radiant with light-
Then so am I.
And if the silent mystery
Somehow becomes revealed
In tiny dewdrops fair-
Then so willI.
For every lovely thing
Manifests the essence
Of which I am a part‚
So beware‚ my soul‚ beware‚
And 移动 with gentle heart
Throughout theis mystic veil.
For if 爱情 has left its imprint here-
Then so have I!
This is not mine‚ this was written 由 Donna Miesbach
Tlhat I mostly am‚
I feel a deep connection
With every living thing.
For that which most imbues me
With my identity
Is somehow in the other‚ too‚
So that when I look around
I see myself- reflected
Hidden is this union
Is the wonderful discovery
That if indeed the angels
Have wings-
Then so do I.
And if the essence of a flower
Drifts out of a gentle breeze-
Then so do I.
And if the midnight sky
Is radiant with light-
Then so am I.
And if the silent mystery
Somehow becomes revealed
In tiny dewdrops fair-
Then so willI.
For every lovely thing
Manifests the essence
Of which I am a part‚
So beware‚ my soul‚ beware‚
And 移动 with gentle heart
Throughout theis mystic veil.
For if 爱情 has left its imprint here-
Then so have I!
This is not mine‚ this was written 由 Donna Miesbach
WINKWAKER430:
Much as we tease each other, he's always been there for me. Sense the beginning, like Sean.. He's even 更多 sarcastic than I am.. Usually I can't tell if he's serious 或者 not..
DREAMTIME:
Oh how I miss her.. Only person here I considered a stronger friend that Wind..She was here secretly for a while.. But now seems permentally gone.. Doesn't really responde to my Gmail's either.. So just a memory now I suppose..
SEANTHEHEDEHOG:
I may get annoyed at his 随意 videos, but he's always there, and still includes me in some of his 论坛 stories.. So yeah..
COKETHEUNBREAN:
Well, we may not talk much, but he's always been there, so why not.. Aqua two..
THELEFERIS24:
Well, their relatively new. But the fact I added them to 脸谱 should count as a huge thing.. So thanks for always being nice.. Oh, and why not add Nuri..
If I left anyone out, I'm sorry.. just used the first ones that came to my head..
Much as we tease each other, he's always been there for me. Sense the beginning, like Sean.. He's even 更多 sarcastic than I am.. Usually I can't tell if he's serious 或者 not..
DREAMTIME:
Oh how I miss her.. Only person here I considered a stronger friend that Wind..She was here secretly for a while.. But now seems permentally gone.. Doesn't really responde to my Gmail's either.. So just a memory now I suppose..
SEANTHEHEDEHOG:
I may get annoyed at his 随意 videos, but he's always there, and still includes me in some of his 论坛 stories.. So yeah..
COKETHEUNBREAN:
Well, we may not talk much, but he's always been there, so why not.. Aqua two..
THELEFERIS24:
Well, their relatively new. But the fact I added them to 脸谱 should count as a huge thing.. So thanks for always being nice.. Oh, and why not add Nuri..
If I left anyone out, I'm sorry.. just used the first ones that came to my head..
