So I see a lot - and I mean a LOT of biased opinions floating around about the queer community based around stigma, bigoted cis/hetero propaganda, and just plain uncertainty.
And usually when this stuff crops up - both sides don’t discuss it. Usually it starts out with side A, the cishet folks that are extremely uninformed, getting upset over something they don’t understand and draw conclusions for themselves - and then side B, members of the queer community that see this bias, and (understandably) get enraged and turn to insults and sloppy arguments against the misinformed.
So, as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I’d like to just sit back and try to inform those confused lil cishet folks out there about what is and isn’t true from what they’ve heard about the LGBTQ+ community.
Strap in folks, and get ready for uncle Jaye to slap y’all with some gay KNOWLEDGE. The Community Has 100+ “Made Up” Genders
This is something I’ve seen spread around a lot and used in arguments against us trans folk whenever that happens.
I’m sure that what cis people mean 由 this is stuff like “neogenders” 或者 whatever.
Truth to be told - most people that don’t fit into the squares of “male” 或者 “female” don’t even go 由 neopronouns. The two most common trans genders that don’t fit the gender binary are nonbinary (viewing themselves with a lack of gender identity) and genderfluid (people who view themselves as 更多 than one gender due to different circiumstances).
So let me set something straight about this - neither of these are new 或者 “made up 由 Tumblrites”.
Many non-European folk have had traditions and titles for non-conforming gender folk. Hawaiians/Pacific Islanders have had “multi-spirited” people in their cultures for ages, and so have many Native American tribes. None of them used a strict gender binary as our society does today. (Funny how people 100+ years 以前 were 更多 understanding then than people are now, huh?) So it definitely isn't something Tumblr teens have pulled out of thin air, and I highly suggest looking into the influence nonbinary genders have had in different cultures throughout history.
So now that I’ve glossed that over, let’s get back to the topic of “neogenders”.
The “100+” whatever genders are just how different people express themselves as nonbinary without conforming to that one title.
Most people that use neopronouns (stuff like “starself” 或者 “bunself” 或者 “xe/xer” whatever) aren’t even typical nonbinary folks. Most of them, as said, are people merely trying different ways to express themselves. The folks in the community that do this are usually neurodivergent (on the autism spectrum, mostly) 或者 young people like preteens in the community.
It’s literally just their fun twist on being nonbinary, yeah? So most trans people don’t even have a problem with it. Trans/Nonbinary People Get “Triggered” if They’re Misgendered
Oof, another thing I see brought up a lot.
The plain truth? This is just plain bullshit.
Although being misgendered can make trans folk uncomfortable, especially if they have strong dysphoria, most of the time if it’s unintentional (ie, 你 came out to your mother as trans and she slips up because she knew 你 as the opposite gender literally your entire life), we won’t care. We’ll kindly correct them (just something like “I go 由 Erica instead of Eric now, remember?”) 或者 even not say anything at all if they manage to catch their own mistake.
The only time people get upset (reasonably) over being misgendered is if it’s done intentionally as a personal attack against 说 trans/nonbinary person.
And even then, we don’t go on huge rants of “DID 你 ASSUME MY GENDER?!?!?!?” 或者 anything like that. Most of the time it’s just non-cis folk trying to defend themselves against personal biases.
Hell, whenever someone assumes I’m a woman, I don’t even get upset. I just say something along the lines of “oh, actually I’m a guy! But it happens a lot I understand” and the other understands, and apologizes. Most trans people don’t respond with accidental misgendering with aggression.
Now I’m not denying that there are people in the LGBTQ+ community that will get horribly offended over small slip ups - but most of us that have common sense agree they’re just massive dickwads and probably have mental illnesses that they’re letting go unchecked and uncared for.
And to be honest, there’s people like that everywhere in every shape and form. It isn’t new and exclusive to the queer community. Something that people need to stop and understand in every corner of life. Gay People Hate Straights
I’ll put it bluntly - this is something 你 probably will hardly see at all in a LGBTQ+ community in real life.
Most of the people that are so against straight folk in the community are actually just young people who haven’t met any other queer folk outside of the internet. They’re 苦 usually because they’re used to being closeted and have no way to really express it - so they take it out on the “gross straighties XDDD” 或者 whatever. And people of like-mindedness tend to form close knit groups, and it just kinda spreads.
A lot of gay people won’t attack 你 just for being straight. The only time reasonable queer folk get upset over straight people is if they’re just. Y’know, being dicks about it.
There are plenty of cis/het allies to the queer community and most people are glad to welcome their support in real life. Online? As 说 before. People are stupid when they’re put behind a keyboard.
But it’s best to literally just ignore it - if 你 whine about it, they’ll keep attacking you, if 你 get angry, they’ll keep attacking 你 - most straight allies really do ignore the cockweasels in the community and go about 展示 their support anyways.
It might seem like the majority, but that’s because people just group together and get loud online. It really isn’t. Queer People are Obsessed With Their Queerness
Okay, so this one is true.
But - let’s put it fairly.
We’re passionate about our identities. Most people take a while to actually accept who they are, and once they do they get so stoked over it. Most cishet people don’t really understand this - they’re usually not actively oppressed 由 others for being straight 或者 cisgender. Because they’re the default.
But queer folk are used to hiding it. So when they get together for something like Pride 或者 talk online, we get excited over being able to express who we are.
I usually don’t even talk about how I’m bi 或者 trans to my cishet friends. I really only crack those jokes around other queer folks 或者 express my identity around them. Can’t say everyone does the same, but I know I’m not the only one who prefers that.
Like I get scared.
I have to hide my identity from my family.
My older sister and her family - I 爱情 them to pieces but I know how badly I’d get talked about and how I’d be distanced and mistrusted if I just casually talked about being queer around them.
So it’s just nice to let loose. Everyone can understand this to a degree, I’m sure -
Talking to fellow artists about your artistic passions, authors sharing tips and ideas about their writings…
This is cliche as shit, but in most ways, we’re all the same to one degree 或者 another.
I just touched on the major stuff for this 文章 - stuff I see a lot. Stuff I always see misinformation being spread about.
So listen, my little cishet chicken nuggets - if you’re confused about anything related to the queer community. Just ask someone. If it’s plain curiousity and 你 aren’t accusing anyone of anything, you’ll probably learn something. It’ll open your eyes a bit, yeah?
I’m tired of bitterness and just tired of being 苦 myself. I really just would rather sit back and talk at this point.
So I’ll see y’all the 下一个 time I decide to write something.