Okay so 嘿 there guys. This is a kind of 文章 that I dont usually do, however I found this 文章 that peeves me off with how stupid it is that I had to make a complaint about it. Id like to note that all of my complaints are totally
100% serious and should be taken with that. Like seriously. I never
But anyways. So I was randomly browsing the internet -not 潮流粉丝俱乐部 评论 at all- and I found this atrocious 文章 called "Zanhar's Rules of Shipping" and the stupidity of it made me cringe. However I dont think 你 guys have ever seen this 文章 and will never see it 或者 bother to 搜索 it up and Im sure the 作者 herself will never be able to find this, so Ill just give 你 the 标题 and no link so that should be good enough.
Okay lets begin with this. Rule number 1. The golden rule of shipping; ship it until it's proven unshippable!
Okay so what is even with that? How do 你 even plan to prove a ship like that? The only way 你 could do that is if it becomes a canon couple in the story and how the hell do 你 expect to do that? Why the hell would 你 make something a an cant control the golden rule of shipping? Are 你 saying they cant ship if the ship oesnt somehow be- Oh shit. 你 说 "Unshippable"..? err... Rule number 1. The golden rule of shipping; ship it until it's proven [shippable]!
There we go. Small editations doesnt hurt anyone. I just changed the tense of that word so thats okay. See my point is still valid. #3 They are best friends? Ship it harder!
Oh so 你 are telling me that if I have a best friend, me and him/her must be shipped and dating? Like my god. I swear the amount of times in my life that idea has tortured me with "You guys should date" at school and 你 wanna inforce that? Seriously? Im offended. 你 should try living the life. #4 Person A is person B's only friend?? Very ship!
What? What does this have to do with anything..? What if they were to date? Like what would happen if they were to break up? One would have absolutely no one. Thats messed up. Like seriously. I dont ship Sarumi (Saruhiko X Misaki from K) at all. Like that is cearly not a ship that fits this category. #7 If the character x's sibling dated character y, then character x and character y are now shippable.
Isnt that kind of messed up? Havent 你 heard of the Bro code bruh? #9 And if you're feeling adventurous, edgy, and controversial ship person x and his/her sibling.
Oh so now not only do 你 wanna break the Bro Code, ruin friendships, inforce annoying people, and making shippers have to do somethign they cant, but now 你 wanna support INCEST?! Do 你 seriously not know how fucked up youve been this article? That is seriously not a cool thing bruh. Incest man! Im an angry SJW that takes shipping too seriously! 你 cant do incest like that! And what if they have children?! What do 你 want? Incest babies?! #11 Is one of these rivals evil? And the other good? Of course that's how it is! Ship it! Ship it hard!
Dont 你 think that might become a bit of an unhealthy relationship? I mean if they are rivals 或者 do get along wouldnt they not get along in a relationship? Like have 你 ever thoguht about that? What if I shipped 你 and made 你 日期 the person 你 hate the most? Would 你 like that? Seriously have 你 ever put yourself in the place of these people. Like psh. Clearly this is a serious article. #16 What? Not wiiiled enough for you? Fine then, ship your 最喜爱的 with your least 最喜爱的 for maximum mixed feelings!
Ew... Why would I put my 最喜爱的 though that torture. Like ewwww #18 Number 17 is a no go? Well ship person A with person B while simultaneously shipping person A with person C.
#19 And then ship person B with person C.
#20 Its a bonus if person A cheated on person B with person C. Then ship person B with person C harder as person A cries in the distance.
Woah woah woah. Step back there and read what 你 just wrote. Are 你 saying 你 like people cheating on eachother?! AND THEN 你 ARE BEGGING 或者 SOMEONE TO CRY ABOUT IT. Okay what even are you? Some kind of messed up sadist 或者 something? Like clearly 你 are 或者 something. Like seriously. Cheating has ruined lives. And why are 你 saying this is a RULE of shipping? What if someone doesnt believe that shipping is a thing 你 have to do to be a fa- I mean cheating is a thing 你 have to do to be a shipper? Like seriously? People shouldnt have to make characters cheat on eachother to be a true shipper. #23 Person A is a pirate. Wonderful! This person can be shipped with everyone automatically. Let person A chase that booty!
Oh I see. 你 are being PUNNY here. Well its not that funny and I almost missed it with how serious this 文章 was. I guess it was a good piece of comic releif though. #24 "But it's not canon." Sure it is. Anything is canon if 你 ship it hard enough.
Again refer to my first point. Shippers and 粉丝 cant do that. #26 What's this??? 你 have a NOTP??? Ha ha, no 你 don't everything is shippable. Ship all the things!
What if its an abusive relationship? Should they continue doing that then? #31 Male/Male Female/Female Female/Male. What did I say about discriminating. We don't do that here!
Ew. Why are 你 saying homosexual relationships are okay? God clearly did not want homosexuality and that is not okay. 你 are sinning 由 doing this. Like seriously. I am not a girl that likes boobs 或者 anything. Psh. Why are 你 approving of such sin. #49 Fine 你 can ship singers too.
Like I seriously didnt get lazy while skimming and just jump to the end to make it look like I skimmed your whole 文章 for things to 婊子, 子 about, but like... who the hell would ship singers? Like seriously. Thats so messed up they are real people. What if they see that?! 由 all means this is a joke and I don't expect anyone to actually comply with these.
*was skimming and clearly didnt see that*