This 15 年 old girl used to maintain a common diary with her 13 年 old best friend in which they wrote how they felt about each other and their friendship. When she discovered that her friend who had been a patient of clinical depression had tried to kill herself, she wrote this in the diary and it brought her best friend to tears...
The names have been changed as per author's request...
November 13
Dear Amira,
K so... without going on about any trivial stuff this time, 你 should know that I've 更多 than you'd expect to say about stuff I usually don't go on about on phone 或者 in person...
When I heard about your suicide attempt from Jaya and the others, it took some time (visibly an understatement) to process. To be extremely honest, I was hurt... When I finally got everything in my head, I felt extremely hurt...
你 most probably didn't tell me because 你 thought I'd cry, be pissed, be worried to death, 或者 你 won't be able to face me anymore, but let me tell you, not telling me was only worse...
Right now, I could go on about how it must be tough on 你 或者 try to provide 你 with solace but I want to be completely honest with you.
Talk to me when you're feeling that way dumbo!! That's exactly what I'm there for! When 你 called me up and 说 that the reason 你 managed to restrain yourself from such an attempt earlier was the feeling that 你 won't get to talk to me if 你 died, IT MADE ME HAPPY!! It made me soo happy that I could cry 你 know! I COULD LITERALLY CRY!
When all this came out the way it wasn't supposed to, I wanted to just.. slap some sense into you... I wanted to slap 你 soo hard! But then, I realized that the one at fault is me... I am the one who should be slapped, for 更多 reasons that I'd like to count... I have failed as a best friend - completely failed... Let alone prevention, I couldn't even see through you...
Well now, for goodness' sake, don't go on blaming yourself for this way of thinking of mine! Listen to all my venting! That's the least I expect of you... Of course well, 你 CAN blame yourself, if 你 want me to feel worse that is.
Think about it... put yourself in my shoes... Well, ik.. easier 说 than done...i'm feeling worse than one could imagine right now..
I mean... Miss Amira Sharma! How could you!! 你 stupid dumbo!! How could 你 let a stupid bunch of lazy neurons take control over you!! The 你 I know!!
I don't know shit about this clinical depression crap K? I'm a bloody idiotic dumbass! But seriously dude, I COULD help 你 tell off those lowlife neurons that Amira Sharma isn't as weak as 你 useless crappy cells think she is! only if 你 want me to, that is... 你 might think that you're weak... But you're not... And if 你 deny, I'd totally give in to the opinion that my friendship has been useless all along...
K... 你 might feel like 你 should die and the world is better off without you, but for once, for goodness' sake, look around... Your mom was sitting 下一个 to 你 crying when 你 woke up, wasn't she?
你 have plenty of things to live for!! Want me to name 3? k!
1. 老友记 & Family
2. One Direction
3. Me...
Damn!I don't remember when was the last time I felt so pissed!
I don't always say it, but dude, you're a BLESSING in my life! I have no idea where I would've been without 你 around! I wonder if I'd have ever come to know what friendship means if it weren't for you...
Every word I've ever written in this darned diary was straight from my heart!! I wouldn't waste my precious time I could've spent sleeping 或者 watching 日本动漫 in making that 'Secret Base'* for just some trivial friend...
I don't think I'd understand one BFF post on FB from the ones that we feel are relatable as of now if I hadn't met you!
Don't we always go on about how we're proud of this bond, which is totally different from those girly duos who claim to be best 老友记 and flaunt their pics on social sites just to end up as strangers after a few years...
Okay... I finally feel like I'll HAVE to name a few things 你 can be proud of... So, here goes...
- your nature
- your face
- your figure
- your voice
- your hair
- your... wait... almost everything ever...
(complimenting 你 is STILL a drag... I'm sorry XD)
Damn! okay.. After this, I wouldn't mind if 你 reached the Ayush** level of conceit, I guess...
I wouldn't try to make an effort to keep under control the height of your flight either... Just start flying.
"Being down to earth is great, but being under the earth is nothing close to being good..."
I know stuff is easier 说 than done... But still, I'll help 你 start moving forward, step 由 step, maybe... I'll help 你 start looking up at yourself dude... You're totally 更多 amazing than 你 think 你 are... You're worth 更多 than 你 think 你 are... (Not every girl gets a reverse harem 你 know? XD)
A lot of people 爱情 你 Amira!! And I'm one of them... God doesn't send a lot of pieces like 你 down here...
Just smile already!
Didn't 你 say 你 won't let me be 由 myself even if I wanted to? I hope 你 keep your word...
If 你 ever feel that way again, CALL ME! And if 由 any, i.e. 1 in a 1000 chance, I don't pick up, read this diary... 或者 the Secret Base! 你 can even come over. 或者 listen to 1D... 或者 WATCH ANIME!!
Now I wanna sound kinda selfish here, so.. 你 must know, without 你 around, I'd be 更多 lonely that I'd like to imagine... I don't have as many 老友记 as 你 think I do... :P
I want to keep talking to 你 about 1D and ANIME!! Forever!!
I want to see our children marrying each other!! XD
Oh come on.. You're just 13... At least consider this... It won't be fun dying off a virgin! XP At least, live a life that satisfies 你 before dying Amira Sharma!!
(K.. I feel like an old sage all of a sudden...)
FOR THE SAKE OF ME AND MY FUTURE CHILDREN! DONT' DIE!!!
(I'm completely serious here...)
爱情 ya!
* Secret Base is probably a scrapbook that the 作者 gave Amira as a gift.
** Ayush is someone, probably, the author's brother, who the duo has entitled as completely conceited.
That was it... Please share your thoughts in the comments...
The names have been changed as per author's request...
November 13
Dear Amira,
K so... without going on about any trivial stuff this time, 你 should know that I've 更多 than you'd expect to say about stuff I usually don't go on about on phone 或者 in person...
When I heard about your suicide attempt from Jaya and the others, it took some time (visibly an understatement) to process. To be extremely honest, I was hurt... When I finally got everything in my head, I felt extremely hurt...
你 most probably didn't tell me because 你 thought I'd cry, be pissed, be worried to death, 或者 你 won't be able to face me anymore, but let me tell you, not telling me was only worse...
Right now, I could go on about how it must be tough on 你 或者 try to provide 你 with solace but I want to be completely honest with you.
Talk to me when you're feeling that way dumbo!! That's exactly what I'm there for! When 你 called me up and 说 that the reason 你 managed to restrain yourself from such an attempt earlier was the feeling that 你 won't get to talk to me if 你 died, IT MADE ME HAPPY!! It made me soo happy that I could cry 你 know! I COULD LITERALLY CRY!
When all this came out the way it wasn't supposed to, I wanted to just.. slap some sense into you... I wanted to slap 你 soo hard! But then, I realized that the one at fault is me... I am the one who should be slapped, for 更多 reasons that I'd like to count... I have failed as a best friend - completely failed... Let alone prevention, I couldn't even see through you...
Well now, for goodness' sake, don't go on blaming yourself for this way of thinking of mine! Listen to all my venting! That's the least I expect of you... Of course well, 你 CAN blame yourself, if 你 want me to feel worse that is.
Think about it... put yourself in my shoes... Well, ik.. easier 说 than done...i'm feeling worse than one could imagine right now..
I mean... Miss Amira Sharma! How could you!! 你 stupid dumbo!! How could 你 let a stupid bunch of lazy neurons take control over you!! The 你 I know!!
I don't know shit about this clinical depression crap K? I'm a bloody idiotic dumbass! But seriously dude, I COULD help 你 tell off those lowlife neurons that Amira Sharma isn't as weak as 你 useless crappy cells think she is! only if 你 want me to, that is... 你 might think that you're weak... But you're not... And if 你 deny, I'd totally give in to the opinion that my friendship has been useless all along...
K... 你 might feel like 你 should die and the world is better off without you, but for once, for goodness' sake, look around... Your mom was sitting 下一个 to 你 crying when 你 woke up, wasn't she?
你 have plenty of things to live for!! Want me to name 3? k!
1. 老友记 & Family
2. One Direction
3. Me...
Damn!I don't remember when was the last time I felt so pissed!
I don't always say it, but dude, you're a BLESSING in my life! I have no idea where I would've been without 你 around! I wonder if I'd have ever come to know what friendship means if it weren't for you...
Every word I've ever written in this darned diary was straight from my heart!! I wouldn't waste my precious time I could've spent sleeping 或者 watching 日本动漫 in making that 'Secret Base'* for just some trivial friend...
I don't think I'd understand one BFF post on FB from the ones that we feel are relatable as of now if I hadn't met you!
Don't we always go on about how we're proud of this bond, which is totally different from those girly duos who claim to be best 老友记 and flaunt their pics on social sites just to end up as strangers after a few years...
Okay... I finally feel like I'll HAVE to name a few things 你 can be proud of... So, here goes...
- your nature
- your face
- your figure
- your voice
- your hair
- your... wait... almost everything ever...
(complimenting 你 is STILL a drag... I'm sorry XD)
Damn! okay.. After this, I wouldn't mind if 你 reached the Ayush** level of conceit, I guess...
I wouldn't try to make an effort to keep under control the height of your flight either... Just start flying.
"Being down to earth is great, but being under the earth is nothing close to being good..."
I know stuff is easier 说 than done... But still, I'll help 你 start moving forward, step 由 step, maybe... I'll help 你 start looking up at yourself dude... You're totally 更多 amazing than 你 think 你 are... You're worth 更多 than 你 think 你 are... (Not every girl gets a reverse harem 你 know? XD)
A lot of people 爱情 你 Amira!! And I'm one of them... God doesn't send a lot of pieces like 你 down here...
Just smile already!
Didn't 你 say 你 won't let me be 由 myself even if I wanted to? I hope 你 keep your word...
If 你 ever feel that way again, CALL ME! And if 由 any, i.e. 1 in a 1000 chance, I don't pick up, read this diary... 或者 the Secret Base! 你 can even come over. 或者 listen to 1D... 或者 WATCH ANIME!!
Now I wanna sound kinda selfish here, so.. 你 must know, without 你 around, I'd be 更多 lonely that I'd like to imagine... I don't have as many 老友记 as 你 think I do... :P
I want to keep talking to 你 about 1D and ANIME!! Forever!!
I want to see our children marrying each other!! XD
Oh come on.. You're just 13... At least consider this... It won't be fun dying off a virgin! XP At least, live a life that satisfies 你 before dying Amira Sharma!!
(K.. I feel like an old sage all of a sudden...)
FOR THE SAKE OF ME AND MY FUTURE CHILDREN! DONT' DIE!!!
(I'm completely serious here...)
爱情 ya!
* Secret Base is probably a scrapbook that the 作者 gave Amira as a gift.
** Ayush is someone, probably, the author's brother, who the duo has entitled as completely conceited.
That was it... Please share your thoughts in the comments...