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posted by FanFun1010
One day. I was sound a asleep in my bed, snuggled up to the covers dreaming. Then all of a sudden water got poured of my face and I jumped out the 床, 床上 half asleep like a maniac. All I could see was my brother standing with a red plastic cup in his hand. So I began to throw my fist at his face, yelling," WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!". Everyone could hear my voice 7 miles away, but no one gave a damn. Later in the afternoon My mom yelled at me and 说 "You need to get yo "A" and two double snakes to the store and buy some milk,eggs,flour and 苹果 juice.I thought" what in mother's name can 你 make with milk,eggs,flour, and 苹果 juice. My mom was a really good cook. She can turn 牛奶 into cheese without using giant machines and all that. I put on my long puffy red 涂层, 外套 with my bag hanging off one shoulder. I stepped outside to smell the cold air. Then i walked a fourth of a mile to the bus stop. The bus arrived and I got on. I remember this lady had seemed to be staring at me. It was creepy. She had a lazy eye, used a cane, her hair was as white as snow. She sat right behind me. Then she starts to scream at my back pack saying "I WILL KILL 你 MUTHERF***ER!".She kept yelling at my bag like it did something to her. So I told her " Stop yelling at my bag, old lady!!". Then she got up stood in my face. I was so scared, but I couldn't help staring at her yellow teeth. One of her teeth was missing." WHAT THE HELL DID 你 SAY TO ME!?! The us driver stepped in and 说 " GET OFF MY BUS!!!". "Who?" I said. THE BOTH OF YOU!!!! After that i ended up walking a mile to the store. and about half a mile back. At the end of the 日 I always say "God, I hate my life".
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posted by deathroman13
Everyone knows, shit happens everywhere

Confucianism
Confucius says: “Shit happens”.
Buddhism
If shit happens, it is not really shit.
Zen Buddhism
Shit is, and is not.
Hinduism
This shit happened before.
Shintoism
This shit happens everywhere.
Judaism
Why does this shit always happen to us?
Christianity
Shit happens to sinners.
Islam
Shit happens if it is the will of God.
Astrology
Shit is written in the stars.
Catholicism
If shit happens, 你 deserve it.
Protestantism
Shit happens, so let 's make it worthwhile.
Lutheranism
When shit happens, change the subject.
Calvinism
Shit happens because 你 don't work hard...
continue reading...
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