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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask 你 say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing 衬衫 sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always 评论 on how hot their body look doing what looks hot!

8.Wait 你 run into a guy pervert PERV FIGHT!!!!!

9.Talk about the most perverted thing 你 did and said!

10.Anyways,if 你 like pickles,bananas,cucumbers and things shaped like that eat them sexy!

11.When a guy says"hey girl why don't 你 do that to my hot dog?" 你 simple say "I only do this with guys bigger that 5 inches" ^^

12.Always hang on to a guys arm and put your hand in their pocket!

13.If they don't like 吻乐队(Kiss) them 吻乐队(Kiss) them 吻乐队(Kiss) THEM!!!well be touchy!

14.Watch a lot of guy on guy action and stuff like that!

15.Always be a pervert to a certain type never random.LIKE THIS CLUB!!!!!!!!

16.Listening to perverted 音乐 and sometimes 爱情 songs

17.Have perverted maginzes,books and movies

18.At parties wear revealing clothes but bot too revealing.You 展示 your stomach not boob showing,leg 展示 no arm showing,boobs no smotach,or arm 展示 no legs!

19.Always hang out with cute guys!!

20.Live in places were boys are at and it's hot so they wear short sleeve shirts and, 或者 shorts!

21.Look cute and be innoncent 表演 but not really *evil laugh*

22.Be confident and crazy

23.Be really pretty

24.Be a little popular

The End if it's bad F**K 你 IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE A DICK 或者 婊子, 子 AND SORRY IF SOMEONE ALREDY MADE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry for typos and stuff!!!
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added by edwardcarlisle
Source: dumage
added by Monrose
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added by 7things
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added by cupcake219
added by iFly_12
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posted by Bluekait
6
French Fries are deep fried in horse oil in France.

Kittens are born with blue eyes, but change when they get older.

People born in November are 更多 likely to become serial killers.

Everything 你 see is actually upside down and your brain just flips it around.

You can't actually multi-task.

Easily distracted people are the ones who are the most creative.

When a person appears in your dreams, that person misses you.

Music can lead teens to depression.

You are 更多 likely to dream when 你 are depressed.

Your odor is as unique as your fingerprint.

If 你 tear off paper from bottles, 你 are sexually...
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posted by FlufflyHands
1
Everyone is putting stuff up about Walmart, I was smart enough to think of CVS :D (I made these up on my own with no one elses help btw)

1. Resort the medicine aisle

2. Run around like an idiot until 你 are told to stop, once the person who stopped turns around do it again, repeat this process until your told to leave, then run out like an idiot

3. Go up to the cash register and tell the clerk that someone is "poaching" medicine, then run out of the store

4. Take the magazines 你 see and tear them to pieces, then go up to the front (were the cash register is) and throw the pieces up the air and...
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posted by awesomeblossom1
9
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope 你 like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when 你 heard someone talking on the intercom, 你 fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give 你 a ride 首页 and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a 蘑菇 and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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posted by fanfly
6
A while back I wrote an 文章 about link. I've decided to follow it up with a tutorial on how to make icons! They're actually much the same- the major difference is size.

You will need an image editing program. I use Corel Paint 商店 Pro but I think most people use Photoshop.

There's also the following online programs but I've never used them and this tutorial isn't necessarily meant to be used with them because I have no idea what these programs are capable of doing.

link
link
link




the Size of Your 图标 Matters


Now this part is extremely important and I can't tell 你 how many 图标 I've seen that...
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posted by iluvsmj
3
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of 你 bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of 你 bastards who are getting on, get your 屁股 in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want 你 to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When 你 come out,you may play with your train, but I want you...
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Ok so me and my friend 爱情 the mall but what makes it 更多 fun are the following

-When your 迷失 looking for a store ask them in a british accents! here's an example "Pardon me, could 你 please point me in the direction of ______" (if u are british do it in a differnt accent like american austraian ect.)

-When 你 go into a store adress your friend 由 a differnt name and have a weird personality

-if 你 go into one of those store that plays the 音乐 REALLY loud, sing along like there's nobody else in the store but 你 and ur friend.

-Have weird conversations about 随意 things. like terrorists 或者 something

Have fun with 老友记 at the mall!
posted by ilovepenguins
5
50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time 你 turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him 或者 her that you’ve 迷失 your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he 或者 she has anything...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
3
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four 问题 to determine the level of your intellect. Your 回复 must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating 或者 wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: 你 are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in 秒 place.
In which position are 你 now?

Answer:

If 你 answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. 你 overtook the 秒 runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the 下一个 问题 try not to be so dumb.

2 : If 你 overtake the last...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
8
a boy was asked 由 his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes 首页 and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother 回复 " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad 回复 "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 回复 "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she 回复 "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by Mallory101
4
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All 你 Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's 心 is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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Wax the ceiling.
Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car.
Drop your cat from a high place, to see if it really does land on all four feet.
Repeat above until failure.
Rearrange political campaign signs.
Sharpen your teeth.
Play Houdini with one of your siblings.
Braid your 狗 hair.
Clean and polish your belly button.
Water your dog...see if he grows.
Wash a tree.
Knight yourself and some close friends.
Found the Jim Jones' School of Modern Bartending.
Flirt with an evergreen.
Scare Steven King.
Give your cat a mohawk.
Purr.
Mow your carpet.
Rake your carpet (to clean up the clippings.)...
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posted by slytherin360
33
found this on the net:

9 Fun Things to Do During a Boring Lecture

1) When the professor asks a question, raise your hand. If the professor calls on you, point to someone in the 下一个 row and say "He knows." Pick a different person each time.

2) Buy a watermelon. Give it to the professor. If he/she asks, say "They were out of apples."

3) Bring a fishing rod. Try to catch things on the professor's desk.

4) Bring a tape player and a tape of a thunderstorm. Keep it hidden. Sometime during the lecture, start the tape, stand up, claim that the professor has angered the gods and leave. Watch to see...
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posted by thatguywashot
11
1.Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."

2.A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".

3.Put stray 狗 in 涂层, 外套 closets.

4.Un-tune the piano.

5.Replace the pianist's sheet 音乐 with "Stairway to Heaven".

6.Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.

7.Find an empty seat, and ask the person 下一个 to it: "Is this 座位 SAVED?"

8.Toss around a giant 海滩 ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.

9.Ten 分钟 before it starts, find...
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