Don't yell like that. It gives off the vibe that you're an attention whore. I honestly like it. Grow some confidence. Believe in your skills. If 你 keep putting yourself down, you're not going to get better.
Look I am going to tell 你 the truth alright. (If anyone decide to get on my 屁股 for this. Lemme tell 你 you're walking into a hornet's nest. DO NOT start.)
I don't really like it. I think it needs some improvement. I believe 你 can get better but 你 need to practice to be quite honest. I am not one for cuteness. In fact I tend to dislike things overly cute. if 你 like it as an artist that should be the most important that matters 你 know? And 下一个 time please don't yell. Because that will only hurt your reputation on this site and to not be considered a troll. I'd suggest 你 don't do that. Just practicing and 你 will get better and 你 know to have confidence in yourself and when 你 have confidence 你 will eventually get better.