If you're 写作 a novel (i apologise for spelling now, i am english just bery drunk) then the best thing i can do is be honest.
What deopressed me most if seeing the hurt in my son's eyes. What deopressed me most is realising that although i have survived mental, phsycial and sexual torture, that i have a job, a family and a home, i am as happy as can be but the monsters still haunt me at night. What depresses me most is seeing the things i don't want to see. What depresses me most is knowing that the mental facility declared me insane, what depressed me most is that i fought my way out of it and can not lead a happy life while still hallucinating and trying to commit suicide. What depresses me most is that i 爱情 my son, and yet i can never be good enough for him.
What depresses me most if that my son my not realise how lucky he is, to have a mother who loves him dearly but is selfish enough to try and kill herself, who is selfish enough to 取消 therapy lesson to earn money to pay bills, who is selfish enough to tell him she loves him and 吻乐队（Kiss） him goodnight, but two hours later cries and tries to drink herself to oblivion.
What depresses me most is knowing that my son loves me, without a shadow of a doubt, knowing i will always be there for him, knowing i will always be there to care for him, to fight his corner, and knowing i will one 日 let him down.