I was in Science class, and my teacher Mr. Giddings was giving a lecture on cells. Then he asked Jack, a guy in my grade, how many cells were in the human body (approximately). Jack wasn't paying attention, and he answered " Er... Hamster?" The whole class burst out laughing as Mr. Giddings walked over to the cabinet, and banged his head on it VERY deliberately. repeatedly. It was frigging hilarious xD
We were in the computer lab trying to look up kid drawings for child development and I kept getting "weird" stuff, the student teacher told me...(this is the exact quote) "Ashley, 下一个 time you're gonna look up inappropriate stuff let me know first so I can look with you."
Well, let's see... My life science teacher, Mr. Gomez, was teaching us about how flowering seed plants reproduce. This is how it went, in his exact words. "So, the stamen on the 花 starts wiggling in the wind, which causes pollen to fly off of the anther. Eventually, it will land on the pistil of another flower, and it'll go down the style, meet with an ovule and an egg, and that'll form a zygote. In other words, the stamen goes *wiggles hand*wiggle, wiggle wiggle...*whips wrist*HA!!! and then it sticks to the pistil, hits an egg, and makes a baby plant in a seed." Everybody referenced the Wiggle dance that day.
Another one was when my 黑塔利亚 mind took over during social studies. We were doing current events and someone did one on a 伏特加 museum in Russia. An image of Russia jumping off a plain while screaming VODKAAA~! went through my head, and I stood up and imitated it. I then burst out laughing and fell on the floor. I got sent to the nurse.
Don't do TL:DR because trust me, this is worth it.
SCIENCE CLASS: So my science teacher is pregnant again and there's this annoying kid named Jeffta. He calls her "Pregnant Woman" so she calls him Puberty Boy. And that Jeffta guy and this other guy named Mateo where talking once when she was talking, and it was a weird angle so the teacher 说 "Look, I know 你 have feelings for each other and I support that, but please, no making out in my classroom."
HEALTH CLASS: We sometimes had a sub named Mr. George who was awesome last year. He caught on that we all made fun of this guy named Matt. So once we were talking about STDs and when they 说 the symptoms, Matt would make weird sounds. So Mr. George 说 "If 你 make those noises, that means 你 have it!" Another time was when they were talking about acne and stuff and Mr. George 说 "So 你 shouldn't wear makeup because 你 don't need it. I will let Matt wear it though, because he does and he really needs it."
Then once the teacher was gone in Humanities class to go to the bathroom 或者 something so I fake-coughed and 说 loudly, "KEEGAN ALLEN IS HOT." Then a few girls were like "OH YEAH!" and the rest of the class was like "Waaaaahhhhhhh?"
And for some reason in some class, I forget what, my friend and I started talking about Italy and the Renaissance and I was like "OMG" and started using Italian names for landmarks and cities and my friend was like "...........erm what?" And I 说 "Blame Assassin's Creed, Isabelle. Blame the video games."
Last 年 my Humanities teacher didn't like kids going to the bathroom so she made our bathroom pass a HUGE sign on a stick that 说 "I HAVBE TO URINATE" and "I HAVE TO POO."
And then my teachers did this. Not in a classroom but it's still hilarious.