*turns tape recorder on*
June 9th, 2014
Location: Classif-....oh, for Pete's sake, why am i even bothering to keep my location hidden anymore? I'm in the Central park zoo. 企鹅 habitat. My panic room. Happy now?
Anywho, i needed to make an update to my biography. What with the craziness that happened a little while ago, and all, i feel it's important to record this.
Our files are still a bit messed up, so I'll need to update again later. Besides, it'll give 你 all something to look 前锋, 期待 to!
A few months ago, we dealt with a secret agent force of 动物 called the North Wind (Their 格言 is "No One Breaks the Wind". Can 你 believe that?)
We joined forces with them, and their leader, Agent Classified to defeat evil octopus villain Octavius Brine- Dave, to his friends.
In North Wind, there were some of the most talented animal agents i've ever come in contact with- though my team will always be first!
Let's see... we had Classified, himself, and he's a wolf, Short Fuse, the seal/weapons expert, Eva, the Russian snowy owl/ intelligence analyst that Kowalski fell head over flippers for, and Corporal; the Norwegian 熊 who hugged us to death half the time.
Octavius Brine is on a mission to wipe out the entire 企鹅 species (Good thing Blowhole didn't take any pointers from this guy), and i mean, who better to save us than us? I was just miffed that every single time something like this happens, a bad guy NEVER attacks us on a weekday between nine to five. The rest of us have lives, 你 know. It's not like we devote every waking moment to-...
I'm getting off topic.
To think, all this craziness happened when we tried to break into Fort Knox to steal the last remaining vending machine for Private's 最喜爱的 snack 食物 :Cheesy Dibbles.
Our adventure will take us to the Venice Canals, the markets of Shanghai, and to several other locations i don't have the authority to tell 你 about yet since those files haven't been declassified.
Until then; remember... 你 didn't hear anything!
*shuts tape recorder off*
(authors note; yes. i just gave away a LOT of the movie, but i found that information online)