Dedicated to my father, the Central Park Zoo and their wonderful penguins, and all the zoo animals, villains and Zoo staff who made 潮流粉丝俱乐部 accounts, without whom 你 wouldn’t be 阅读 this story.
“One Heck of a Town”, a P.o.M 粉丝 fiction.
Sunday, March 03, 2013.
New York City is a sprawling mass of gorgeous architecture, noisy streets, and fantastic smells. It’s a city where anything can happen, right down to solving a case with Richard Castle, falling deep below the depths of the Big 苹果 in Suzanne Collin’s Underland, fighting monsters of myths with Percy Jackson, 或者 going on missions with the Penguins of Madagascar.
It’s the greatest city on Earth, with an attitude to match. It’s a rough and tumble, wash-‘n-wear, 袜子 -you -in -the -gut -and -spray -you -with –mace-if-you- DARE- to-mug-me city. Naturally, this means I 爱情 it. It’s practically right in my backyard, but going there is a rare treat for me. I only visit maybe once 或者 twice in a 年 if I’m lucky.
That Sunday was such a day. My dad and I were dropped off at 61st and Woodside plaza at around 9:30 in the morning and took the 7 train to Queensboro Plaza, the train stopped there due to construction, but that was our stop to begin with. Then we took the N train to 5th Avenue and 57th Street; Central Park, the Plaza Hotel, the glass 苹果 building, F.A.O Schwartz and the former location of the C.B.S Early 显示 before it was changed to C.B.S This Morning and moved down to 57th 街, 街道 between 10th and 11th Avenue.
He and I had a big 日 planned. A Gemstone exhibit at F.A.O Schwartz, the Central Park Zoo, then head Downtown to the Old Merchant House; the most haunted building in Manhattan, then to a small 商店 of oddities and curiosities called “Obscura”.
In the Gem exhibit (which was a small satellite of a larger museum exhibit) Gift Shop, I purchased two fine specimens of Pyrite. Dad and I wandered around the big toy store for the 下一个 小时 或者 so, amazed at the remote control helicopters and space-age modern toys they had for sale. 由 that time it was around 10:40 in the morning. Then we stopped to take a look at the lobby of the Plaza Hotel. It was simply gorgeous, with marble and crystal glimmering as far as the eye could see. It had several levels and actually had a few pricy shops to match the overdone, but gorgeous decor. Once we were in Central Park, we walked to the Zoo (in the Southeast corner of the park). I was excited as a kid in a 糖果 store because I was a 粉丝 of “The Penguins of Madagascar”, which was set in the Zoo. I hurt my hand operating the Souvenir Penny Press, though. The coin slot was stuck, and I had to press it really hard, and left a small, but painful scrape on my palm, but was rewarded with a pressed penny stamped with two swimming King Penguins.
Upon entering 你 pass the Dancing 起重机 Café to your right. To your left is the Gift shop. When 你 get to the gate, 你 are greeted 由 a ticket taker. Our first stop was looking at the Japanese Snow Monkeys, which were in a hot spring-like outdoor habitat. 下一个 was the large “Tropical Zone” where we were greeted 由 a blast of humid, muggy air rivaled only be this fabulous city’s record high temperature in August. Flying overhead in the abundant foliage were tropical birds of every shape, size and color, all co-existing while humans snapped pictures of them.
On some levels, they also had some reptiles. Poison Dart frogs were in one tank, but we couldn’t see any. Some fancy type of 鼠, 大鼠 snake was in one tank, sharing it with a large maroon-colored jungle frog. They did that sometimes, put a reptile in with a frog, I mean. There were also bats, mongooses and exotic tamarins (some sort of primate that looked like a mixture of a 狐猴 and a little old man). The 狐猴 habitat was somewhat disappointing. I only managed to take one picture of a sleeping 狐猴 relaxing on a rock. The rest were jumping around at the back of the habitat smashing mangoes.
Once we were outside we went around to see the snow leopards (they must have been camouflaged. We saw nothing), followed 由 a group of Eider Ducks, and then a single, slumbering Polar Bear. Due to my lack of common sense, we took a wrong turn and missed seeing a few exhibits.Then it was off to see the penguins. There were several kinds, about 30 of them in total, sharing a habitat. They actually were doing a “cute and cuddly” routine like in the show, especially four of them. I didn’t pay too much attention to the four that were flipping and only remembered it as we were leaving, but I could have sworn I saw one staring at me. Then we saw the puffins in the 下一个 indoor habitat, across the room from the penguins. The seals were in the very center of the zoo. They, at least, were moving around and flipping for the viewers’ enjoyment.
After that we took a look in the Tisch’s Children’s Zoo. 你 got there 由 going under the archways of the famous Delacorte Clock (towards the back of the Zoo) , which chimes and plays a tune every half and 小时 and every hour. It had your typical goats, and some birds as well. Some assorted farm animals. My dad and I then went to the “Zootique at Central Park”, which was their ridiculously named gift shop.
After the Zoo, my dad and I took the F train Downtown to 29 East 4th 街, 街道 to see the Old Merchant House Museum. We must have JUST missed the train, because it took about a half an 小时 to get on the F train. Passing through Washington Square Park where we saw two teen boys tap dancing and a man playing a baby grand 钢琴 for money, we got to the house and stayed there, seeing the lavish Greek Revival/ Victorian interior, absorbing each and every detail till 3 o’clock. It’s supposedly the most haunted place in Manhattan after being occupied for almost a hundred years, from 1835 to 1933, 由 the Tredwell family. It offered a gorgeous insight to what life was like during the mid-1800s in New York, with its bronze gaslight chandeliers, mahogany furniture, a double parlor with black and 金牌 fireplace mantles and decorative plaster carvings on the walls and ceilings, and the simple, rickety old servant’s quarters. (and yeah, my dad and I heard some unexplained scream coming from the attic). Then we were off to “Obscura” popularized 由 the Science Channel’s 流行的 series, “Oddities”, on Avenue A and 12th Street. It has everything from human skulls, to medical antiques! The place is a paradise for the unusual and strange.
Browsing some 更多 shops afterwards it was close to 5:30 pm, so we decided to head home, but something happened that prevented that from happening, and it was ANYTHING but ordinary.
We planned to take the F train back to the 74th and Roosevelt Avenue Terminal, but because of the construction that stopped the 7 train from going any further than Queensboro Plaza, it would have made several 更多 local stops than we needed. It would have made its entrance into Queens as soon as we got to 23rd 街, 街道 and Court Square, but I didn’t take the train home. The flashes of black and white I kept seeing since we left the Zoo were NOT the product of my crazed-fan imagination.
Then, the impossible happened. Time itself froze. I was looking at the world as if it was a still photograph. Pedestrians that clamored to get on the train to Brooklyn were as still as statues. Litter blown from the winds of upcoming trains hovered in mid-air. That guy dressed like a circus clown crossed with a fairy princess took a halted step, stuck in that position like a fly in amber. My dad was 《冰雪奇缘》 in the middle of finishing a Hershey’s king size 浓情巧克力 bar.
Then I realized, with panic that I was the only one moving. I could see, and hear and 移动 around.
Waddling towards me were the four penguins from the Zoo that no one could identify, each wearing a miniature microphone, like the kind 你 would use for hands-free talking on a cell phone. They were listed on the display as not having a definite species. All it 说 was “Species awaiting classification. Most closely related to Adelie penguins: Pygoscelis adeliae” and a 照片 of one of the penguins from the habitat.
I knew at once I either had the 比萨, 比萨饼 I had for lunch spiked with drugs, 或者 I was seeing four 随意 escapee penguins who just so happened to closely resemble animated cartoon characters copyrighted 由 DreamWorks. I chose the former rather than the latter because 比萨, 比萨饼 spiked with LSD 或者 something seemed a little TOO off-the-wall crazy.
Ok….. so I was seeing penguins in the subway. This is New York City we’re talking about! This stuff must happen daily, right?
Wrong.
Pressing a button on the side of the headset, the 企鹅 who was staring me down earlier spoke into the microphone and 说 in Skipper’s annoyed tone, “It’s about time we caught up with you, soldier! We’ve been all over creation and back looking for the chance to talk with you!”
I did what came naturally; freaked out and pretended to faint, which was kind of dumb considering there was no one to see what I did.
The tallest 企鹅 face-palmed as best he could using flippers and 说 in Kowalski’s voice; “Oy….. 你 can get up now. We’ll explain everything as best we can.”
Private waddled over towards me and 说 in a gentle, concerned tone, “Are 你 all right?”
I shot up as fast as a bullet and sat down on the nearest subway bench.
I got my first detailed look at my flippered companions as they waddles over towards me.
Standing at 18 inches in height, Kowalski was the tallest, with a rich, baritone to 低音 voice. They all resembled their animated counterparts, especially Kowalski, but there was one odd detail I noticed. His eyes were the uniform sapphire blue of the other three penguins, but one of his eyes was tinged brown towards the center of the iris.. Other than that, his face had the same proud, confident look to it as seen so often in the series.
Rico was slightly shorter than Kowalski. He had an awkward sort of lumber in his waddle, like they’d 显示 a fat person walking in a cartoon- not that Rico was fat of course, he had a small double chin and was a bit chubby. His beak had his trademark scar on the left side, going down an inch 或者 so below his beak. Rico’s eyes had a nice enough look in them, but he looked like he was zoning out half the time. On his head, he had a crazy mop of feathers that passed for a mohawk.
Private looked halfway between an adult penguin, and what I guess would be close to a teenager. He was maybe a foot tall, and 梨 shaped. His eyes were a shade of deep lavender and had a warm, kind look in them. He was the kind of 企鹅 you’d want to cuddle for forever! Private had a few downy feathers here and there, 展示 he wasn’t quite a fully-grown adult yet.
I’ll just say it now. Skipper’s head was flat. It was 更多 rounded, like they showed in the “Madagascar” movies, but 你 could tell, even from a distance that it was flat. The illusion of having a perfectly flat head was marred 由 the single, questioning brow he raised as if he was sizing me up. His eyes were deep sapphire blue and his face had a look of authority on it. Out of all the penguins, Skipper looked the most like he was portrayed in the animated cartoon.
Skipper broke the silence. “So, soldier, what brings 你 to our neck of the woods?”
“This is awesome and all that we’re meeting but, before now, we’ve never met. How could 你 possibly know me? I didn’t even know you- let alone talking penguins- existed!” I said, looking down at Skipper.
“Uhh…erm… social media.” 说 Skipper, reluctantly. Kowalski shot me a look that 说 “Don’t ask any more.”
“More importantly, why do 你 want to talk to me?” I asked, crouching to the ground so I was as close to eye level as possible with them.
“We need 你 to help us go on a mission for the sake of our show, and possibly the world!” 说 Skipper, with bravado.
“Since we know 你 as well as we do out of all our 粉丝 we have monitored, 你 seem to be a good choice for our mission.” explained Kowalski.
Though I had my suspicions about just how they knew about me- and I was probably right- I kept my mouth shut.
Apparently, they, along with numerous other penguins live in the same habitat. The TV series was based on an older 设计 of the zoo, before the restoration project a few years back, which was around the last time I was there. This was after the big escapade in Madagascar.
“Well,” 说 Skipper, “It was either a movie about us, 或者 some forest 动物 that wandered into people’s Suburban homes and 偷了 food. We got the better end of the deal.” He concluded with a small smirk
The infamous Manfredi and Johnson once lived in the habitat with the penguins up until recently, when they left for England to be the newest agents in Private’s Uncle Nigel’s spy agency situated in London. Blowhole (after he regained his memory in the real life version of the final P.o.M episode) caught wind of them being out of retirement and kidnapped them for ransom, which was why they needed me. Kowalski was NOT willing to give up all of his inventions.
“So 你 need me to help get them back? What does this have to do with the fate of the world? 或者 the 显示 for that matter?”
“Absolutely nothing. I just 说 that to get your undivided attention.” 说 Skipper.” And as far as the show’s concerned, this might help bring it back for a few 更多 seasons!”
Now all we had to do was head back to the zoo. My father was transported (using a molecular scrambler. Basically, it’s just a fancy teleportation device) back home, where my family would remain 《冰雪奇缘》 in time, while the rest of the world kept going on normally.
The penguins donned their disguise of a floppy hat and overcoat (with the four of them stacked underneath) and we went back on the subway to 5th Avenue and 57th Street.
The zoo was closed, but the penguins managed to find a way in 由 hopping over a fence in the Snow leopard habitat. Just like in the series, the Zootique was used as their meeting hall. There I learned the sleeping polar 熊 was Ted, one of several poison dart frogs ( the blue one in the picture on the tank) was Barry, King Julien and Maurice and Mort were sleeping in the 树 line above where the rest of the lemurs were, hidden from view 由 the foliage. I also completely bypassed several of the main character’s habitats when my dad and I took a wrong turn and ended up 由 the Snow Monkeys again.
The little microphones the penguins wore are multi species language translators. Just like in the Madagascar movies, all humans could hear when 动物 “spoke” were the typical sounds they would expect to hear, like birds squawking, 或者 狗 barking. Using the translator, a whole new world of sound was opened up to me. In the crowded gift shop, a clamoring bunch of animal noises was turned into a clamoring throng of zoo 动物 voicing complaints, wondering who I was, asking why I didn’t stop 由 for a chat while I was there, etc. (that last one was Marlene) All I had to do was keep this on the entire time I was with them. I was even allowed to keep it. (Which I did. Let’s just say for now that my 小狗 is 10 times cuter than before now that I can understand him).
I was introduced to so many birds, penguins, puffins, reptiles, amphibians and monkeys that after a while they all began to look the same to me. When the meeting died down and most of the 动物 went back to their habitats, just the four penguins and myself were left in the shop.
“Can we get to the mission now? I’d like to start this. It’s already 7 pm, and I have school tomorrow!” I said, urgently pacing across the floor, in front of the cash register.
“Anxious much? I don’t blame you, soldier. Not every 日 你 get to go on a mission with us!” beamed Skipper.
“Actually, sir, it may literally be every 日 until Manfredi and Johnson are returned. I haven’t fixed my cloning machine from the last time it broke, so we can’t duplicate him. We’ll start tomorrow at 3pm 或者 so. I’ll even help 你 with your homework if 你 like.” suggested Kowalski
“Thanks for the homework offer, but you’re needed elsewhere. For instance, do we even have a plan?”
“Kowalski, options!” 说 Skipper.
“Blowhole is back at his old base in Coney Island. We take the subway down to Brooklyn, ambush him, and rescue Manfredi and Johnson. Of course, that’s it in a nutshell, the actual plan is highly complicated and involves many steps, which I’ve taken the liberty to write down!” 说 Kowalski, producing a small piece of folded paper, which quickly grew to impossible dimensions about the size of a small area rug.
“Lovely.” I said, mildly sarcastic.
“And of course we still have to head back to our main base. The seals let us use it, so all of our things are there. We only stay at the main viewing area for humans’ enjoyment, and head there at night. I miss the telly, sometimes.” explained Private, with a small sigh at the end.
“We’ll start fresh in the afternoon. I’ll send 你 a 潮流粉丝俱乐部 电子邮箱 if we have any 更多 leads, 或者 changes in the plan. Goodnight, Adam.” concluded Kowalski.
Monday, March 4th, 2013.
After completing my homework, I patiently waited for the penguins to scramble me over to their habitat.
由 the time they got around to it, it was 4:05, according to the time on my phone.
True to their words, the 密封 (or are they sea lions?) habitat was a literal cover for their HQ. I’m happy to say that despite the major changes to the zoo, their HQ looks exactly the way it’s represented in the animated cartoon. ( and I got a copy of the blueprints for the HQ!!! :D )Turning on their Television, Channel 1 News with Chuck Charles was doing the same story on the hit and run with that Brooklyn couple like every other news station. Chuck looked an awful lot like the CBS This Morning News Anchor, Charlie Rose, only fatter, but none of that was important.
What mattered was that I was in the 企鹅 HQ and being so….calm about it. Like it was the most normal thing in the world to find out there are real life versions of your 最喜爱的 cartoon characters. What the 鱼 was wrong with me?!
But I decided I’d go all fan-crazy on them when all this was over. Feeling awkward standing up, I sat down on the floor of the HQ, right 下一个 to their bunks. I just about jumped out of my skin when Rico “accidentally” set off a 火, 消防 饼干 night 下一个 to me.
“Rico!” snapped Skipper, “What did I tell you? No explosives in the HQ!”
“Sorry…” grunted the penguin, looking not sorry at all. He waddled over towards me, plopped himself beside me and started fiddling around with Ms. Perky, his doll girlfriend. (who was just as busty in real life as she was in the show. A fact I think is a bit shocking in a 显示 meant for children). She looked like a glorified 芭比娃娃 with a bad 1950s hairdo, but I didn’t want to upset Rico.
I sighed impatiently, wanting to be included in on the action. After all, I WAS hand….um….flipper-picked to 加入 in on this mission, wasn’t I? But I decided to let things take their course. I didn’t know enough about the mission like they did. Heck, half of my Skipper “Biography” was probably completely wrong! I had debated whether to ask Skipper about it, when his voice jarred me out of my thoughts.
“Soldier! We need 你 over here. Kowalski finally worked out the bugs in the plan and we need your approval.”
Pinch me now, I must be dreaming!
“Ok, what’s the plan, Stan?” I said, trying and failing to conceal my 欢乐合唱团 with humor.“
“If we take the F train all the way to the end of the line, we should reach Coney Island in about an hour.” He said, moving around a few beads on his abacus.
“Are 你 certain? This IS New York City. On a Monday. During rush hour.” I pointed out, skeptically.
“The numbers say it is so!” confirmed the penguin.
I couldn’t argue with that.
“Once we get there, Blowhole’s tank is in the farthest part of the Aquarium. We knock the lobsters out-because there are bound to be sentries 或者 guards- and sneak in through the duct work. Blowhole’s inner sanctum of a vast network of underground caverns. Most likely, he has Freddy and Johnny tied up and gagged-“
“Like all stereotypical kidnappings.” I cut in. “I can already see the end of this: 你 guys fight and free the captives, kick some 海豚 behind, Blowhole has some last 分钟 surprise, 你 only make it worse 由 pressing 随意 buttons, but then it gets better when some unexpected thing happens and the 日 is saved, Blowhole swears he’ll keep on returning until the end of time, blah, blah, blah, end credits.”
“So cynical!” says Skipper. “Not every time we fight Blowhole ends up like our battle with that mutant lobster, Chrome Claw!”
Kowalski continued as if we had never spoken. “And then my latest invention comes into play. 你 as well, Adam. My newest invention is a machine which allows 你 to disguise your voice. It has a vast database of sounds collected from various people and animals. We need 你 to distract Blowhole for as long as possible using this, and of course we’re not going to let 你 go in there unarmed, so we’re providing 你 with….what’s your weapon of choice?”
“If this was a stereotypical action movie, I’d say , stereotypically,’ I don’t need any weapons!’ but I can’t fight at all. I’d like a blow gun. I hit what I aim at.”
Rico hacked up a small, collapsible metal tube with a mouthpiece and some darts. A simple weapon, but very effective.
“You use this only if 你 have to. We’ll need 你 to do whatever 你 can to help us if we’re not able to. Blowhole is a cold, calculating mastermind with surprisingly smooth skin, surround sound speakers, and better technology.” Kowalski grumbled at this last part., “So we need 你 to be alert.”
“If worse comes to worse, we can always let a swarm of crazed 粉丝 girls on him.” I said, jokingly.
“Or that.” 说 Skipper, taking a sip of his 鱼 coffee.
True to his word, our train stopped at Coney Island Aquarium at 5:59 pm. The sky was darkening, and the air was a bit chilly. It seemed colder since we were so close to the ocean.
Also true to Kowalski’s word, we found Blowhole’s evil lair much faster than we expected. Knocking out the two crustaceous guards guarding a sort of man hole cover made of stone situated in the front right corner of the base for the Ring of Fire, we climbed down the slippery, slimy ladder down to Blowhole’s inner sanctum.
There was just one fly in the ointment. I couldn’t fit in the air ducts. They were too small for even a baby.
. The penguins had a few 分钟 worth of a head start on me, so making sure I had my blow gun and vlice changer in my backpack, I prepared myself for what I had to do. Not wanting to disappoint my feathered compadres, I studied the floor plan for Blowhole’s lair and headed straight down a stone and chrome plated corridor. Making a left at a hallway of doors, I entered the last door to the left. This was easy….. a little TOO easy….
I opened the door slightly and got my first look at Manfredi and Johnson. Boy, were they in sorry shape! Both of them had eye patches, the tall one’s right flipper was in a sling, while the short ones left flipper was in a cast. The tall one was the same height as Kowalski, but had Rico’s mohawk and flatter, squarer head. The short one was stocky and robust and had a peg leg made out of an old plunger. He was about Skipper’s height and looked like a combination of Skipper and Rico. No offense to either of them, but even if they didn’t look like they were at death’s door, they wouldn’t be the least bit cute.
Yup…. It was bound to happen. Listening in through the door, which I opened a bit, I could hear talking.
“So, peng-yoo-ins, did 你 honestly think 你 could save your 老友记 this time? Did 你 really believe 你 could stop me?” sneered Blowhole.
Blowhole was the size of an average Atlantic Bottlenose, about 12 feet long, from snot to tail. His skin has an oily sheen to it which must have been from his moisturizer. He would have looked like your typical cute dolphin, but his eyes had a cold, sinister glint to them. His grin was evil, and full of malice. His mechanical eye was even 更多 awesome looking in person, but it only made him look 更多 evil than usual.
Typical villain talk. I can’t stand that! If you’re going to kill some one, then do it! Don’t stand there for 5 years talking about it! But this was Blowhole, after all. He likes to go on a gloating rant rivaled only 由 one of Shakespeare’s monologues. I’ll be my last dollar he’ll explain about his plan next.
‘- honestly? My plan is much too complicated for any of 你 to foil. Manfredi and Johnson were simply bait to lure 你 here.”
“What do 你 want, 鱼 face?” spat Skipper
“For the thousandth time, I am not a fish! I am a mammal! I have a blowhole! I can breathe air!” snapped Dr. Fish-face. “As far as what I want…. 你 know me well enough. What do 你 THINK I want?”
“World domination that involves ANOTHER destined-to-fail plan to flood the Earth.” Put forth Skipper.
“Ooooh…… so close. Not this time. That will be later.”
“Yeah, I got nothin’. “ 说 Skipper after several 分钟 of silence.
“This is what happens when your body is the size of my entire brain. Smaller cranial capacity doesn’t do anybody any good.” chided Blowhole sarcastically.
Kowalski shot Blowhole a glare that would have melted the Arctic.
Ignoring the Death Stare, Blowhole wheeled himself 前锋, 期待 on his Segway and stood in front of his giant computer screen monitor.
“ I intend to send 你 peng-yoo-ins to a place from which there is no return! ….THEN I’ll work on flooding the world!” he laughed manically.
“Denmark?!” gasped Skipper
“No!”
“Outer Space?” suggested Private, meekly
But he couldn’t possibly…….. that would mean…..
I couldn’t just stand there eavesdropping on them while that ugly 海豚 just stood- well, not stood, but 你 get what I mean- there and plotted to kill my newfound friends! How he planned to do this, I don’t know, nor did I want to, but I sprang into action.
In our haste to leave, Kowalski hadn’t fully explained how to operate the voice disguiser, but I still had the blow dart on me. Rico had taken the liberty of giving me 24 of them. 12 of them contained anesthesia (we used 5 of them on the 龙虾 guards) and 12 of them could take somebody’s eye out if 你 were aiming for it.
If I aimed correctly, the dart would hit Blowhole, knocking him unconscious long enough to escape with the penguins.
Aiming my blow gun at Blowhole, I fired an Anesthesia Dart at him, but was off 由 a lot. I couldn’t risk firing at him again because that might get his attention. Uh-oh…..
Phew! That was close! He didn’t even look up.
He was too busy clacking away on the computer to notice me. The poor penguins were tied up to a missile, most likely about to be launched to Outer Space, and here I was worrying about getting caught! What was wrong with me?! I knew I had to rely on my own skill and aim, a great deal of luck, and cartoon physics to get us all out of this mess, but what was I to do?!
Pacing around the hallway anxiously, I mentally slapped myself, told myself to calm down and think this through. What would the penguins do in this situation?
Several 分钟 later (as soon as I un-froze time and got back using the Molecular scrambler)
(^Ugh! I JUST realized I could have used that stretch of time to untie the penguins, but the Poster Child for the cover of “Lack of Common Sense” Magazine didn’t think about that! Two days have passed and I JUST thought of that! Oy…..* facepalm*)
Picking up the tiny 狐猴 in my hands, I said, “ Ok, Mort, this is your big chance. Before, I opened a small door on the side of that computer.” I said, pointing to Blowhole’s giant version of a PC.” I need 你 to go in there and yank out all the pretty colored strings and throw them as far as 你 can, ok?”
“Ok! Are they licorice? Can I eat them?” 说 Mort, beaming like a child on a sugar rush.
“No!” I cried out. “ I-I mean, no. They’re shocking strings. If 你 eat them, 你 could hurt yourself.” I cautioned.
“What will happen?”
“A big ZAP!, and then 你 get hurt. Just go! Pull out the pretty strings!”
Mort scampered off in the direction I pointed him to. For a cute 狐猴 with the mentality level of a 3 年 old, he moved pretty darn fast!
“Prepare to die peng-yoo-ins!” shouted Blowhole “And as for 你 two, Manfredi and Johnson, let this be the 日 你 die for real!” Under his breath, he muttered, “I’m so sick of 粉丝 instant messaging me asking if they’re alive…”
A ridiculously deep voice from his surround-sound speakers 说 “Initiating launch sequence in 5……..4…….3……”
While it was starting, I thought, “Come on, Mort! Pull out the wires!”
“2….. Launch systems failed. No input detected. Server not found. Can not find the server at missilelaunch.com. Powering down”
“WHAT?!” screamed the bottlenose dolphin, “COME ON!!!!! This plan was supposed to be foolproof!”
Suddenly, Mort’s head popped out of the side of the computer base. “Ha-ha! Pretty strings make me go ouch!” he cried with happy glee, munching on some red, blue and green wires.
“Sad eyes?!” cried Skipper in utter disbelief. “How in the name of fried oyster 《皮囊》 did 你 get here?”
“Ooh! I 爱情 fried oyster skins!” giggled Mort, tossing a bunch of gnawed on, broken wires, hitting Blowhole in the face.
“You peng-yoo-ins aren’t responsible for this?” 说 Blowhole, with even 更多 confusion than Skipper.
They gave a collected series of “ Nopes” and “Nuh-uhs”
“Then who is?!” he demanded, furiously looking around his chrome-plated lair, trying to spot any intruders.
That’s when I stepped out of the door frame.
Wielding my blow gun, I said, “I am. And as for you, Dr. Blowhole, time to sleep with the fishes.”
All it took was one puff of air, and an anesthesia- filled dart hit Blowhole’s neck. One loud thump later, the evil mammal was knocked out for several hours, judging 由 the dosage in the dart.
“Nice shot!” congratulated Manfredi…or was it Johnson? Whatever the tall one’s name is.
“Can 你 get us out of here now?!” 说 the shorter penguin, struggling at the ropes.
Tuesday, March 5th, 2013 1:53 AM.
I was exalted 由 Skipper for “best job done on their first mission” and was made an honorary team member with the rank of Ensign for my quick thinking.
I felt saddened about the whole thing, for some reason. I don’t know why. It’s not like I was never going to see the penguins again
As a matter of fact, I probably would. My dad and I planned to make trips to New York every weekend, if possible.
I guess I was sad because this was their final mission, one the world would never know about if it wasn’t for me. But I’m sure that even though the show’s going to be cancelled, we can always remember the legacy it left behind. If it wasn’t for the show, I never would have known Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private existed, so I’ll be sad to see it go, but I can still see them as often as I want, whenever I’m in the greatest city in the world: New York. It’s one heck of a town!
The end
“One Heck of a Town”, a P.o.M 粉丝 fiction.
Sunday, March 03, 2013.
New York City is a sprawling mass of gorgeous architecture, noisy streets, and fantastic smells. It’s a city where anything can happen, right down to solving a case with Richard Castle, falling deep below the depths of the Big 苹果 in Suzanne Collin’s Underland, fighting monsters of myths with Percy Jackson, 或者 going on missions with the Penguins of Madagascar.
It’s the greatest city on Earth, with an attitude to match. It’s a rough and tumble, wash-‘n-wear, 袜子 -you -in -the -gut -and -spray -you -with –mace-if-you- DARE- to-mug-me city. Naturally, this means I 爱情 it. It’s practically right in my backyard, but going there is a rare treat for me. I only visit maybe once 或者 twice in a 年 if I’m lucky.
That Sunday was such a day. My dad and I were dropped off at 61st and Woodside plaza at around 9:30 in the morning and took the 7 train to Queensboro Plaza, the train stopped there due to construction, but that was our stop to begin with. Then we took the N train to 5th Avenue and 57th Street; Central Park, the Plaza Hotel, the glass 苹果 building, F.A.O Schwartz and the former location of the C.B.S Early 显示 before it was changed to C.B.S This Morning and moved down to 57th 街, 街道 between 10th and 11th Avenue.
He and I had a big 日 planned. A Gemstone exhibit at F.A.O Schwartz, the Central Park Zoo, then head Downtown to the Old Merchant House; the most haunted building in Manhattan, then to a small 商店 of oddities and curiosities called “Obscura”.
In the Gem exhibit (which was a small satellite of a larger museum exhibit) Gift Shop, I purchased two fine specimens of Pyrite. Dad and I wandered around the big toy store for the 下一个 小时 或者 so, amazed at the remote control helicopters and space-age modern toys they had for sale. 由 that time it was around 10:40 in the morning. Then we stopped to take a look at the lobby of the Plaza Hotel. It was simply gorgeous, with marble and crystal glimmering as far as the eye could see. It had several levels and actually had a few pricy shops to match the overdone, but gorgeous decor. Once we were in Central Park, we walked to the Zoo (in the Southeast corner of the park). I was excited as a kid in a 糖果 store because I was a 粉丝 of “The Penguins of Madagascar”, which was set in the Zoo. I hurt my hand operating the Souvenir Penny Press, though. The coin slot was stuck, and I had to press it really hard, and left a small, but painful scrape on my palm, but was rewarded with a pressed penny stamped with two swimming King Penguins.
Upon entering 你 pass the Dancing 起重机 Café to your right. To your left is the Gift shop. When 你 get to the gate, 你 are greeted 由 a ticket taker. Our first stop was looking at the Japanese Snow Monkeys, which were in a hot spring-like outdoor habitat. 下一个 was the large “Tropical Zone” where we were greeted 由 a blast of humid, muggy air rivaled only be this fabulous city’s record high temperature in August. Flying overhead in the abundant foliage were tropical birds of every shape, size and color, all co-existing while humans snapped pictures of them.
On some levels, they also had some reptiles. Poison Dart frogs were in one tank, but we couldn’t see any. Some fancy type of 鼠, 大鼠 snake was in one tank, sharing it with a large maroon-colored jungle frog. They did that sometimes, put a reptile in with a frog, I mean. There were also bats, mongooses and exotic tamarins (some sort of primate that looked like a mixture of a 狐猴 and a little old man). The 狐猴 habitat was somewhat disappointing. I only managed to take one picture of a sleeping 狐猴 relaxing on a rock. The rest were jumping around at the back of the habitat smashing mangoes.
Once we were outside we went around to see the snow leopards (they must have been camouflaged. We saw nothing), followed 由 a group of Eider Ducks, and then a single, slumbering Polar Bear. Due to my lack of common sense, we took a wrong turn and missed seeing a few exhibits.Then it was off to see the penguins. There were several kinds, about 30 of them in total, sharing a habitat. They actually were doing a “cute and cuddly” routine like in the show, especially four of them. I didn’t pay too much attention to the four that were flipping and only remembered it as we were leaving, but I could have sworn I saw one staring at me. Then we saw the puffins in the 下一个 indoor habitat, across the room from the penguins. The seals were in the very center of the zoo. They, at least, were moving around and flipping for the viewers’ enjoyment.
After that we took a look in the Tisch’s Children’s Zoo. 你 got there 由 going under the archways of the famous Delacorte Clock (towards the back of the Zoo) , which chimes and plays a tune every half and 小时 and every hour. It had your typical goats, and some birds as well. Some assorted farm animals. My dad and I then went to the “Zootique at Central Park”, which was their ridiculously named gift shop.
After the Zoo, my dad and I took the F train Downtown to 29 East 4th 街, 街道 to see the Old Merchant House Museum. We must have JUST missed the train, because it took about a half an 小时 to get on the F train. Passing through Washington Square Park where we saw two teen boys tap dancing and a man playing a baby grand 钢琴 for money, we got to the house and stayed there, seeing the lavish Greek Revival/ Victorian interior, absorbing each and every detail till 3 o’clock. It’s supposedly the most haunted place in Manhattan after being occupied for almost a hundred years, from 1835 to 1933, 由 the Tredwell family. It offered a gorgeous insight to what life was like during the mid-1800s in New York, with its bronze gaslight chandeliers, mahogany furniture, a double parlor with black and 金牌 fireplace mantles and decorative plaster carvings on the walls and ceilings, and the simple, rickety old servant’s quarters. (and yeah, my dad and I heard some unexplained scream coming from the attic). Then we were off to “Obscura” popularized 由 the Science Channel’s 流行的 series, “Oddities”, on Avenue A and 12th Street. It has everything from human skulls, to medical antiques! The place is a paradise for the unusual and strange.
Browsing some 更多 shops afterwards it was close to 5:30 pm, so we decided to head home, but something happened that prevented that from happening, and it was ANYTHING but ordinary.
We planned to take the F train back to the 74th and Roosevelt Avenue Terminal, but because of the construction that stopped the 7 train from going any further than Queensboro Plaza, it would have made several 更多 local stops than we needed. It would have made its entrance into Queens as soon as we got to 23rd 街, 街道 and Court Square, but I didn’t take the train home. The flashes of black and white I kept seeing since we left the Zoo were NOT the product of my crazed-fan imagination.
Then, the impossible happened. Time itself froze. I was looking at the world as if it was a still photograph. Pedestrians that clamored to get on the train to Brooklyn were as still as statues. Litter blown from the winds of upcoming trains hovered in mid-air. That guy dressed like a circus clown crossed with a fairy princess took a halted step, stuck in that position like a fly in amber. My dad was 《冰雪奇缘》 in the middle of finishing a Hershey’s king size 浓情巧克力 bar.
Then I realized, with panic that I was the only one moving. I could see, and hear and 移动 around.
Waddling towards me were the four penguins from the Zoo that no one could identify, each wearing a miniature microphone, like the kind 你 would use for hands-free talking on a cell phone. They were listed on the display as not having a definite species. All it 说 was “Species awaiting classification. Most closely related to Adelie penguins: Pygoscelis adeliae” and a 照片 of one of the penguins from the habitat.
I knew at once I either had the 比萨, 比萨饼 I had for lunch spiked with drugs, 或者 I was seeing four 随意 escapee penguins who just so happened to closely resemble animated cartoon characters copyrighted 由 DreamWorks. I chose the former rather than the latter because 比萨, 比萨饼 spiked with LSD 或者 something seemed a little TOO off-the-wall crazy.
Ok….. so I was seeing penguins in the subway. This is New York City we’re talking about! This stuff must happen daily, right?
Wrong.
Pressing a button on the side of the headset, the 企鹅 who was staring me down earlier spoke into the microphone and 说 in Skipper’s annoyed tone, “It’s about time we caught up with you, soldier! We’ve been all over creation and back looking for the chance to talk with you!”
I did what came naturally; freaked out and pretended to faint, which was kind of dumb considering there was no one to see what I did.
The tallest 企鹅 face-palmed as best he could using flippers and 说 in Kowalski’s voice; “Oy….. 你 can get up now. We’ll explain everything as best we can.”
Private waddled over towards me and 说 in a gentle, concerned tone, “Are 你 all right?”
I shot up as fast as a bullet and sat down on the nearest subway bench.
I got my first detailed look at my flippered companions as they waddles over towards me.
Standing at 18 inches in height, Kowalski was the tallest, with a rich, baritone to 低音 voice. They all resembled their animated counterparts, especially Kowalski, but there was one odd detail I noticed. His eyes were the uniform sapphire blue of the other three penguins, but one of his eyes was tinged brown towards the center of the iris.. Other than that, his face had the same proud, confident look to it as seen so often in the series.
Rico was slightly shorter than Kowalski. He had an awkward sort of lumber in his waddle, like they’d 显示 a fat person walking in a cartoon- not that Rico was fat of course, he had a small double chin and was a bit chubby. His beak had his trademark scar on the left side, going down an inch 或者 so below his beak. Rico’s eyes had a nice enough look in them, but he looked like he was zoning out half the time. On his head, he had a crazy mop of feathers that passed for a mohawk.
Private looked halfway between an adult penguin, and what I guess would be close to a teenager. He was maybe a foot tall, and 梨 shaped. His eyes were a shade of deep lavender and had a warm, kind look in them. He was the kind of 企鹅 you’d want to cuddle for forever! Private had a few downy feathers here and there, 展示 he wasn’t quite a fully-grown adult yet.
I’ll just say it now. Skipper’s head was flat. It was 更多 rounded, like they showed in the “Madagascar” movies, but 你 could tell, even from a distance that it was flat. The illusion of having a perfectly flat head was marred 由 the single, questioning brow he raised as if he was sizing me up. His eyes were deep sapphire blue and his face had a look of authority on it. Out of all the penguins, Skipper looked the most like he was portrayed in the animated cartoon.
Skipper broke the silence. “So, soldier, what brings 你 to our neck of the woods?”
“This is awesome and all that we’re meeting but, before now, we’ve never met. How could 你 possibly know me? I didn’t even know you- let alone talking penguins- existed!” I said, looking down at Skipper.
“Uhh…erm… social media.” 说 Skipper, reluctantly. Kowalski shot me a look that 说 “Don’t ask any more.”
“More importantly, why do 你 want to talk to me?” I asked, crouching to the ground so I was as close to eye level as possible with them.
“We need 你 to help us go on a mission for the sake of our show, and possibly the world!” 说 Skipper, with bravado.
“Since we know 你 as well as we do out of all our 粉丝 we have monitored, 你 seem to be a good choice for our mission.” explained Kowalski.
Though I had my suspicions about just how they knew about me- and I was probably right- I kept my mouth shut.
Apparently, they, along with numerous other penguins live in the same habitat. The TV series was based on an older 设计 of the zoo, before the restoration project a few years back, which was around the last time I was there. This was after the big escapade in Madagascar.
“Well,” 说 Skipper, “It was either a movie about us, 或者 some forest 动物 that wandered into people’s Suburban homes and 偷了 food. We got the better end of the deal.” He concluded with a small smirk
The infamous Manfredi and Johnson once lived in the habitat with the penguins up until recently, when they left for England to be the newest agents in Private’s Uncle Nigel’s spy agency situated in London. Blowhole (after he regained his memory in the real life version of the final P.o.M episode) caught wind of them being out of retirement and kidnapped them for ransom, which was why they needed me. Kowalski was NOT willing to give up all of his inventions.
“So 你 need me to help get them back? What does this have to do with the fate of the world? 或者 the 显示 for that matter?”
“Absolutely nothing. I just 说 that to get your undivided attention.” 说 Skipper.” And as far as the show’s concerned, this might help bring it back for a few 更多 seasons!”
Now all we had to do was head back to the zoo. My father was transported (using a molecular scrambler. Basically, it’s just a fancy teleportation device) back home, where my family would remain 《冰雪奇缘》 in time, while the rest of the world kept going on normally.
The penguins donned their disguise of a floppy hat and overcoat (with the four of them stacked underneath) and we went back on the subway to 5th Avenue and 57th Street.
The zoo was closed, but the penguins managed to find a way in 由 hopping over a fence in the Snow leopard habitat. Just like in the series, the Zootique was used as their meeting hall. There I learned the sleeping polar 熊 was Ted, one of several poison dart frogs ( the blue one in the picture on the tank) was Barry, King Julien and Maurice and Mort were sleeping in the 树 line above where the rest of the lemurs were, hidden from view 由 the foliage. I also completely bypassed several of the main character’s habitats when my dad and I took a wrong turn and ended up 由 the Snow Monkeys again.
The little microphones the penguins wore are multi species language translators. Just like in the Madagascar movies, all humans could hear when 动物 “spoke” were the typical sounds they would expect to hear, like birds squawking, 或者 狗 barking. Using the translator, a whole new world of sound was opened up to me. In the crowded gift shop, a clamoring bunch of animal noises was turned into a clamoring throng of zoo 动物 voicing complaints, wondering who I was, asking why I didn’t stop 由 for a chat while I was there, etc. (that last one was Marlene) All I had to do was keep this on the entire time I was with them. I was even allowed to keep it. (Which I did. Let’s just say for now that my 小狗 is 10 times cuter than before now that I can understand him).
I was introduced to so many birds, penguins, puffins, reptiles, amphibians and monkeys that after a while they all began to look the same to me. When the meeting died down and most of the 动物 went back to their habitats, just the four penguins and myself were left in the shop.
“Can we get to the mission now? I’d like to start this. It’s already 7 pm, and I have school tomorrow!” I said, urgently pacing across the floor, in front of the cash register.
“Anxious much? I don’t blame you, soldier. Not every 日 你 get to go on a mission with us!” beamed Skipper.
“Actually, sir, it may literally be every 日 until Manfredi and Johnson are returned. I haven’t fixed my cloning machine from the last time it broke, so we can’t duplicate him. We’ll start tomorrow at 3pm 或者 so. I’ll even help 你 with your homework if 你 like.” suggested Kowalski
“Thanks for the homework offer, but you’re needed elsewhere. For instance, do we even have a plan?”
“Kowalski, options!” 说 Skipper.
“Blowhole is back at his old base in Coney Island. We take the subway down to Brooklyn, ambush him, and rescue Manfredi and Johnson. Of course, that’s it in a nutshell, the actual plan is highly complicated and involves many steps, which I’ve taken the liberty to write down!” 说 Kowalski, producing a small piece of folded paper, which quickly grew to impossible dimensions about the size of a small area rug.
“Lovely.” I said, mildly sarcastic.
“And of course we still have to head back to our main base. The seals let us use it, so all of our things are there. We only stay at the main viewing area for humans’ enjoyment, and head there at night. I miss the telly, sometimes.” explained Private, with a small sigh at the end.
“We’ll start fresh in the afternoon. I’ll send 你 a 潮流粉丝俱乐部 电子邮箱 if we have any 更多 leads, 或者 changes in the plan. Goodnight, Adam.” concluded Kowalski.
Monday, March 4th, 2013.
After completing my homework, I patiently waited for the penguins to scramble me over to their habitat.
由 the time they got around to it, it was 4:05, according to the time on my phone.
True to their words, the 密封 (or are they sea lions?) habitat was a literal cover for their HQ. I’m happy to say that despite the major changes to the zoo, their HQ looks exactly the way it’s represented in the animated cartoon. ( and I got a copy of the blueprints for the HQ!!! :D )Turning on their Television, Channel 1 News with Chuck Charles was doing the same story on the hit and run with that Brooklyn couple like every other news station. Chuck looked an awful lot like the CBS This Morning News Anchor, Charlie Rose, only fatter, but none of that was important.
What mattered was that I was in the 企鹅 HQ and being so….calm about it. Like it was the most normal thing in the world to find out there are real life versions of your 最喜爱的 cartoon characters. What the 鱼 was wrong with me?!
But I decided I’d go all fan-crazy on them when all this was over. Feeling awkward standing up, I sat down on the floor of the HQ, right 下一个 to their bunks. I just about jumped out of my skin when Rico “accidentally” set off a 火, 消防 饼干 night 下一个 to me.
“Rico!” snapped Skipper, “What did I tell you? No explosives in the HQ!”
“Sorry…” grunted the penguin, looking not sorry at all. He waddled over towards me, plopped himself beside me and started fiddling around with Ms. Perky, his doll girlfriend. (who was just as busty in real life as she was in the show. A fact I think is a bit shocking in a 显示 meant for children). She looked like a glorified 芭比娃娃 with a bad 1950s hairdo, but I didn’t want to upset Rico.
I sighed impatiently, wanting to be included in on the action. After all, I WAS hand….um….flipper-picked to 加入 in on this mission, wasn’t I? But I decided to let things take their course. I didn’t know enough about the mission like they did. Heck, half of my Skipper “Biography” was probably completely wrong! I had debated whether to ask Skipper about it, when his voice jarred me out of my thoughts.
“Soldier! We need 你 over here. Kowalski finally worked out the bugs in the plan and we need your approval.”
Pinch me now, I must be dreaming!
“Ok, what’s the plan, Stan?” I said, trying and failing to conceal my 欢乐合唱团 with humor.“
“If we take the F train all the way to the end of the line, we should reach Coney Island in about an hour.” He said, moving around a few beads on his abacus.
“Are 你 certain? This IS New York City. On a Monday. During rush hour.” I pointed out, skeptically.
“The numbers say it is so!” confirmed the penguin.
I couldn’t argue with that.
“Once we get there, Blowhole’s tank is in the farthest part of the Aquarium. We knock the lobsters out-because there are bound to be sentries 或者 guards- and sneak in through the duct work. Blowhole’s inner sanctum of a vast network of underground caverns. Most likely, he has Freddy and Johnny tied up and gagged-“
“Like all stereotypical kidnappings.” I cut in. “I can already see the end of this: 你 guys fight and free the captives, kick some 海豚 behind, Blowhole has some last 分钟 surprise, 你 only make it worse 由 pressing 随意 buttons, but then it gets better when some unexpected thing happens and the 日 is saved, Blowhole swears he’ll keep on returning until the end of time, blah, blah, blah, end credits.”
“So cynical!” says Skipper. “Not every time we fight Blowhole ends up like our battle with that mutant lobster, Chrome Claw!”
Kowalski continued as if we had never spoken. “And then my latest invention comes into play. 你 as well, Adam. My newest invention is a machine which allows 你 to disguise your voice. It has a vast database of sounds collected from various people and animals. We need 你 to distract Blowhole for as long as possible using this, and of course we’re not going to let 你 go in there unarmed, so we’re providing 你 with….what’s your weapon of choice?”
“If this was a stereotypical action movie, I’d say , stereotypically,’ I don’t need any weapons!’ but I can’t fight at all. I’d like a blow gun. I hit what I aim at.”
Rico hacked up a small, collapsible metal tube with a mouthpiece and some darts. A simple weapon, but very effective.
“You use this only if 你 have to. We’ll need 你 to do whatever 你 can to help us if we’re not able to. Blowhole is a cold, calculating mastermind with surprisingly smooth skin, surround sound speakers, and better technology.” Kowalski grumbled at this last part., “So we need 你 to be alert.”
“If worse comes to worse, we can always let a swarm of crazed 粉丝 girls on him.” I said, jokingly.
“Or that.” 说 Skipper, taking a sip of his 鱼 coffee.
True to his word, our train stopped at Coney Island Aquarium at 5:59 pm. The sky was darkening, and the air was a bit chilly. It seemed colder since we were so close to the ocean.
Also true to Kowalski’s word, we found Blowhole’s evil lair much faster than we expected. Knocking out the two crustaceous guards guarding a sort of man hole cover made of stone situated in the front right corner of the base for the Ring of Fire, we climbed down the slippery, slimy ladder down to Blowhole’s inner sanctum.
There was just one fly in the ointment. I couldn’t fit in the air ducts. They were too small for even a baby.
. The penguins had a few 分钟 worth of a head start on me, so making sure I had my blow gun and vlice changer in my backpack, I prepared myself for what I had to do. Not wanting to disappoint my feathered compadres, I studied the floor plan for Blowhole’s lair and headed straight down a stone and chrome plated corridor. Making a left at a hallway of doors, I entered the last door to the left. This was easy….. a little TOO easy….
I opened the door slightly and got my first look at Manfredi and Johnson. Boy, were they in sorry shape! Both of them had eye patches, the tall one’s right flipper was in a sling, while the short ones left flipper was in a cast. The tall one was the same height as Kowalski, but had Rico’s mohawk and flatter, squarer head. The short one was stocky and robust and had a peg leg made out of an old plunger. He was about Skipper’s height and looked like a combination of Skipper and Rico. No offense to either of them, but even if they didn’t look like they were at death’s door, they wouldn’t be the least bit cute.
Yup…. It was bound to happen. Listening in through the door, which I opened a bit, I could hear talking.
“So, peng-yoo-ins, did 你 honestly think 你 could save your 老友记 this time? Did 你 really believe 你 could stop me?” sneered Blowhole.
Blowhole was the size of an average Atlantic Bottlenose, about 12 feet long, from snot to tail. His skin has an oily sheen to it which must have been from his moisturizer. He would have looked like your typical cute dolphin, but his eyes had a cold, sinister glint to them. His grin was evil, and full of malice. His mechanical eye was even 更多 awesome looking in person, but it only made him look 更多 evil than usual.
Typical villain talk. I can’t stand that! If you’re going to kill some one, then do it! Don’t stand there for 5 years talking about it! But this was Blowhole, after all. He likes to go on a gloating rant rivaled only 由 one of Shakespeare’s monologues. I’ll be my last dollar he’ll explain about his plan next.
‘- honestly? My plan is much too complicated for any of 你 to foil. Manfredi and Johnson were simply bait to lure 你 here.”
“What do 你 want, 鱼 face?” spat Skipper
“For the thousandth time, I am not a fish! I am a mammal! I have a blowhole! I can breathe air!” snapped Dr. Fish-face. “As far as what I want…. 你 know me well enough. What do 你 THINK I want?”
“World domination that involves ANOTHER destined-to-fail plan to flood the Earth.” Put forth Skipper.
“Ooooh…… so close. Not this time. That will be later.”
“Yeah, I got nothin’. “ 说 Skipper after several 分钟 of silence.
“This is what happens when your body is the size of my entire brain. Smaller cranial capacity doesn’t do anybody any good.” chided Blowhole sarcastically.
Kowalski shot Blowhole a glare that would have melted the Arctic.
Ignoring the Death Stare, Blowhole wheeled himself 前锋, 期待 on his Segway and stood in front of his giant computer screen monitor.
“ I intend to send 你 peng-yoo-ins to a place from which there is no return! ….THEN I’ll work on flooding the world!” he laughed manically.
“Denmark?!” gasped Skipper
“No!”
“Outer Space?” suggested Private, meekly
But he couldn’t possibly…….. that would mean…..
I couldn’t just stand there eavesdropping on them while that ugly 海豚 just stood- well, not stood, but 你 get what I mean- there and plotted to kill my newfound friends! How he planned to do this, I don’t know, nor did I want to, but I sprang into action.
In our haste to leave, Kowalski hadn’t fully explained how to operate the voice disguiser, but I still had the blow dart on me. Rico had taken the liberty of giving me 24 of them. 12 of them contained anesthesia (we used 5 of them on the 龙虾 guards) and 12 of them could take somebody’s eye out if 你 were aiming for it.
If I aimed correctly, the dart would hit Blowhole, knocking him unconscious long enough to escape with the penguins.
Aiming my blow gun at Blowhole, I fired an Anesthesia Dart at him, but was off 由 a lot. I couldn’t risk firing at him again because that might get his attention. Uh-oh…..
Phew! That was close! He didn’t even look up.
He was too busy clacking away on the computer to notice me. The poor penguins were tied up to a missile, most likely about to be launched to Outer Space, and here I was worrying about getting caught! What was wrong with me?! I knew I had to rely on my own skill and aim, a great deal of luck, and cartoon physics to get us all out of this mess, but what was I to do?!
Pacing around the hallway anxiously, I mentally slapped myself, told myself to calm down and think this through. What would the penguins do in this situation?
Several 分钟 later (as soon as I un-froze time and got back using the Molecular scrambler)
(^Ugh! I JUST realized I could have used that stretch of time to untie the penguins, but the Poster Child for the cover of “Lack of Common Sense” Magazine didn’t think about that! Two days have passed and I JUST thought of that! Oy…..* facepalm*)
Picking up the tiny 狐猴 in my hands, I said, “ Ok, Mort, this is your big chance. Before, I opened a small door on the side of that computer.” I said, pointing to Blowhole’s giant version of a PC.” I need 你 to go in there and yank out all the pretty colored strings and throw them as far as 你 can, ok?”
“Ok! Are they licorice? Can I eat them?” 说 Mort, beaming like a child on a sugar rush.
“No!” I cried out. “ I-I mean, no. They’re shocking strings. If 你 eat them, 你 could hurt yourself.” I cautioned.
“What will happen?”
“A big ZAP!, and then 你 get hurt. Just go! Pull out the pretty strings!”
Mort scampered off in the direction I pointed him to. For a cute 狐猴 with the mentality level of a 3 年 old, he moved pretty darn fast!
“Prepare to die peng-yoo-ins!” shouted Blowhole “And as for 你 two, Manfredi and Johnson, let this be the 日 你 die for real!” Under his breath, he muttered, “I’m so sick of 粉丝 instant messaging me asking if they’re alive…”
A ridiculously deep voice from his surround-sound speakers 说 “Initiating launch sequence in 5……..4…….3……”
While it was starting, I thought, “Come on, Mort! Pull out the wires!”
“2….. Launch systems failed. No input detected. Server not found. Can not find the server at missilelaunch.com. Powering down”
“WHAT?!” screamed the bottlenose dolphin, “COME ON!!!!! This plan was supposed to be foolproof!”
Suddenly, Mort’s head popped out of the side of the computer base. “Ha-ha! Pretty strings make me go ouch!” he cried with happy glee, munching on some red, blue and green wires.
“Sad eyes?!” cried Skipper in utter disbelief. “How in the name of fried oyster 《皮囊》 did 你 get here?”
“Ooh! I 爱情 fried oyster skins!” giggled Mort, tossing a bunch of gnawed on, broken wires, hitting Blowhole in the face.
“You peng-yoo-ins aren’t responsible for this?” 说 Blowhole, with even 更多 confusion than Skipper.
They gave a collected series of “ Nopes” and “Nuh-uhs”
“Then who is?!” he demanded, furiously looking around his chrome-plated lair, trying to spot any intruders.
That’s when I stepped out of the door frame.
Wielding my blow gun, I said, “I am. And as for you, Dr. Blowhole, time to sleep with the fishes.”
All it took was one puff of air, and an anesthesia- filled dart hit Blowhole’s neck. One loud thump later, the evil mammal was knocked out for several hours, judging 由 the dosage in the dart.
“Nice shot!” congratulated Manfredi…or was it Johnson? Whatever the tall one’s name is.
“Can 你 get us out of here now?!” 说 the shorter penguin, struggling at the ropes.
Tuesday, March 5th, 2013 1:53 AM.
I was exalted 由 Skipper for “best job done on their first mission” and was made an honorary team member with the rank of Ensign for my quick thinking.
I felt saddened about the whole thing, for some reason. I don’t know why. It’s not like I was never going to see the penguins again
As a matter of fact, I probably would. My dad and I planned to make trips to New York every weekend, if possible.
I guess I was sad because this was their final mission, one the world would never know about if it wasn’t for me. But I’m sure that even though the show’s going to be cancelled, we can always remember the legacy it left behind. If it wasn’t for the show, I never would have known Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private existed, so I’ll be sad to see it go, but I can still see them as often as I want, whenever I’m in the greatest city in the world: New York. It’s one heck of a town!
The end
