First of all congrats to Sarah Beara for winning due to her epic nature! Now let's get started!

If 你 were a tree, what kind would 你 be?
Ermm, LOLWTF. I'd say Sunburst Golden Honey Locust, cause seriously, saying that is shitloads of fun. But in honesty, a link as it's one of the "classier" trees xD. And 你 all know I'm the epitome of class.

How would 你 react if 你 are transformed into a duck?
I'd be like! ZOMGQUACK! Then I'd swim for a while & seek refuge on a pirate ship where I would be smart & funny for them if they could turn me back / not eat me. If there are no...

Oh God. I’m so not good at these things..I wish I could make something 更多 artistic and fabulous like a video 或者 an art but S got all the twin-talent and I’m stuck with the beauty. 哈哈
Duggy, I had not idea what to make 你 so I decided to do what I know best ..Make 你 laugh. Enjoy.

Bitch I’m the bomb like tick tick
Janni: Can 你 please calm down? We’ll find the fucking shirt!
G:But NO! It’s my most favouritest shirt!
Janni: It’s not even pretty! *eyeroll*
G:Are 你 kidding? It’s the glitter and the 粉, 粉色 dots and the red buttons and ….
Janni runs out of the room, sick of her friend...

A blonde is suffering from a sore throat so she goes to see the doctor.

She explains the problem to the doctor who asks her to sit down.

He gets out his light and says, "Open wide".

"I can't," 回复 the blonde, "the chair's fitted with arms!"


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Two gorgeous blonde biologists were in the field one fine summer day. While following a game trail, they came across a pair of tracks. "Look! a pair of tracks" The first blonde 说 while pointing to the ground.
"Those are deer tracks," the other blonde replied.
"Oh no,"she said...

The following 列表 of phrases and their definitions might help 你 understand the fuzzy language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone 阅读 a PhD dissertation 或者 academic paper.

"IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"...
I didn't look up the original reference.

"A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"...
These data are practically meaningless.

"WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS
TO THE QUESTIONS"...
An unsuccessful experiment but I still hope to get it published.

"THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY"...
The other results didn't make any sense.

"TYPICAL...

Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips.

Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side.

Your mother's so fat, her clothes have stretch marks.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.

Your mother's so fat, 你 could slap her butt and ride the waves.

Your mother's so fat, she needs a hula hoop to keep her socks up.

Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Your mother's so fat, when they used her...

Some great ways to annoy people at work...

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

3. Insist that your e-mail address be xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com 或者 elvis-the-king@companyname.com.

4. Every time someone asks 你 to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5. Encourage your colleagues to 加入 你 in a little synchronized chair dancing.

6. Put your garbage can on your 台, 办公桌 and label it 'IN.'

7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

8. Put decaf in the coffee...

20 ways to say that someone's "fly is open"....

20. The cucumber has left the salad.

19. I can see the gun of Navarone.

18. Someone tore down the wall, and your 粉, 粉色 Floyd is hanging out.

17. You've got Windows in your laptop.

16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little 支撑, 海岸 leave.

15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now.

14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bell.

13. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

12. 你 need to bring your tray 表 to the upright and locked position.

11. Your pod 湾 door is open, Hal.

10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

9. Mini Me is...