What's a comedy 显示 without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.
Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, 或者 the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, 或者 Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why? Because they want to steal your money, and take away your jobs!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: The fucking princesses don't even do shit! All they do is raise the sun, and the moon. A job that can already be done 由 itself.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: 你 go to the library, find some 图书 about space, and everything else around our planet earth, and you'll see that Princess Celestia has assigned herself a mediocre task.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And she did the same thing to her sister, and a purple stranger.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: It's all mediocre, just like this presidential election. Just for once, I'd like to see what would happen if no one, not a single 小马 voted for any of the candidates!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Our government would collapse just trying to think of a solution to the crisis!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: 你 know what I imagine? I imagine a special room under the 五角大楼 that no one knows about. Well, almost no one since I'm sharing this with you.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And in that secret room 你 have a stage held exclusively for having other ponies fight each other. If none of the candidates received a single vote, they would have to duke it out in....Sudden death!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Whoever kills the other candidates gets to become president! But it doesn't simply end there, no. I imagine 更多 secret rooms with 更多 challenging obstacles that have spikes, dynamite, holes filled with crocodiles, balancing boards that 移动 由 themselves, and dozens of other challenging obstacles that would make even the toughest drill sergeant cry to their mom in horror!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: ALL SURROUNDED 由 FIRE!!!!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: And only then, 你 will become president of the United States of Equestria. But after going through all that crap, I don't think 你 would want to be president anymore.
Crowd: *Clapping*
2 B Continued
Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, 或者 the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, 或者 Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why? Because they want to steal your money, and take away your jobs!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: The fucking princesses don't even do shit! All they do is raise the sun, and the moon. A job that can already be done 由 itself.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: 你 go to the library, find some 图书 about space, and everything else around our planet earth, and you'll see that Princess Celestia has assigned herself a mediocre task.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And she did the same thing to her sister, and a purple stranger.
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: It's all mediocre, just like this presidential election. Just for once, I'd like to see what would happen if no one, not a single 小马 voted for any of the candidates!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Our government would collapse just trying to think of a solution to the crisis!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: 你 know what I imagine? I imagine a special room under the 五角大楼 that no one knows about. Well, almost no one since I'm sharing this with you.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And in that secret room 你 have a stage held exclusively for having other ponies fight each other. If none of the candidates received a single vote, they would have to duke it out in....Sudden death!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Whoever kills the other candidates gets to become president! But it doesn't simply end there, no. I imagine 更多 secret rooms with 更多 challenging obstacles that have spikes, dynamite, holes filled with crocodiles, balancing boards that 移动 由 themselves, and dozens of other challenging obstacles that would make even the toughest drill sergeant cry to their mom in horror!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: ALL SURROUNDED 由 FIRE!!!!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: And only then, 你 will become president of the United States of Equestria. But after going through all that crap, I don't think 你 would want to be president anymore.
Crowd: *Clapping*
2 B Continued