Oooooh God, I didn’t think I’d have to dig back into this goddamn thing again. Now, this is actually a school project that I was a part of, and this project is known as Dora the Explorer and the Living Dead… I am not even joking.
Now, like I Said, this was a class project that was supposed to be made in my Digital Arts Class. We were told to work as a class to create a short film, teaching us how to make films and how to 编辑 them into an appropriate film. While this did help with editing projects, there was not a single bit of editing in the world that could fix this project. Now, 你 may be thinking to yourself, “Why are 你 reviewing your Digital Arts project that 你 made in 8th grade”? Well, to answer the question, this thing is written like a fanfiction. And a REALLY bad one at that. Trust me, this is going to get fucking stupid.
So, it starts with Dora walking through the forest. She does not look anything like Dora, and isn’t even dressed like her. She isn’t even carrying a backpack. Also, she is walking with Map. Boots is nowhere to be seen. It is just Map. Also, Map is just an 8th grader with a piece of yellow construction paper wrapped around him. I mean, 耶稣 Christ. 你 think that, I don’t know, SOME effort would have went into the costumes. So, while Dora and Map are walking through the forest, they see a sign that says The Hood…. The Hood…. The FUCKING Hood… So, yeah, the world that Dora lives in happens to be right 下一个 to a neighborhood that is the 首页 to a race of people. So, once Dora and Map walk into the Hood, a zombie begins to follow her. How the hell did they not notice this zombie. If that wasn’t bad enough, he has blood on his face that makes it look like ketchup. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was.
So, once they get into The Hood, guess who they happen to meet? I am not kidding, but they meet some guy called T Dog… Why? Also, he tries to give an African American accent, even though he is as white as fucking Christmas. I don’t know if this should be considered incredibly stupid 或者 highly offensive. After that, 50 Cent comes out of the dumpster, for some reason, then gets attacked 由 zombies, and instantly dies. First off, 50 Cent in African American, and this guy is also white. HE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE 50 CENT! Secondly, why was he even in the story? All he did was speak in some outdated slang, then died. He could have easily been taken out of the story (If 你 really want to call this a story), and nothing would have changed. After that, 更多 zombies come, and R Dog tells Dora to run off, while he fights them off… With a goddamn stick. I am not even kidding when I say he fights them with a freaking stick. That is just so goddamn stupid, that it offends me.
So, after Dora escapes, and Map just instantly comes back to existence, Dora then asks Map to give her the map… even though Map is the fucking map. And, while Dora looks at the map, 你 can actually see, and I’m not even kidding, one of the behind the scene’s workers in the fucking background. I am not fucking kidding. They actually filmed this, saw him just standing in the background, and thought, “Yeah, I think this is a good shot. Lets keep it”. Dear fucking god. So, after another fucking disaster, Tupac comes in. Guess what, HE’S FUCKING WHITE, EVEN THOUGH HE IS REALLY AFRICAN AMERICAN! HOW CAN 你 MAKE MISTAKES LIKE THIS! So, after he comes by, zombies come back and attack them all again. I’d also like to point out that, even though this is called Dora the Explorer and the Living Dead, there is VERY little to do with the living dead. This is 更多 about rappers who fight zombies with fucking sticks. 你 couldn’t just use a goddamn gun. I mean, that wouldn’t solve the stupidity of this project, but at least it would make a little 更多 sense.
So, the zombies attack and kill Dora and Map, while Tupac climbs up a football goal FOR NO FUCKING REASON, and then just dies, FOR NO FUCKING REASON! And after that, we cut to the credits where Gangnam Style plays… oh yeah, this was back when that song was real popular.
And, 耶稣 Christ, how the fuck did this thing get made. All I really did in this disaster was operate the camera. 你 honestly think I wanted to be a part of this shit? Trust me, in 8th grade, I was against it, and, two years later, I’m still fucking against it. I mean, sweet mother of god, EVERYTHING about this is terrible. The 表演 is so goddamn atrocious, the story is one of the dumbest I have ever seen, and it looks as though they didn’t even fucking try with the costumes and scenery. And, no, this isn’t terrible because kids were too young to write good stories back then. Our English teacher at the time gave us a book and told us to have a story written 由 the end of the year. And I have seen people get As and Bs for it. This here is just a fucking disgrace and shows just how fucking terrible our world has gotten. All I can say is, thank god this wasn’t uploaded onto the internet, because the LAST thing I want is for people to watch this shit. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take