posted by windwakerguy430
If there is one genre of fanfiction I can’t stand, its the grimdark genre. People always try to make their stories too scary, only to make them suck hard, and other stories add a whole bunch of horrible things like rape and child murder, and only have it there for shock value. I just despise the grimdark genre… so, lets read a grimdark fanfic. It’s called 苹果 Peeler.
So it starts with 苹果白兰地 having a fever so bad, it burns her face. She says its 干草 fever… what, that’s a thing now, and everyone tries to help her 由 giving her soup… which the 作者 gladly goes into detail of how she vomits it up 秒 later. This is one thing I hate about grimdark stories. They always give little detail to whatever is going on, yet whenever something gross and disturbing, like torture, using the bathroom, 或者 vomiting is present, the 作者 goes into full lengths to explain it. Why do authors suddenly start giving a shit about explaining something 由 that point in the story?
So, 苹果白兰地 says she needs to go, and she runs off into the town. While there, we cut to Twilight saying how she hopes the 下一个 slumber party she has is better than the last one, and she has a flashback to Look Before 你 Sleep… Let’s try not to remember THAT episode… EVER again. So, Twilight looks for a book she could read at a slumber party and finds a book that is about a psychotic murderer that tortured people for fun… WHAT KIND OF FUCKING 图书 DOES SHE READ IN HER SPARE TIME!? Then Twilight starts worrying, because 苹果白兰地 is missing- Wait, what… uh, since when did 苹果白兰地 go missing.. and since when did the story say it was days later. I am not trying to fix a plot hole in my review, there is literally NO mentioning that 苹果白兰地 was missing and that days had passed. She 说 she needed to go into town, the story LITERALLY 说 she went to town, and now she’s missing… And do 你 honestly think this is going to be the only plot hole in this story.
So, Pinkie Pie, 彩虹 Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy walk in and tell Twilight it has been two months since 苹果白兰地 disappear- TWO MONTHS!? Two months have passed and the 作者 never fucking bothered to tell any- ... No, I got to ignore it. Because if I kept talking about it, we’d be here all 日 on this one subject. So, they all ask Twilight to come with them so they can give their apologise to the 苹果 Family, and Twilight agrees- Wait, so, everyone was looking for Applejack, while Twilight was just trying to find a book for her slumber party…. Wow. Twilight is kind of a bitch.
So, as they walk to Sweet 苹果 Acres they begin to see 更多 and 更多 missing signs, this time of other ponies who are not Applejack, and…. we are just going to ignore that detail… Yeah, okay, fuck 你 story. So, they get to the house, and wait for someone to open it. Applebloom opens it and Twilight asks if they can come in. Applebloom looks behind her suspiciously, and says sure. GEE, NOTHING CAN GO HORRIBLY WRONG HERE! THIS IS PERFECTLY SAFE!
So, Applebloom led them all into the living room, and Granny Smith greeted them there. So, they give their apologize, and Granny Smith 说 they're getting by. That’s what 你 say when a relative dies, not when they go missing for months. 你 can’t just get on with life when someone close to 你 goes missing.
So as this event goes on, the mane.. uhm, 5 I guess, keep noticing that Granny Smith and Applebloom are always looking behind their backs and being all suspicious. But, Applebloom then apologizes, and all of the Mane… uhm, 5, gets knocked out. I FUCKING KNEW IT WASN’T SAFE!
Now, I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say they get tied up, and then they get tortured to death… am I right. Let me just read this quote. “She tried to move, but she was choked 由 a metal collar. She was chained to the wall. She turned to her right and saw Rarity and Fluttershy chained to the wall. She turned to her left and there was Pinkie Pie and 彩虹 Dash”. AH, CONGRATULATIONS, FANFIC! You’ve won the Unoriginal Reward, as well as the infamous Head Shake of Shame. Because that is all 你 deserve for that scene, fanfic. So, then Derpy starts talking, but it is soon revealed that it was Applejack, who turned Derpy into a mask. Oh, god, are we going down this road?
So, 苹果白兰地 told them that she cut her face off. She tells them she did this due to an accident. She takes off the mask and reveals that her face is all deformed. How did this happen… No fucking clue. Was it the sickness she had.. They don’t say, so I don’t fucking know. This just comes out of fucking no where and we are 给 shit like this. So, once she reveals her face, she says how she needs new faces. Okay, now…. take a fucking guess. What do 你 think 苹果白兰地 is going to do. She has her 老友记 chained to a wall, and she says she needs new faces. If 你 说 she was going to kill them, then, sadly and unoriginally, yes, she is. So,she kills Fluttershy, and… actually offers to let Rarity live if she agree to sue the faces together. To which, Rarity agrees… even though she 说 5 秒 later she wouldn’t and is sent to a different room. So, while she is in the other room, 彩虹 Dash tells Twilight to, and I quote “Use her fucking magic”. Ah, there we go. Another shitty cliche in the grimdark genre. Having your characters from kids shows swear like a sailor. I swear, I can make a drinking game of this fanfic.
So, Twilight uses her magic and… Wait, WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T SHE JUST DO THAT BEFORE! No, mean seriously, she could have gotten out of there sooner, and even save Fluttershy, but NOPE, she just laid there like a fucking rock and let everything happen. Smartest 小马 in Equestria my fucking ass. So, they free themselves, and 彩虹 Dash says that they should leave, but Twilight says they have to save Rarity. So, they peek in to see 苹果白兰地 peeling off Fluttershy’s face, and then handing it to Rarity, where she is telling Rarity to stitch it together. And the story says that this is monstrous. As if we really needed to be told. Thanks Captain Obvious. Your such a great amount of fucking help. So, 彩虹 Dash 说 they should find Rarity… Even though they were just looking at her 秒 ago, and they get a 移动 on. So, as they walked, Pinkie stepped on a stick, which echoed… What the fuck was a stick doing inside a building. Its as if that stick was placed there just for this purpose alone. But, that would be fucking stupid….. What, it was put there just for that purpose…. well, then, there 你 go everyone. It’s fucking stupid. So, 苹果白兰地 says how she wants them to be free, so she can have a challenge… Oh, great, now were moving into the cliches of horror films.
So, as the girls hide, 彩虹 Dash freaks out and tries to escape. So, 你 remember how fast 彩虹 Dash was in the show. Well, fuck that, because apparently, a 刀 is faster, because 苹果白兰地 can just throw a 刀 at her and cut one of her wings off. That is so stupid, it actually hurts. It just felt 更多 forced than 粉丝 shipping. So, Twilight fired a beam of magic at Applejack- Again, why the fuck aren’t 你 using your magic. It’s as powerful as the fucking 苹果 of Eden and 你 just stand there thinking “Eh, things will work out in the end”. So, anyway, she knocks 苹果白兰地 unconscious, and Pinkie is trying to tend to 彩虹 Dash’s wing, and she says “There’s so much blood”. No shit, Pinkie. Stuff bleeds a lot when 你 cut them off. Twilight says she could help her, but now was not the place 或者 time. Yeah, your killer in knocked out, and your friend could possibly die, and it isn’t the time to do it… Twilight, go die. So, they get Rarity and Twilight brakes a hole in the 墙 using her magic. OH, NOW 你 USE YOUR FUCKING MAGIC! But, blowing up the 墙 was pointless, because they all just teleport. So, why didn’t the do THAT! They could have teleported out of there, and BAM, no shitty fanfic. But 苹果白兰地 gets back up as they walk off and says how she refuses to lose… Only to cut straight to Twilight’s house. This story is as mixed up as trail mix. So, Twilight sends a letter to Celestia, that says that 苹果白兰地 has gone crazy and has killed two ponies, and that they need military assistance… Um, I don’t think the military is necessary for one fucking person that only killed two people. HOW ARE 你 THE SMARTEST 小马 IN EQUESTRIA! TELL ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
So, the military goes to Sweet 苹果 Acres and arrests the 苹果 Family. However, they only find the faceless bodies of Derpy and Fluttershy, and 苹果白兰地 is nowhere to be seen. Wow, even the military is fucking useless. So, 苹果白兰地 disguises herself as… some 随意 小马 that no one cares about, and 说 that she was going to kill Celestia next. Yeah, try vowing to kill a country’s leader. I’m sure it is REAL fucking easy. And that is where 苹果 Peeler ends, 或者 as I like to call it Grimdark Fanfic Cliches 101.
This fanfic is nothing 更多 than one giant ball of cliches. It has every last cliche in the fucking book, and then some. And the characters are either idiots 或者 douchebags, and the story makes as much sense as an LSD trip. This fanfic should not exist, and I warn you, don’t read it. It won’t scare 你 too much, 或者 traumatize you. It will just bore the fuck out of 你 with its cliches. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take