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posted by Seanthehedgehog
It was a wonderful 日 in Canterlot, until some ponies started panicking.

Con: What's going on?
P: Discord is back, and he's murdering 更多 ponies!
Con: I'll stop him!
Discord: Keep it up! Everypony in this town must die!
Korean ponies: Affirmative! *kill each other*
Discord: Don't kill each other! Only kill the ones that live here.
Con: *shoots Discord*
Discord: 你 really think that pistol of yours will work?
Con: I shot 你 in the arm! Why aren't 你 bleeding?
Discord: Because, I'm invincible!
Con: *takes away invincibility* Not anymore.
Discord: That's it, you're screwed! Everypony, drop the nuke!
koreans: *drop nuke*
Con: Oh, fu- *wakes up* Oh thank goodness. It was only a dream.

Con's cell phone then started to ring

Con: Mane here
P: Con? Discord is back.
Con: And too bad I just woke up. *hangs up*

Fillies, and gentlecolts! I present to 你 the 6th Con Mane adventure, On Celestia's Secret Service

Starring

Doughnut Joe.................................Con Mane
Rarity..............................................Rareesa
Discord................... .....Ernst Staverald Discord
Pinkie Pie.............................................P
Spike....................................................S
Fenix Lighter....................................Himself
German ponies................................Good guys
Swedish & Korean ponies................Bad guys

Cars provided 由

Chevronet
Coltillac
Dodge
Fillys
Flam
Flim
Laune

Con reported at P's office.

Con: I got your call, what's Discord up to now?
P: He is now trying to kill agents from various organizations.
Con: He must have a 列表 with him.
P: He does. His first three targets are you, Fenix Lighter, and Rareesa.
Con: Really? Couldn't he kill some other pony?
P: He will, after he kills 你 three.
Con: *sighs* I'm on it. Should I see S before I leave?

The answer was yes.

S: Hello 0007.
Con: Hi S, what do 你 have for me?
S: Glad 你 asked, because it will blow you, and your enemies away.
Con: A 导弹 shooting car?
S: Precisely, Chevronet Corvette with machine guns, and missiles behind the headlights.
Con: Both are behind the headlights?
S: Yes, and they pop up to, so you'll give your enemies a surprise.
Con: What about my gun?
S: A Nambu pistol, with a choice of automatic firing, 或者 semi automatic.
Con: Nice.
S: And one 更多 thing. Remember that pen I used to tranquilize somepony?
Con: How could I forget that?
S: I'm giving that to you. Not only is there a tranquilizer setting, but a confusion, as well as poison.
Con: Who knew words could kill?
S: I did. You'll be heading to Rareesa's 首页 in Trottingham England, and make sure Discord does not kill her. Fenix, and some other M.I.3 agents will be there to help.
Con: Affirmative.

Con arrived at Rareesa's home.

Rareesa: Con, so glad 你 made it.
Con: Of course, I gotta make sure the sexiest mare in all of Equestria doesn't get killed.
Fenix: Along with me.
Con: Correction. I must make sure the sexiest mare ever, and my best friend don't die.
Fenix: Ja.
Rareesa: How long have 你 two known each other?
Con: Since we were colts.
Fenix: Right, and now we gotta go stop Discord.

The three ponies went for a walk toward a 滑雪 resort. Rareesa lives in a really cool part of town, literally.

Fenix: I have some soldiers stationed 由 here. They'll be able to get us from here to Discord's base.
Con: Alright, in the mean time the three of us can go skiing.
Koreans: *arrive on snowmobiles*
Fenix: 或者 not.
Con: Go get those soldiers, we'll cover you!
korean pony62: Hello 你 two.
Rareesa: Hi.
korean pony62: Don't think about running, because we are getting help from sweden.
Con: 你 need all the help 你 can get to stop us. *shoots korean pony* Take his snowmobile!
Rareesa: *leaves on snowmobile*
korean pony85: Alright 你 two, as we planned.
Con: *skis down hill*
sweden pony24: *follows Con*
Con: *switches to automatic firing*
sweden pony52: HA! He has a small pistol!
Con: *kills sweden ponies*
korean pony85: *passes & shoots at Con*
Rareesa: Oh brilliant!
korean pony85: *shoots Rareesa*
Rareesa: *teleports behind pony*
korean pony85: What?!
Rareesa: *breaks the pony's neck*
Con: Rareesa! 你 ok?
Rareesa: I'm alright darling. Where are the germans?
Fenix: In helicopters!
Con: Excellent.
Fenix: Hop in, and we'll get to Discord's base.
Con & Rareesa: *Get in helicopter*
German pony35: *flies helicopter*
Con: How many ponies are here?
Fenix: 12, and they're all willing to fight alongside you.
Con: Excellent. Where is Discord's base?
german pony35: Right in front of us.
korean pony86: Intruders!
swedish pony48: It's the germans!
Fenix: Con, get on ze machine gun.
Con: *gets on MG, & shoots enemies*
swedish pony66: We need a rocket launcher!
swedish pony23: Here! *gets bazooka*
Con: *destroys bazooka*
german pony35: We have to land.
Fenix: Then do it.

All three choppers landed on the base, and all 15 ponies stormed out.

Fenix: Con, through this way!
Con: I'm right behind you.
swedish ponies: *fire at germans*
germans: *fire at swedish*
Con: *shoots enemy* Whoops! Forgot it was on automatic. *reloads*
Rareesa: I'll cover you. *shoots two enemies*
korean ponies: 你 swedish scum can't do anything right! *shoots germans*
german pony47: We have 4 down!
Con: *heals them* Thank god for being a unicorn.

The fighting went on for two 更多 minutes, until Con, & Rareesa decided to continue on, while the germans would wait 由 the helicopters.

Con: *searches for Discord*
Rareesa: I can't find him anywhere.
Discord: *hits Rareesa*
Con: Whoa! You're not supposed to hit mares!
Discord: I don't care, I'm not a pony.
Rareesa: *hits Discord*
Discord: I have two intruders, and need back up.
swedish ponies: *run toward Discord*
Con: Rareesa, get out of here with the others. I'll handle this. *fights Discord*
swesish ponies: Hold your fire!
Con: *teleports himself & Discord on cable car*
Discord: *pushes Con*
Con: *holds onto ledge*
Discord: *grabs gun*
Con: *jams it with magic*
Discord: 你 goddamn unicorn. *hits horn*
Con: *climbs back up*
Discord: Stay down there! *hits Con*
Con: *grabs pistol*
Discord: *unjams gun*
Con: *shoots Discord*
Discord: *falls off cable car*

Now Con just had to escape Discord's army.

Con was stuck on the cable car, as it was heading toward some ponies that wanted him dead.

Fenix: Con! On here!
korean pony77: *shoots at helicopters*
Con: Get outta here, I have something else in mind *jumps off cable car*
Rareesa: Con!!
Con: *teleports at Rareesa's house* oh jeez.

Koreans, and swedish ponies were at Rareesa's house. They had no idea Con was there, so he got in his car, and left just when he got a phone call

Con: Hello?
P: Where are you?
Con: Making sure S's equipment doesn't get stolen. Discord is dead, but I gotta go find Rareesa.
Rareesa: *appears in Con's car* Drive as fast as 你 can!
Con: I gotta go *floors it*
korean ponies: *follow in other cars*
Con: What did 你 do?
Rareesa: The helicopters were getting shot down, and I left.
Con: 你 just abandoned the germans?!
Rareesa: I made them invincible for 5 minutes.
Con: Oh thank Celestia. We need to escape these ponies now!
koreans: *shoot at Con*
Con: I wanna try something *drops grenades*
koreans: *blow up*
Rareesa: So much for them.
swedish leader: But 你 forgot about us.
Con: *teleports into Ponyville raceway*
swedish pony56: *steals racecar*
Con: *shoots other race cars* That should block his path, and make him go into that lake.
swedish pony56: *hits other cars* No! I'm in the lake
swedish leader: great! *shoots at Con*
Con: *turns left*
Rareesa: What are 你 doing?
Con: Blowing him away *shoots missile*
swedish leader: AAaAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! *dies*
Con: *teleports off race track*
Rareesa: That was cool.
Con: thanks *repairs car*
Fenix: Rareesa! thank 你 for making us invincible.
Rareesa: It was the least I could do, since 你 were about to die.
Con: *laughs* 你 know Rareesa, I've been thinking..
Rareesa: What?
Con: I know we've only known each other for less then two weeks, but..
Rareesa: But what?
Con: I 爱情 you. I know I'll never find another mare like you. Will 你 marry me?
Rareesa: *kisses Con* 你 mean it?
Con: Yes.

So it was settled, Con & Rareesa got married the 下一个 day, and the two were cruising down a road in Con's Corvette.

Con: I got a week's leave, so I'll hang with 你 until I have to go.
Rareesa: I'm planning on joining the C.I.E.
Con: 你 are? What about M.I.6?
Rareesa: Forget them, you're not in it.
Con: *stops car*
Rareesa: *grabs flower* 爱情 me
Con: I already do
Rareesa: Infuriate me.
Con: I would never!
Rareesa: In..
Con: In.. In a great honeymoon.
Rareesa: *laughs*

While the married coupled were kissing, Con was in for a surprise.

Korean mare: *driving by* Is that?
Discord: *shoots at Con*
Con: It's Discord! *gets into car* Discord.

Rareesa was killed, and Con tried to bring her back to life, but his horn was broken. Discord shot it. And 0007 swore to get revenge on the asshole that just killed his wife.

The End

Con Mane will return in Diamond Tiara's Are Forever
added by karinabrony
added by LavenderLily
Source: To their rightful owners
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners... NOT ME
posted by Canada24
Two weeks after we last left off.

Today was the day, Ditto was suppose to come.

"I still can't believe we have to do this" Dash groaned, her nose still bandaged and she hovered over them.

"Hey, it's not our call, it's Celestia's" Twilight told the young Pegasus.

"Fine" Dash groaned.

"Lets just hope he dosen't try anything" She added.

Everyone agreed.

Eventually Celestia flew down in her carriage, carrying Ditto in it as well.

"Ahh, there 你 are" Twilight said.

Celestia noded and got out of the carriage, and took Ditto out of it also, who looked not at all pleased about being here.

Twilight and the others...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con, and Ms. Bonjour were on 最佳, 返回页首 of the train while Fenix was in his car calling the police.

Fenix: That's right. They're on 最佳, 返回页首 of a train, and one of them is an agent of the C.I.E. Please, you've got to help him.
Police: Ok, we'll send some units to try, and stop whoever is killing your friend.

On the train.

Ms. Bonjour: *kicks Con*
Con: *Nearly falls off*
Ms. Bonjour: Au Revoir Mr. Mane.
Con: *Climbs back on*
Ms. Bonjour: Grrr. *Hits Con*
Con: *Punches Ms. Bonjour*
Ms. Bonjour: *lays on roof*
Con: *Kicks Ms. Bonjour*
Ms. Bonjour: Signal!
Con: *gets hit 由 signal*
Ms. Bonjour: Hahahaha!
Con: *Falls...
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Welcome back, everypony. The last we saw our heroes, they were receiving recognition from the four princesses of Equestria. We then turned to deep within the Everfree Forest, where King Sombra lay dormant. Red Rose, who aided in the killing of King Cobra, brought the news to her fallen fiancee. 皇后乐队 Chrysalis has allied with King Sombra, and we 加入 them making their way through the forest.

King Sombra: How many do 你 have in your army, Chrysalis?

Queen Chrysalis: (cackling) Thousands, not including the ones currently hidden within Canterlot and the Chrystal Empire.

King Sombra: Excellent! How...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Dan : but... but... but... JADE!
Jade : hell yea...
Shadow : wait a second... but... 你 was in Africa
Jade : I heard that guys kicking your 屁股 soo...
Shadow : oh well...
Dan : but... how... where... WHAAAT!
Jade : no time to lose lets GO!
Yes its her, best double agent in the world, If she wants to kick our corp. asses... she gonna DO IT... but she with us now...
Dan : 你 right!
Everypony start running to the small hallway and they jump into truck
Jade : GO GO GO!
Driver : *move truck*
The truck goes to the city then to the black alley
Dan : Jade... where w-
Jade : *put gun to Dan Head* shut up! now...
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My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
What is friendship all about?
My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
Friendship is magic!
My Little Pony,
I used to wonder what friendship could be,
My Little Pony,
until 你 all shared it's magic with me!
When I was young I was too busy to make any friends, some silliness did not seem worth the effort it expands,
but my little ponies. 你 opened up my eyes,
and now the truth's crystal clear, as splendid as summer skies,
and it's such a wonderful surprise,
My Little Pony,
I used to wonder what friendship could be,
My Little Pony,
until 你 all shared it's magic with me!
When danger...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Sunset Shimmer's car, stolen 由 Braeburn
Sunset Shimmer's car, stolen by Braeburn
Braeburn was out of the tournament, and was very angry.

Sergi: *parks car*
Braeburn: *walks toward Sergi's car*
Apyr: We got company
Braeburn: *carrying baseball bat*
Sergi: Well, we're outta here *floors it*
Braeburn: Oh no 你 don't!! *runs to car* Give me your car!!
Sunset Shimmer: No, get lost!
Braeburn: *hits Sunset Shimmer with bat*
Sunset Shimmer: *Knocked Out*
Braeburn: *steals car*

Sergi was driving toward the highway out of Canterlot

Braeburn: *gets behind Sergi*
Apyr: Are 你 kidding me?
Sergi: What's the matter?
Apyr: Braeburn is following us!
Braeburn: GET BACK HERE!!
Police: *sees car chase*...
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posted by NeonInfernoLord
Funny how a town filled with so much joy could befall to such a deadly game…

It was total darkness in…wherever she was. Her eyes adjusted somewhat to it but as far as she knew she was in a hole. She tried to 移动 but she realized her entire lower body was encased inside of something. It was so snug until the point that she couldn't even feel her lower body.

"H-hello!? Rarity!? Scootaloo!?" Sweetie Belle screamed out but couldn't make anything out in the vacant abyss. She let out little whimpers as another voice rang from her side.

"S-sweetie Belle, I'm right here!" The voice of Scootaloo rang...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
A lot of people think Moonraker is the worst Bond film, but what about Nightmare Moonraker?

We begin in western europe, as an airplane with ponies that are learning to skydive is flying 30,000 feet above the air

Russian pony: I have never done this before. Have you?
Con: No.
Russian pony: Oh 你 from United States of Equestria?
Con: Yeah. So is this 小马
Luna: Hi.
Russian pony: Hello *casts a spell*
Con: What are 你 doing?
Russian pony: *turns luna evil*
Nightmare moon: *grabs parachutes*
Con: What did 你 do?
Russian pony: I turned Luna evil!
Con: 你 sick asshole *hits russian*
Russian pony:...
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Hello. I have been hearing from a lot of bronies that Princess Celestia is a troll. There are a lot of reasons to mark that, so I will 显示 你 them.

Reason one: In The Ticket Master, she gave Twilight Sparkle only two tickets when she already knew that she has 5 friends. Twilight Sparkle was stressing out for nothing in the end.

Reason two: When Twilight Sparkle was talking to Princess Celestia about when she banished Luna to the moon, Celestia tried to change the subject, saying, ''Go make some friends!''. This redirected her attention.

Reason three: In the episode Bird In A Hoof, Mrs. Cake...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
They reached the house, but it seemed vacant.

Harry: Let's check in the alley. *goes in*
Peter: *follows*
Harry: *looks in house*
Peter: 你 see anyone?
Harry: Yeah *looks at mare* And she's naked.
hobos: *hit Harry* What do 你 think you're doing perv? We oughta call the cops on you!
Harry: I am the cops
hobos: *beat up Harry*
Peter: That's enough! San Franciscolt Police Department!
hobos: *stand near wall*
Harry: Let them go. We gotta check somewhere else.
operator: Inspector 71, 你 there?
Harry: Yeah. What's up?
operator: We've got a 报道 of a 小马 trying to commit suicide on the TransEquestria...
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*This story shall be divided into two parts, both of them bearing a similar aspect to the 秒 story of 灰姑娘 II: Dreams Come True. I hope that 你 will all enjoy this. I apologize for it being too long.*

It was a great sunny 日 in Ponyville. Everyone was doing their usual business, whether it be doing work, talking to others, 或者 just relaxing their 日 away. As we get to the schoolhouse, we see the little colts and fillies come running out of the door. But why? Because school was out for the summer! Everyone there was very happy to leave so they could hang out with each other 更多 often....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
In case 你 are wondering, ani is korean for no.

Three old blind stallions were walking alongside a 街, 街道 to a club. They were all walking with canes making sure they weren't going to hit anything. They kept walking until they saw a 小马 get in a red sports car. Yes, the stallions were old, but they weren't blind. As the 小马 was getting in his sports car the stallions shot him. Then they got in a old hearse, and drove away. "One agent down two to go." the driver said. "Who are we killing next?" the 橙子, 橙色 stallion asked. "Our 下一个 target is a yellow Alicorn that lives right here." The driver...
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Stormy: That's enough Discord!!
Discord: nothing is enough for me!
Score: (picks up Nikki and takes her behind some bushes) I'm so sorry Nikki, *sniff* hang on there! (Goes back to fight)
Stormy: Your never gonna get away with this!
Discord: I already got away with this! BWAHAHAHAHA!!
Score: Well? What are 你 waiting for? Stab me if 你 can.
Discord: Very Well, (picks up Score) ready?
Score: Rea-
Stormy: WAIT!!!!
Score: Stormy?! What are 你 doing?!?
Stormy: Listen Discord, 你 are-
Discord: So powerful? So Handsome? So evil?
Stormy: uhhh..no
Discord: Then what am I?
Score: Don't listen to her! Stab me!...
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posted by savana89
"rain bow dash!!!"
"hu pinky? what is it?"
"your sister is back"
"WHAT BUT HOW!!!!"
"i dont know shes coming-(passes out on grond)
"hello dashy my little sister WHO PUT A CURS ON ME AND BAND ME WITH YOUR 老友记 but i forgive 你 now"
"uh.....i missed you?"
"aw i missed 你 to do 你 need any help dashy"
"ya can 你 um(looks aroud) can 你 clear all the clouds for me?"
"oh yes dashy(flys away)"
"i need to tell that egg head"
LATER
"SPIKE,take a leter"
"ok"
"D-"
"ill do it"
"ok"
"dear princesses, my sister is back 你 must come save us befor it happens from rain bow"
"hmm that was sort"
"whatever"
"oh dear sister whats going on ARE 你 SENDING A LETTER TO THE PRINESSES!!!"
"no no not at all(spikes sends the leter) its a letter to my... docter"
"ok dashy ill be back!"
Back with the story......

Pixel: So what u- Ow!
Score: What happen?
Pixel: A stupid TW scratched me...
Score: *gasp* Are 你 okay?
Pixel: Yea....but it's bleeding..
Score: Don't worry, I know somepony who can help
Pixel: Really? Who?
Score: AZURA!!!
Azura: yes?
Score: Do 你 have any bandages?
Azura: yes, I do. Do 你 need some?
Score: Yep

After Azura put some bandages on Pixel, Score explained everything that was happening, and asked him if he wanted to join, he 说 he was. Later, Score introduced her 老友记 to Pixel.

Brawny: Welcome to the herd brother
Pixel: *laughs*
Stormy: okay, now what?
Cotton Swirls:...
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Greetings, fellow Bronies, it's me again, 写作 another piece of my thoughts. Today, it's going to be about the stuff made 由 Hasbro.

That's right! I'm going to tell about the toys! Now, don't get me wrong, I understand why they made them. This 显示 was targetted to little children, so it was obvious that there were going to be toys based of that. But, that's what it means for me.

I'm not going to condem you, Bronies who have toys of the Mane Six and others, but I'm going to talk about my opinion about it.

For me, it's a little akward to see grown men playing with 5 Centimeter long bright colored...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor