Hey guys, so this is a poem that I wrote in the car during an 8-hour drive. I guess I was in Huddy withdrawal/anticipation from the new promo pics...anyways I just felt a sudden need to write! And this is my first contribution to the Huddy fandom, so I apologize if it sucks :P Please tell me what 你 think of it, and enjoy!

***

They always say,
"It's complicated,"
when they don't want to believe
that it's simple.
If it's simple, why is it so hard?

I think to myself,
"We're complicated."
Are we?
I'm a perjurer,
but you're a felon.
I'm lonely,
but you've got no one.
One night, 你 gave me everything I asked for
so can I ask for one 更多 thing?

Can 你 look at me
and see into my heart?
Can 你 not let yourself be fooled
when I say "I don't 爱情 you"?
Can 你 make it easier for me?
Because 你 were too late.
I was there, and 你 weren't,
so when he came,
I went with him instead.
When 你 got there,
I was gone.
So 你 owe me this.

Tell me why it was so hard
to lie to you.
Tell me why I held your hand,
when 你 couldn't even feel it.
Tell me why I wasn't just there
to protect hospital property.

Because I have no idea.

I don't know why I feel like
all I can think about is you.

你 really are
the most screwed up person in the world
你 were broken
so many times
and no one fixed you.
I don't know if I can.
I think it might be too late for that.

But can 你 fix yourself?
Can 你 remember why,
when everyone knew this was going somewhere,
你 made sure that it didn't?
Why 你 stood and stared through the window
instead of knocking on the door?
你 were scared.
Scared of what 你 might have found
if it had opened.

I'm scared too.

That's why
I need 你 to tell me
why I was lying when I yelled at 你 in Trenton,
why when 你 opened up your heart,
underneath the rubble,
I forgot everything I had known
that proved we would never work.
I need 你 to tell me.
Because it's frightening,
jumping into the darkness
and not knowing if there's anything there
to break my fall.

Why can't 你 just tell me?
You've always known all the answers.
Is it a sickness?
How long do I have?
Can 你 fix me?
But of course,
my 问题 are rhetorical.
I know the answer
even if I don't want to admit it.

There is no answer.

The scariest part of it is
this truth:
爱情 is simple.
It's too simple
and I need it to be complicated.

I 爱情 you.

That's not hard to understand.
There are no undertones, no double meaning.
But how can it be so simple,
when it's so hard?
I need reasons
because then I'll have a backup plan.
I'll understand
so I can prepare and I can make sure
that I won't get hurt.

But this is the price.
It's nonnegotiable.
I know, but I'm stalling.
Do I really want to pay?
Is what you're selling
worth it?

In the end, though, I know
that I won't be able to resist.
I want too much
to know what I will find
when I finally reach the end,
when I get to the bottom.
But to do that,
I have to put on a blindfold
and step over the edge.

I'm still not so sure,
but it's too late now.
There's no turning back.
My wings
haven't grown yet,
and I've let myself fall,
blind and uncertain.
So I guess we'll have to see if,
at the end,
there will be someone there to catch me.

***

Quick note: I realized after typing this up that it was loosely based on one of Cuddy's lines in the (amazing) final scene of the season 6 finale. She says "I just need to know if 你 and I can work", and I guess that's what inspired this. Oh, and just to clarify, this poem is basically what Cuddy is silently saying to House.